by Boopsy, Charis “Jr.”, and Little Miss
 
TRAGEDY HAS OCCURRED!! Asmodean, the cute lil harp player, who just HAPPENS to be a Forsaken was found dead. DEAD! Follow our two investigators, Charis Jr and Little Miss, as they go around torturing interrogating interviewing the key suspects at DM. Every few months we will feature a brand new mystery. Every week, we will let you know of the next witness and you will get to submit a question, and the top 1 to 2 questions will be featured in the issue. And at the end of it, YOU will get to vote as to who committed the crime.

 
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Interview with the Creator:
It was a dark and stormy night in the White Tower.  And I was hungry. No, the two facts had nothing to do with each other. But dark and stormy nights do make me think of jelly. Novice thing, don’t ask. Anyway, as a novice, I was not supposed to leave my quarters at night, but I was never going to sleep amidst the thunder and my grumbling belly (Hungering for jelly). So, I slipped out of bed, slipped on my white novice dress, and slipped out into the night…

The tower was busier at night than I’d imagined. Servant tending to their more intrusive duties,  Aes Sedai gliding along gracefully, their smooth, ageless faces, Warders creeping around “attending to duties”. I kept them a safe distance away as I crept toward the kitchen, all the while my belly (Hungering for jelly) drowning out the thunder and strange noises coming from the Aes Sedai Quarters. Was that “Fur covered handcuffs” I heard someone screaming?

Anyway, the pantry!

Also, and more famously now: Asmodean’s place of demise. By this time, the door to the pantry had been covered in Saidar seals, alarms that would bring everyone in Tar Valon running if the crime scene was violated. Also, very tasteful against the grainy brown texture of the door and the golden shine of the doorknob.
Spooning massive amounts of jelly into my mouth with my fingers, I set off. Unfortunately the spoons had all been kept, which left me trailing stick jelly as I walked. But I figured, it’d be raining, so who cared? Sure it’s raining outdoors and not indoors, but somehow… nevermind. Suddenly I realized I had something stuck to my sticky, jelly covered shoes. There was a moment of confusion as my sticky hands got caught on my sticky shoelace which in turn knotted up on my sticky blouse buttons and I had no choice but to drop to the floor, in a jumble. It was a piece of paper.

“If you want to find the Forsaken’s murderer, look to the top.” The piece of paper said, as I pulled apart my sticky fingers. ‘The top’? What could that mean? Surely it didn’t mean The Amyrlin Seat? And then it hit me: the top! The top of Dragonmount! And that could only mean one person: Jason. Creator and Founder of Dragonmount. Light almighty, could this be true? My mind boggled as I slipped in a jelly induced sugar coma.

After a morning of confusion and much cleaning of stickiness,  I managed to stop into his quarter’s on one of my many errand runs for the solemn sisters of the Brown Ajah in the libraries. I found him at his computer screaming, “DIE! DIE, YOU TROLLOC SCUM! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!”

It took me a minute to realize that he was enjoying one of his hobbies:  Computer Role Playing Games.

Suddenly timid, I took a deep breath. Why had this all seemed so clear in the middle of the night? Why, in the harsh light of day, did I hesitate? Why was there this bit of jelly still not washed off? Nevermind that, I figured as I licked it up and knocked on the door of the Creator.

“Um, Jason?” I asked. “Could I ask you something… well, a few somethings?”

He gave me a long level look, and then he grinned. “ Sure!” He said. “A pretty young thing like you can ask me anything you want!”

Right.

I started with a question I had heard The Amyrlin Seat herself ask:

Q:  Why did you never finish “Episode VI: Return of the Dragon”?

Whatever THAT was. These higher types had their own little secrets. Better for an ickle Novice like me not to know too much details.

A: You know, I actually had an outline for that once. I might even be able to dig it up. But mostly, I just made that stuff up as I went. … Which is probably why it was so bad.  Apologize to Claire for me, will ya?

He laughed and winked at me. I looked around worriedly and decided he was just suffering from the Taint. Sure wasn’t the “I didn’t have time, too busy murdering Asmodean” answer I was hoping for. Moving along…

Q: What’s your favorite non-WoT, non-literary pastime?

A: Sex.

And then burst out laughing,

Q: Ummm…

A:  I’m sorry, you should have seen your face! In my day, Novices knew better. Let’s see. Beyond the Computer Role Playing Games, I like to watch movies and go geocaching.

Mystified by that idea, (why would roaming about the woods looking for hidden objects based on their GPS location, be fun?) I considered. He still seemed relatively harmless. Except for the constant winking and shifting in his seats. But I figured it was just his impatience to get back to his trolloc killing game.

Q: What are some of your other favorite authors and books?

A: Welllll… Although it’s pretty trendy to say this these days, I loved THE NAME OF THE WIND by Pat Rothfuss. One of my favorite trilogies is a series that Robert Jordan also very much enjoyed. We talked about it a few times actually. It was the TALES OF THE OTORI by Lian Hearn. Think of a fantasy version of Japan, with ninjas and samauri (but not called that) and magic. If you’re interested, start with the book titled ACROSS THE NIGHTINGALE FLOOR. The author also wrote a prequel and a sequel to the story. I did not enjoy those as much, although they were very well written. The reason I did not enjoy them as much is because the subject matter was just so much more difficult and heart-wrenching than the initial trilogy. I was definitely moved, but I had been expecting a light-hearted action-adventure with romance like the originals.

I’m a huge fan of the original DUNE novels.

I’m a long-time fan of Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. The deathgate novels were my favorite series of theirs. Darksword and Dragonlance close behind.

Recently I read John Scalzi’s “Old Man’s War” trilogy and those were outstanding. I’ve got ZOE’s TALE queued up next.

In terms of non-fiction, I enjoy books concerning eastern religions and philosophies. I’m also a huge fan of classical Greek mythology, which is something I’ve been into since I was a pre-teen. But…

My fingers started going numb as I struggled to write the answers. I decided to go for something less… lengthy.

Q: If you could create a new pizza, what would it be?

I could practically feel the glee rolling off him as he answered. Not to mention the drool. Ick.

A: I’m pretty sure that every pizza that could possibly be made has already been made. But if I had to alter the fabric of the universe and make a combo actually work, I’d love to have a peanut-butter and jelly pizza actually be feasible. Currently the concept is disgusting. But as I said, if I could somehow MAKE it work, I’d like to see that.

I blanched. Did he know about the jelly? From my sticky jelly trail? OH THE SHAME! I wept inside as I considered the concept of a Peanut Butter and Jelly pizza. Promising.

Q: What was one new thing that you tried for the first time last year (2009)?

A: I joined a gym (well for the first time in a decade; not ever) and put on several pounds of muscle. I’m still tall and lanky, but hopefully not as much as I was last year at this time.

I considered the Peanut Butter and Jelly pizza a little more as he winked at me again. This would need thought. A lot of thought. Moving on…

Q: What’s one new thing  you want to try this year?

A: I want to try finishing one of my side projects. Something I have an unfortunate habit of not doing due to family / work / personal commitments / DM duties /etc.

Side projects? The word flashed in my mind like a… a giant… flashing thing. Could this have to do with Asmodean’s death? I wondered. But something shiny caught my eye. A tiny drop of sweat had coursed down his sideburns and dripped on to his pants.

Q:  Boxers or Briefs?

I blushed. I did not mean to wonder out loud.

A: Boxers. Duh.

He answered with a curious look in his eyes. I mentally shook myself.

Q: If you could add a holiday to the year, what would it be? Why? What would it mean?

He shrugged.

A: I’d create some sort of holiday where people got outside, and experienced nature. At the end of the day, there would be a tradition where as many lights as possible were turned off in the cities as was safe and feasible so that as many stars as possible could be seen.

Aww. What a guy. A nature lover and a romantic, all rolled into one. Boxers and no less. (Or much less) NO! Focus!

Q:  How does it feel to be the Creator of such a phenomenon that is DM?

He winked at me. Clearly not taking this interrogation seriously. Probably needing some discipline. Furry handcuffs? Now where did THAT come from?

A: It’s a phenomenon? It’s a real honor to be associated with the series in this way. Although there’s often a lot of crap to put up with, and challenges related to keeping the site up and running and healthy from a technical POV, it has overall been extremely rewarding.

I wondered if he knew about the fanfic and slash stories about him circulating in the novice quarters. Probably. After all, he WAS the Creator. And also very hot. I blushed at the last thought. Panicking I read a random question.

Q: If you could create a new Ajah what color would it be and what would study/believe?

Light, why did I ask THAT? But he seemed quite happy.

A: I’d make two of them. The first is the Silver Ajah. Concerned with creating art. The second would be the Gold Ajah. Which is concerned with economics and generating wealth. (I could see the former having warders who made excellent live subjects, and the latter would have warders trained as lawyers)

I picked my jaw up off the floor. A lifelong hope of mine was a dream of his? I had long wished that artist Aes Sedai were part of the tower. On that thought I decided I might as well go for he kill…

Q: If you could add a new suspect to the mystery of Asmodean’s killer, who would it be?

I had no doubt in my mind that he was innocent, the winking, I mean sincerity seemed to say so. But if he knew anything, he might be able to shed some light on the subject. His face turned deadly serious. After a long moment, he answered.

A: Narg the trolloc. I have a special place in my heart for him. And if a trolloc can figure out how to speak, it can figure out how to murder one of the Forsaken and frame everyone else in the series.

A special place in his heart for a trolloc? Wow, he was such a caring person! I struggled to come to grips with reality as I tried to understand how the Creator could love an ickle Trolloc. Did an ickle Novice have a chance too? Maybe I had time to… NO. I thanked him sweetly, gave him my best curtsy and wink, then whirled and tore off for Luncheon. Just in time as the Tower Bells began ringing noon.

NEXT ISSUE: We investigate Kathana Justinia Trevalaer, Community Administrator & Co-Webmaster and all round previous Amyrlin! Was it a pudding induced comawalk that made her do it? Should she be confined and banned from the pudding mines? Will she never stop picking her nose? Ask your question, FIND THE MURDERER, for poor Asmodean’s sake, people, for poor Asmodean’s sake.

This is issue we highlight the possibilities that JASON DENZEL: Creator, Founder and ALL ROUND NICE GUY of Dragonmount, could be a suspect. Insanity? The Taint? Too much deviant se- computer games? That’s what our investigator for the week, Charis Jr, is trying to find out.