During the days of the breaking many events occurred but much was lost in the confusion. The world was rent and rebuilt. Balefire destroyed what had already occurred leaving fragmented memories for some, and no memories for others. Only some knowledge remains of what took place during the chaos.

At the White Tower:
* Lanfir finds Ishamael, wounded, on the Tower grounds and heals him.

* Ender fully succumbs to the Taint, Narell finds him. Rather than let him destroy everything Narell helps him die, killing herself in the process.

* The Amyrlin Seat is knocked unconscious by a piece of falling rock, when she reawakens she summons all Aes Sedai.

* All bonds are suddenly dissolved

In The Rest of The World:
* War in the Borderlands is suddenly disrupted as the male channelers succumb to the Taint.

* Rogue channeler Sam d’ma Shadar is still sought

* Garrat Jax dies

March 31, 1999: The Breaking Ends

* The warder Whitewolf, who had become a warder in an attempt to deny his wolf like impulses found he could deny the impulses any longer and returns to the forest. (Changes character to Lan and remains bonded to Nynaeve Sedai)

* Aldazar requests meeting of the Wolfbrothers

* Two people arrive by portal stone near the White Tower, as they approach the Tower they are recognized as Ender and Narell

* Kathana, who refused healing during the Breaking, finally allows herself to be healed – she will have to rest for a week.

* Arik and Siuan bonded

* Matalina requests that all Warders looking for a Bondholder contact her

* Raisha bonds Mark Tiran

* Yveva bonds Matalina

Disputes:New bonding rules argued over (wolfkin not allowed to be bonded)

* Aldiran announces all members of the Band of the Red Hand hold the rank of Recruit

April 6, 1999

* Mark Tiran suggests DM should be a parallel WoT world and the books shouldn’t be followed at all

* Aldiran says DM should follow the basics of the books

* Raisha announces archive of DM Lit

* Ilyena announces return to DM

* Dark Blight announces return to DM

* Darksmoon leaves the White Tower and decides to rejoin the Wolfbrothers

* Gray Wind, Oran the Ogier, and Blacktooth travel through Ways during the breaking and arrive in Andor

* Rose Crimsonthorne begins to learn the sword in her hometown

* Janduin announces he is working on creating two new organizations: The Seanchan, and The Sea Folk

* Ravin raised to Packrunner

* Steath admits to being Tenchu and is killed by Ishamael and Darksmoon

April 9, 1999: Freelanders Org made official with Thom Merrilin leader

* Janduin announces Sea Folk page at http://www.geocities.com/80/TimesSquare/Castle/3538 and the Seanchan page at http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Zone/1500

* Slayer Shields Tarishma Sedai and places a weave on her heart, slowing it, then severs her from the source

* Rose Crimsonthorne arrives at the White Tower training grounds

April 11, 1999: Phoenix announces official start of the RP

* The Amyrlin Seat awakes (after resting from being Healed) and admits to being in love with Lone Wolf

* Lone Wolf admits to having been Roland Broadcloak

* Toman Gaidin wishes to be re-bonded by Leane Sedai

* Alena Sedai bonds Chivalry Lightspear

* Nicholai (from the Black Tower) sent to find the Freelanders

* Thunder begins to journey South toward Andor

* Dalinarius and Silver Sedai try to stop Sam d’ma Shadar from leaving (after finally finding him), but are unsuccessful. Sam d’ma Shadar and Darksmoon escape. Mellyn Sedai bonds Sam as he escapes. (Note: the bond is later decided to not have happened as it was under dubious circumstances)

* Darksmoon travels with Sam d’ma Shadar and Tarishma he doesn’t trust Tarishma and leaves the group

* Dalinarius and Silver Sedai return to the Tower

April 19, 1999

* Toman Gaidin asks Leane Sedai to re-bond him

* Slayer is charged with finding a replacement for Blackthorne

* Demandred has a ter’angreal which traps external happenings, gets informed of the major events of the world which occurred while he was trapped. Meets with Ishamael and Lanfear to discuss what havoc to create

* Jinneran Sedai bonds Sword Bard they plan to be married

* Nomad goes to join Darksmoon

* Serak Morhein decides to leave the Black Hills and go to Tar Valon as it is the only place which will welcome him
br>

April 23, 1999

* Aldiran sends Tarishma (who has joined the BOTRH) and Khaavren to Cairhein, Raolin and Odilon to Illian, and Shrike and Garrett to Tear

* While camping near Emond’s Field with Oran the Ogier, and Blacktooth, GrayWind hears of the approach of two Wolfbrothers and a Wolfsister

* Slayer goes to Tear, hides Callandor to every eye but his and that of the Dragon Reborn and plants a Dragon Banner in the heart of the Stone

* Crimsonthorne, having difficulties with some of her roommates at the White Tower is moved to a single room

* Mor’dib goes to the Black Tower to find the seals to the Dark One’s prison

* Byron Muradin comes from Andor to join TBOTRH

* Aventari attempts to kidnap Alanna Sedai as the final step of his initiation in a family/guild of assassins. The attempt fails and Alanna takes him back to her tree house (built after the breaking as much of the Green Quarters were destroyed), interested in what he may know

* Alosha Sedai, and three other sisters (in all a Green, Gray, White and Blue) travel to the Black Tower to talk with the M’Hael

* Anonymous Rumors spread that the Dragon has been reborn and taken The Sword That Cannot Be Touched, something has broken into the Stone (of Tear) and that the Dragon has taken Tear. Clouds beginning to gather over Tar Valon

* Trollocs approach and pass Radagast one finds him and he kills it and runs

* Trolloc comes to the Inn where Darkenlives

* Aldazar,Morsayne, Ravin, and Gray Wind travel together toward Western Andor
* ,br> Darken gets the Trolloc to chase him outside and has his first contact with a wolf

* Malkaresh Travels to the Blight in search of Shadowspawn

* DewStar eavesdrops on a conversation between the M’Hael and the Aes Sedai. He is caught and is volunteered to go work with the Aes Sedai. DewStar, Jerome, and a few others to go to Tar Valon. That night awakes to the sound of screaming, runs down the hall to find an Aes Sedai dressed in white dead

* Mor’dib Travels to just outside Tar Valon

* Assatur and Shrike try to reach The Band while in Tear. They find a woman being attacked and try to aid her. They kill her attackers but become wounded in the process. The woman helps them. Arik and Siuan happen to pass by and come to heal them, they say the band is two days away. Assatur and Shrike stay one night with a band of Tinkers and reach The Band the next day

* Raolin travels with Odilon toward Illian. They meet a group of thieves, duel with them and win

* Novam, Darken and Ignis (the wolf Darken first made contact with) travel toward Tar Valon

* Wolflover finds Darksmoon and joins the pack

May 1, 1999

* Phoenix makes an informal announcement at The Amyrlin Seat’s party (in the INN). He says that Jon’atha, and Ben T-Gaidin will be leading DM for the summer and with the Server upgrade members will have the opportunity to pay $5 (US) a year in order to have personalized icons, and email address (yourname@dragonmount.com). The Organizations will all be required to have a solid ranking system with two or three ranks per Org.

* Kagato Has not turned to the Shadow but is being trained by Ishamael in order to face his brother who is out to kill him. He is taken to the center of the Blight by Ishamael and told to survive without using the OP

* Greydawn arrives at Four Kings intending to earn his room and board by performing

* Mark Tiran sneaks over the wall into the White Tower grounds trying to get information about the discs (seals to the DO’s prison). He overhears *Dazzle* and Suzama Sedai planning to travel without their warders. He follows them as they leave early the next morning.

* Callandor, in search of the Freelanders, is told to head south to find Mark Tiran

* Alanna Sedai, Alosha Sedai, and Edoduin Sedai leave the Black Tower with DewStar and Hunter.

* Darken leaves a message for Alosha and the Inn saying that there was an attack believed to be by trollocs. He left with Novam Sedai who is curious about the dark clouds that were approaching. Darken is called to Western Andor for the meeting of the wolfkin and leaves Novam Sedai

* *Dazzle* Sedai and Suzama Sedai travel with the discs toward Alosha Sedai and the group she is travelling with

* Mor’dib captures Alosha Sedai in Caemlyn and takes her through a Gateway to a camp of darkfriends

* Sam d’ma Shadar, in Caemlyn, feels sadin used. He comes around the corner in time to see a man with an Aes Sedai at knifepoint

* Darken senses Alosha Sedai is in trouble. He encounters a group of trollocs and hides from them

* Slayer is charged with killing Serak Morhein

* Mor’dib drugs Alosha Sedai and ties off her shield. He realizes that he had once held her mother captive as well

* Sam d’ma Shadar follows Mor’dib’s Gateway

* Toman Gaidin declares war on the Whitecloaks

* Aldiran sends Assatur to bring the Band’s scouts back and declares they will march to Murandy

* Khaavren comes back to the band with Cayle, an Ogier

* Danera Sedai bonds Rynmik

* Mor’dib senses sadin has been used and orders the camp to break and begin to move

* Novam Sedai and Atari meet with Daelin Sedai

* Daidalous leaves Tar Valon

* Darken distracts the trollocs while the wolves attack from behind, they win. He gathers his things and leaves

* Ishamael Gateways in Lanfear, Demandred, and Slayer. Rhavin, Moghedein, Semhirage, and AsmodEan Gateway themselves in. Ishamael tells the others that they need to be more active and remind the world of the Great Lord of the Dark

* Demandred, angry with Ishamael, writes a letter to Slayer

* Odilon and Raolin return tot he Band’s camp and report to Aldiran

* Alanna Sedai notices that Alosha Sedai has disappeared and begins to search for her

* Slayer seeks assistance from D’Spyre for the battle to come

* Demandred’s note to Slayer reads: “One finger on our right hand may need to be amputated. We need another to graft on in it’s place. ~~Mor’shadare’faen”

* Mor’dib feels call to join Chosen but decides that freeing the Great Lord of the Dark by collecting the seals is more important

* Aldiran promotes Duko to Banner Captain

* After witnessing unrest in Tear and Mayene Sea Folk vessels begin to leave in droves. There are worries about the possibility of other merchants leaving. Refugees head north and west of Mayene. Relations between Tear and Mayene become strained and locals believe that the only place for the refugees is Andor

* Connor Kilhairn rallies the Legion of the Dragon. He is to lead it with Slaughterville and Taimandred as Lieutenants

(Winner of the first annual Wheel of Time Olympics held at Dragon*Con 2003. Team: Alin, Jason, & Matalina.)

Silver Foxhead Award of Excellence
[ December, 2002 ]
The Pattern of the Ages

WoT Community Site Award
[ October, 2002 ]
Cuendillar website

Silver Artsy Award
[ July, 2002 ]
ArtsyAwards.com

Servant of All Award
[ July, 2002 ]
TarValon.net

Light-Blinded Award
[ May, 2000 ]
Stolen WoT Pages

Site of the Month
[ June, 1999 ]
wotmania

Heron-Marked Site of the Month
[ April, 1999 ]
TheWays.com

new web site “Pick of the Week”
[ October 25, 1998 ]
Yahoo.com

Aes Sedai- The highest level in the White Tower, also the popular name for all the ladies in the White Tower Organization. Guys are called Warders or Lovers. Very few reach the level of Husband. There is no generalities among Aes Sedai; the Organization is broken into seven Ajahs, each one with its own peculiarities, such as Red Ajah’s fondness for grapes, flimy dresses, Ender Wiggin and Phoenix and the Green Ajah’s fascination with Men in General and Mint and Special Teas. See ‘Organizations’, ‘Warders’, ‘Lovers’, ‘Husband’, ‘Ajahs’, Ender Wiggin’, ‘Phoenix’ and ‘Tea’.

Aiel- Organization with the same aims and ambitions as your local gun club. They use female members called Maidens to entice men to give the Organization money to buy more spears and knives by playing group games called such names as ‘Maiden’s Kiss’. Do not mistake members for a popular drink. These are Dragonmount’s spear lovers and are provoked easily. See ‘Maidens’.

Ajahs- Clubs within the White Tower Organization. There are eight of them: the Red, White, Blue, Green, Gray, Yellow, Brown and Rainbow Ajahs. The Red Ajah believes in female superiority and demonstrates this on Ender Wiggin, their hostage. The Green Ajah believes in free love, free Mint Tea and Special Tea and in communal living. The Brown Ajah believes in the power of chocolate and they study old books from the Age of Legends called maga’zeens, with titles like ‘laygirl’ and ‘Husler for Wome’, believed to contain all the secrets of the Age of Legends. The Blue Ajah has a fondness for birds and bird seed. The Yellow Ajah imitates the Green and Red Ajahs. The White Ajah is into Novice rearing and childcare. The Gray Ajah is into Accepted rearing and discipline. The Rainbow Ajah has only one member, the Amyrlin Seat and she’s just a really messed up Brown sister at heart. See ‘Amyrlin Seat’, ‘Ender Wiggin’, ‘Mint’, ‘Tea’, ‘Chocolate’, ‘Novice’ and ‘Accepted’.

Amyrlin Seat- Dictator and Organization Leader of the White Tower. Our current one is Kathana Sedai of the Brown Ajah, meaning she is addicted to chocolate. In her case, this is in the form of chocolate pudding and she abuses her authority to gain access to unlimited chocolate pudding cups. Recent rumour suspects that her Warder, Joe Gaidin is the true chocoholic among the two, though Warder Organization and the Amyrlin Seat both flatly deny this. See ‘Warders’, ‘Chocolate’, ‘White Tower’ and ‘Ajah’.

Asha’man- The highest position in the Black Tower, also the popular name of all of the male members of the Black Tower Organization. The female members of the Black Tower Organization are called Warders or Wives. Asha’man are reported to be quite arrogant towards others, temperamental and very rarely, insane due to food poisoning from chickens. See ‘Black Tower’, ‘Warders’, ‘Wives’ ‘Dedicated’, ‘Solider’ and ‘Chickens’.

Band of the Red Hand- An military-orientated Organization similar to the Army. Members pledge to be never caught red handed during a mission. They wander the world without a real destination, helping others Role Play in Dragonmount. Their actual purpose of existence is a tight Organization secret.

Black Tower- A farm where the Asha’man train. The official name of the Asha’man’s Organization, its function is to train men in using saidin, swordsmenship and chicken catching. An often understated fact is that the Black Tower provides most of Dragonmount’s chickens. Some Asha’man have special Warders called Wives that make food for them and clean their rooms, though Wives are quite rare. Most Asha’man are bonded as Warders to Aes Sedai. See ‘Organizations’, ‘One Power’, ‘Chickens’, ‘Wives’, ‘Warders’ and ‘Aes Sedai’.

Breaking- Large periods of disruption in Dragonmount, sometimes accidently, sometimes deliberately and sometimes both. There have been three or four such Breakings at Dragonmount at the time of this record. Any disruption less than a week is not considered a Breaking and is viewed as normal in the community.

Chickens- There is absolutely nothing special about Black Tower™ chickens. They’re just normal, finger-licking chickens.

Children of the Light- Whitecloaks, as called by everyone except the Organization’s homepages, are dedicated to harassing people and poking their noses into everything. This is where Phoenix sentences people who try to flame or successfully flame at Dragonmount to, for a punishment of a year’s membership. Apparently this Organization’s meeting hall is located on the beach and many people at Dragonmount beg to be ‘tortured by the Light’. See ‘Whitecloaks’.

Chocolate- Official stimulant of the Brown Ajah. See ‘Mint’ and ‘Ajahs’.

Cookie- Phoenix’s favourite food, this is the only means that the White Tower has

of controlling him semi-willingly. The Dark One also supposedly has a

weakness for cookies, hence Its orders for cookie hunting and baking.

Dragon Reborn- Titled used exclusively by Phoenix. Entitles him to god-like powers, including ability to add pages to Dragonmount, desirability by all females in the Dragonmount community and ability to start threads on Star Wars without fear of being flamed. See ‘Phoenix’, ‘Flamed’, ‘Star Wars’ and ‘Threads’.

Empress- The Organization Leader of the Seanchan Organization, she is the second most beautiful woman in all of Dragonmount. Her guards protect her from attacks from the White Tower, who is jealous of her beauty. See ‘Seanchan’.

Ender Wiggin- An ordinary ex-Asha’man, now Warder with an extraordinary mission: to be the slave of the entire Red Ajah, catering to every whim of the Reds. It is reported that he eats grapes frequently and forced to endure beautiful women in flimy dresses. Yellows and Greens believe this is a result of the Red’s No Bonding philosophy. All rescue attempts have failed, including Therva Sedai of the Yellow Ajah bonding him. See ‘Ajahs’ and ‘Asha’man’.

Flamed- When Phoenix gets angry, people combust into flames, hence being ‘flamed’. Phoenix’s Dragon Reborn powers prevent himself from being flamed. This protection extends somewhat to Staff. See ‘Dragon Reborn’, ‘Staff’ and ‘Phoenix’.

Freelanders- An Organization that preaches freedom of expression, but unlike the Green Ajah of the White Tower Organization, they do not openly act out their beliefs. They are lead by a Gleeman. You do the math. See ‘Organization’ and ‘Gleeman’.

General Help- Second lowest of the Staff categories, this is yet the most important one. General Helpers ensure the upkeep of Dragonmount and the minor details that Phoenix or the other Staff don’t have the time or expertise to deal with. This is also the largest growing of all of the Staff categories. They are also used to blame for Breakings or any disruption to Dragonmount. See ‘Breaking’.

Gleeman- Organization Leader of the Freelanders and Man Who Brings Glee to the Multitudes. He does not use Mint Tea or any stimulants whatsoever, nor does his Organization condone their usage. See ‘Mint’, ‘Tea’, ‘Chocolate’, ‘Freelanders’ and ‘Organization Leader’.

Husband- A very rare rank among Warders and Lovers in the White Tower Organization. Husband entitles the gentleman almost equality with his Aes Sedai. This is also considered a semi-permanent title. See ‘Lovers’ ‘White Tower’ and ‘Warders’.

Incarnations- One Power and Evil incarnated, hence the name. They stand below Phoenix and have almost all his Dragon Reborn powers, except the sexy powers. They supposedly are the bosses of the Role Playing at Dragonmount, but no one ever seems to see them around. Researchers suggest that the Incarnations really don’t exist, but experiments have proven that speaking the Incarnations’ names brings attention and results. Their names are: Saidar, Saidin and The Dark One. It is whispered though that there are more Incarnations: Open Rose, The Flame and the Void, Shai’tan (pronounced D’eye-al-Op), Father of Lies, White Blossom and Taint. Some even add Kathana Sedai (The Amyrlin Seat) and Joe Gaidin to this list, though that is purely speculative. See ‘One Power’, ‘Role Playing’ and ‘Kathana’.

Kathana Sedai- See ‘Amyrlin Seat’.

Lovers- A rank of almost Warder class among the males of the White Tower Organization. Most Lovers are tall, handsome, excellent swordsmen, sensitive, have ICQ, beautiful eyes and leave within a period of a month. The few Lovers who stay longer often become Warders. See ‘Warders’, ‘White Tower’ and ‘Organization’.

Maidens- Female members of the Aiel Organization. Often found in groups playing games with males or using sign language to flirt with fellow Aiel or devise cunning plans to get money from Wetlanders, the name for anyone who’s not a member. See ‘Aiel’ and ‘Wetlander’.

Message Board- Threads woven together to make a Pattern used for various purposes, but mostly for Role Playing. See ‘Role Playing’ and ‘Threads’.

Mint- A herbal stimulant used most commonly in the teas prepared by Green Ajah members of the White Tower Organization. Green Sisters claim Mint Tea is essential for obtaining the maximum for channeling, whatever that means. In mass amounts, it can cause laughter, euphoria and sharing of Warders and Lovers. See ‘Ajahs’, ‘White Tower’, ‘Tea’ and ‘Organization’.

Mistress of the Ships- Organization Leader of the Sea Folk, she is the most beautiful of the Dragonmount female population, partly due to the fact that the Mistress is elected to her position yearly by a panel of Masters of the Blade. See ‘Sea Folk’.

Nae’blis- The Organization Leader of Shayol Ghul Organization. He lives to serve the Dark One, literally. See ‘Shayol Ghul’.

Novice- A newbie to the White Tower Organization. See ‘White Tower’.

Ogier- An Organization of large, organic-loving critters with big ears, big noses, big mouths and hair everywhere! Oh, wait a moment, that’s rabbits… Well, same diff.

One Power- Mental energy available only to the members of the White Tower, Black Tower and No Organization Organizations. Aes Sedai use a type of One Power called saidar, Asha’man use saidin and No Organization people use whatever One Power type they can get.

Organizations- Smaller communities akin to support groups within Dragonmount, usually exclusive to a type of people. The Organizations at Dragonmount are: White Tower, Black Tower, Wolfbrothers, Shayol Ghul, Children of the Light, Freelanders, Warders, Seanchan, Ogier, Band of the Red Hand, Sea Folk and Aiel. No Organization is a special Organization for people who don’t need support groups, like Phoenix and the Incarnations and various other Staff. See all Organizations listed above.

Organization Leader- Simply the boss of an Organization, though it is a Staff category. Some Organization Leaders have special titles, like Amyrlin Seat for White Tower, M’Hael for Black Tower, Elder for Ogier and Empress for Seanchan. See ‘Organizations’ and ‘Staff’. They are blamed for all the crashes and lacks of updates on Organization Pages.

Organizational Help- Staff members created by Organization Leaders in order to place the blame for their failures on somebody else. They are often forgot by other Staff Members (including their Organization Leaders) and have a thankless job, unless they whine like Blackthorne and Yveva. See ‘Staff’ and ‘Organization Leader’.

Phoenix- GOD. See ‘Dragon Reborn’, ‘Asha’man’ and ‘Staff’.

Role Playing- No one is quite sure where the Role Playing starts and stops at Dragonmount. This is the chief domain and responsibility of the Incarnations, a group of Staff members. We really don’t Role Play; we Play ourselves. See ‘Incarnations’ and ‘Staff’.

Sea Folk- The true Wetlanders. Their Organization is based on a love of the seas and the ship they live upon. Their female members are alleged to be the most beautiful of all of Dragonmount, much to the anger of the White Tower, who try to squish these rumours into pancakes. See ‘White Tower’.

Seanchan- An Organization alike Sea Folk in the way of their love for ships, except they love to chain up Aes Sedai as well. They wear weird clothes and have weird accents, like they have food in their mouths. Naturally, the White Tower tries to squish this Organization as well as the Sea Folk. See ‘White Tower’, ‘Aes Sedai’ and ‘Sea Folk’.

Shayol Ghul- The only Organization with most of its members in other Organizations simultaneously. Their purpose is to worship the Dark One (Fact: The Dark One is only Incarnation with Its own Organization) and supply all of Its needs, which extends from the Amyrlin’s Chocolate Pudding and the Green Ajah’s Secret and Mint Teas, to Phoenix’s Cookies and the souls of a thousand Asha’man. Their Organization Leader is called the Nae’blis, who organizes his Organization members in the Dark One’s tasks. See ‘Chocolate’, ‘Mint’, ‘Tea’, ‘Cookie’, ‘Asha’man’, ‘Ajahs’ and ‘Nae’blis’.

Staff- Also known as Staff Members, these people are specially chosen by Phoenix to temporarily borrow his Dragon Reborn powers for the greater good of Dragonmount. Their numbers vary, seeming to increase with every Breaking, but they can be classified under the categories of Incarnations, Organization Leaders, General Help and Organizational Help. See ‘Incarnations’, ‘Organization Leaders’, ‘General Help’, ‘Organizational Help’, ‘Dragon Reborn’ and ‘Phoenix’.

Star Wars- An obscure religion whose members are often persecuted and teased. Members come from all Organizations (though the Black and White Towers seem to have the highest concentrations) and believe in an imaginary power called the Force, in which only special people in a priest-like role called Jedi Knights can use. It is important to notice that such prominent figures like Phoenix are active members of this religion, yet avoid stigma. Perhaps Star Wars may one day become the official religion of Dragonmount. See ‘Phoenix’, ‘White Tower’, ‘Black Tower’, ‘Organization’.

Tea- Aes Sedai liquid aid for concentration. The Green Ajah uses this liquid brewed from Mint leaves to serve and question guests, leaving a Special brand for Green Ajah ceremonies like bondings and sleepovers. See ‘Aes Sedai’. ‘Ajahs’ and ‘Mint’.

Threads- Components of Role Playing, as well as components of the One Power. It is unknown if they are the same thing. Only Phoenix and few other Staff know the secret method of combining threads to make a message board. See ‘Role Playing’, ‘One Power’, ‘Phoenix’, ‘Staff’ and ‘Message Board’.

Warders- In the White Tower Organization, Warder is the second level for a man. He is bonded to an Aes Sedai after being her Lover for a period of time. Some Warders are lucky enough to be one of the few to reach the highest level, that of Husband. In the Black Tower Organization, the level of Warder is simultaneous with the title of Wife and is obtained easily by women. However, the duties are greater for the female Warder than her male counterpart. There is rumour that this may be a separate Organization, though no proof is seen at this time. See ‘White Tower’, ‘Black Tower’, ‘Lover’, ‘Husband’ and ‘Wives’.

Wetlander- Name for anyone who’s not Aiel in the Aiel Organization. The only true wetlanders are Sea Folk members. See ‘Sea Folk’.

Whitecloaks- See ‘Children of the Light’.

White Tower- The place where the White Tower Organization operates out of and the name of an Organization at Dragonmount. Members are called Aes Sedai (though newbies and semi-newbies are called Novices and Accepted respectively) and wield a magic called saidar to mostly try to control Dragonmount’s populace and Phoenix. The Black Tower alone keeps them from this and the fact that the White Tower Organization is divided into clubs called Ajahs that plot and plan against each other, so nothing really gets done. This is one of the most favourite Organizations at Dragonmount simply for this ‘no work, all play’ attitude. Their Leader, the Amyrlin Seat is the worst of them all. See ‘Amyrlin Seat’, ‘Aes Sedai’, ‘Accepted’, ‘Novice’, ‘Phoenix’, ‘Black Tower’, ‘Ajahs’, ‘One Power’ and ‘Organization’.

Wives- A title given to female members of the Black Tower Organizations that is interchangeable with ‘Warder’. Wives work hard and are well deserving of the love and respect given to them by their equals at the Black Tower. They are, however, not seen by the White Tower Organization as being the equal to their Husbands. Instead, many Wives are kidnapped and brought to the White Tower supposedly for their own safety and good. See ‘Black Tower’, ‘Warder’, ‘White Tower’ and ‘Husband’.

Wolfbrothers- The few non-channeling men smart enough to run when Aes Sedai

approach them

Wolfsisters- Non-channeling women smart enough to follow the fleeing men called

Wolfbrothers, seeing a great opportunity in the void of no Aes Sedai, especially those of the Green and Red Ajahs.

Nynaeve sniffed and managed to keep her hands from tugging her braid. That was a bad habit she was trying to break, no matter how much Lan laughed at her when she was angry. Where was the bloody man, anyway? She considered tapping her foot, but decided against it. Best for him to not see her worried or anything less than the calm, commanding, sensible woman she was. She counted to five. Still no Lan. With an exasperated sigh, she set out along the well-beaten path in front of her. Soon or later, Lan would find her. It would be fun to see if she could outsmart him, she smiled. Making sure to leave no trace for him to track, she walked quickly and unsuspectingly to the Black Tower. She never wondered how she had ended up on this path from riding her horse in Ebou Dar, but, hey, the Wheel weaved the Pattern and stranger things had happened before.

Alanna tasted the warm gooey Spoon™. Mmmmm. She licked her lips. It was perfect, maybe too good for the Aiel. Pouring the pot into a sturdy barrel and sealing it quickly for freshness, she was ready to leave the kitchen. Then she saw him. She smiled and winked at him. He smiled back.

“Hello, my lady,” he bowed. “Now what is a lovely flower like you doing in this terrible heat?”

Alanna giggled back and smiled even wider. “I like it hot. So, what’s your name?”

“Mat. Mat Cauthon,” he spoke with a warm voice. “And your name is…”

“Alanna. Alanna Mosvani.” She allowed him to kiss her hand. Mat Cauthon or not; that name was a big pick-up line in Dragonmount, she intended to use him for more than the obvious reasons.

“So, Alanna,” he murmured. “You have a place where we can be alone?”

She smiled and let him by hand to her apartments, happy to have found the perfect man to take the pudding to the Aiel and make the bargain, even if he wasn’t really Mat.

The bazaar was a busy place where all the merchants of Dragonmount, NPC or not, met and made agreements in hidden corners of ICQ chats. Perrin Aybere, now called Perrin Goldeneyes, was lost. More than the obvious.

“Hey, have you seen my wife?” he asked a tightly-dressed Domani. She looked at him confused (a newbie, obviously) and nodded. He sighed. “Thanks. Here.” He pressed a coin in her hand. “If you see her, I’m staying at the…” He checked a piece of paper.

“The Inn?” she added, helpfully.

“The Spring of Morning Inn.”

“Oh, I see.” She looked even more confused. “Bye now.” She scurried off towards an ICQ chat to ask about the existance of another Inn in Dragonmount.

He waved and continued his questioning of the crowd, growing as the day went on. He was really lost and more than losing Faile. He had no notion of where in the world he was; he had woken up in the middle of a street in his smallclothes. Perrin strongly suspected Rand of a prank, but it wasn’t Rand’s style, not anymore. He played the role of Dragon Reborn without breaking. Still, the only other alternative was the Dark One and he definitely didn’t want to think about that.

Maybe the wolves could help. Opening his mind, he searched for four-footed brothers. He felt some, far to the north, almost beyond his range. To run or stay? His feet itched to run free under the starry night, lopping through the long grasses and under the branches of oak and ash and… Realizing that he was mentally babbling, he stopped and really started walking north out of the bazaar, towards finding himself. He felt a little bad over Faile, but there was nothing he could do right now to fix that. You needed to know the bowl before you fixed it.

Hmm… Was this Egwene’s meeting place? He really wanted to see Elayne again. He ran a hand through his hair and opened the door. It had been a long time since he had seen her last in Tear; a few fond dreams did not count. His eyes widened. Surely they wouldn’t meet in an inn!

Going to the bar, he sat down beside a man who looked a lot like himself, yet he looked so young. Rand had seen a lot during these past years, many things that would haunt him forever. Ilyena! Lews Therin howled and Rand cut him off right then and there. He had heard the litany of Lews Therin many times before.

“What do you want to drink?” A woman with dark hair and steel eyes asked him.

“Nothing right now. Maybe a pint. I’m looking for someone.”

The woman nodded absently. “Everyone’s looking for someone.”

He paused. Who to trust? Yet what was a man when he could not trust anyone? “I’m looking for a woman with blonde hair, blue eyes who might be travelling with a shorter woman with a long dark braid and a temper. You seen them?”

The woman paused as she drew a pint. “It sounds like you’re describing Elayne and Nynaeve, but there’s no one like that in Dragonmount. Phoenix and the others wouldn’t hear of it.”

His breath caught. “You know her? Where is she?” he demanded roughly.

“Hey, hey, calm down.” The woman made soothing gestures. “Book-wise, they’re both in Camlyn. Of course, that is a POD spoiler. Sorry, but you really won’t find anyone like those two here or with their names. Why don’t you try one of the MUD’s, hmm?”

Rand sat back. What was the woman talking about? She must be insane, yet how did she know those things about Elayne and Nynaeve? Taking a deep breath, he began to ask her what was going on…

“Excuse me, but you seem to be lost.” The Aielman sitting beside Rand spoke up.

“Yes, I am.” Rand turned his eyes to him. An unusual Aiel to have hair that dark and to not be wearing their usual garb. He also spied a sword under the man’s plain Andorean coat. So, not an Aiel then.

“Well, I’m Phoenix. If anyone can help you, I can,” he smiled.

“Well, firstly, where am I? I woke up in a forest with a pack of wolves around me. They finally left me alone after I…scared them off and I came up a hill to this place.”

“Oh.” Phoenix laughed. “You’re in character lost. Well, tell me more about your character and I’ll play along.”

Rand frowned. This was getting stranger and stranger by the moment. Had he finally gone mad? Surely it wasn’t like this… Irritated, he decided to get some answers fast. “My name is Rand al’Thor, the Dragon Reborn, and you will answer my questions,” he spoke calmly as he embraced the Source and placed his hand on his sword.

Phoenix’s eyes narrowed. “There is only one and that is me. I try to be forgiving with new members, but that is the one thing I will not stand.”

“You?!” Rand barked with laughter. “I don’t know what Aes Sedai told you that, but I am the real Dragon. I’m the one with Lews Therin in his head. I’m the one who will save us from the Shadow. I am the one that brings change.”

Phoenix smiled, amused. “You won’t give this up, will you?” The woman behind the bar smiled. “Fine, play the fool if you want to. Don’t blame me if no one takes you seriously online.” He turned back to his drink.

“What is this online that you’re talking about? Is it something to do with threads?” Rand asked the woman.

The woman laughed. “I suppose so.”

Tired of all this mocking, Rand got up. Insane dream or not, he was leaving this place.

“Hey, you forgot to pay me for the drink!” The woman shouted as the door closed. “Poor kid,” she said to Phoenix. “You sure was hard on him.”

Phoenix shrugged. “It was his fault. Play with fire and you get burned. Pretty good role playing though,” he added.

“Yeah. I hope he stays on.”

Phoenix nodded. “Now, about that webring…”

“Alright,” Matalina put down her glass. “We need a plan to get Warders’ more prominent in the Dragonmount community. I mean, most of us are names without faces, titles added to Aes Sedai’s posts!”

‘Hear, hear!’ rumbled through the room.

“We need participation! From now on, if you don’t make a post once a month, you’re dead!” Silence.

“Yeah, chew on that! I’m tired of being the only warder around on a regular basis! Excepting Joe, Ben, Lone Wolf, Darkseid,” The list continued on for a few minutes. “And furthermore,”

A new warder ran into the chatroom. “Matalina! Matalina!” he panted.

“Yes. What is it?” she muttered irritatably. “I was just getting to the good part…”

“There’s a man kicking the **blank** out of all the warders on the Training Grounds! I mean, he must be a Jedi Master! Please, come quickly!”

Matalina spoke sharply. “That’s enough of the bad language! No visitations with your Aes Sedai for a week!” The warder pouted. She turned to the audience. “That’s another thing I have to address to you…”

Joe Gaidin smiled and ran a hand along his blade. “Let me take care of this trouble. I like killing warders.” His smile became quite villianous.

“Um, sure, Joe. Just don’t scare the newbies.” Joe bowed and hurried to the field eagerly. Matalina sighed. Why did the Amyrlin’s Warder have to be an action hero? The Amyrlin’s Warder was supposed to stay in the Tower pushing paper or be out in the world alone. That’s what the books explicitly said. Double sigh. The never-ending RP battle between the purists and the creativists.

“Excuse me,” a man wearing the Malkieri hadori and Warder cloak stood beside her. She jumped; she hadn’t felt or seen anyone there. “Yes?” she spoke with a wavery voice.

“I’m looking for an Aes Sedai by the name of Nynaeve. Short, long braid, has a temper. Have you seen her?” His ice-cold blue eyes bore into her.

“Nyn? Nope, not today, but I’d look around just in case.” His eyes seemed to have tightened when she had said Nyn’s name.

“Thank you.” He bowed and left. Matalina smiled. Now that was a model Warder! She need more like him around! Ignoring the shouts outside, she resumed her speech for the Head Warder Association Meeting regarding new laws. “And furthermore, there is to be no more on-duty drinking! People are confusing us with the Black Tower now!” The groans and arguments started as she finished. Light, it was hard being a Warder!

“Kisses?” Mat pouted at Alanna as he loaded the cart.

“Nope, not yet,” Alanna spoke automatically. “After you’re done.” She ignored his muttering on when that would be. He should have known that Green Sisters were not to be trusted. Would you trust a Mint Tea addict with a Tinker’s love for exotic nighties?

“Finished.” Mat wiped the sweat off his forehead with his arm. “Now?”

“Ew,” she wrinkled her nose. “I’m not going near a man when he smells that gross!”

“Fine! I’ll take a bloody bath!”

“Watch your tongue!” She glared at him, then delicately sashayed up to him and smiled. “Now Mat, that pudding is very important to me. I would reward you handsomely if you could take it to the Waste. Many Aiel are starving there. You might prevent a war. Think of the glory.” She ended with Domani pose number 1010. That one always worked.

Mat smiled. “Okay, sugar plum. Just give me a moment to clean up.” He touched her nose.

She giggled as he watched him leave for the public bathing room. This would be her ultimate conquest yet!

Young Bull! Dawndancer sounded astonished. How is it? Let me tell Darksmoon and the other brothers and sisters about you!

Darksmoon… That was a strange name for a wolf. A very forboding name.

Here, here! Dawndancer leaped out of the trees to playfully tackle him. Perrin laughed as he lay on the ground and played with her, nipping her neck. Follow me! Dawndancer wagged her tail as she lead him deeper into the forest.

Finally the forest opened up into a large glade, where fires and many people and wolves were lounging. Perrin was shocked. Yellow eyes looked back at his.

Come. Dawndancer seemed impatient. We must see Darksmoon first!

Okay, he told her as he followed, still amazed to see so many and no Aes Sedai swooping down to try to gentle them or take them to the Tower.

Finally, they came to a man with broad shoulders and an authoritive manner, talking with some others. He was dressed in simple farm clothes, not unlike those that Perrin had worn until he had met Faile. New clothes seemed to have appeared as if by the One Power in his closet when he had married Faile. At last, the man called Darksmoon turned to him.

“Young Bull?” Darksmoon sounded skeptical. That was impossible. All wolves knew each other’s names; it was impossible to lie about your name. “No offense meant, but that is a name that I have heard before.”

“Ah. Well, what have you heard of me?” Perrin prepared a quick explanation for the Whitecloak incidents. He did not entirely trust this man yet.

“Oh, a little of this and that. Rumours more than facts. Why don’t I give you a tour of the camp as we talk?” Perrin allowed himself to be lead away.

When they were alone, Darksmoon spoke. “Look, I don’t want any trouble in the Org. I have no problem with your name, but some of the brothers and sisters might take offense, if you get what I mean.”

Perrin thought he understood. “You want me to leave?” he asked politely.

“No, not exactly. Just change your name.” Darksmoon eyes glistened with truth.

“You know that is impossible. I will leave, if you can point me to the road.”

“There’s an Aes Sedai staying among us, Yveva Sedai. She’ll take you to the White Tower if you want to.”

“Okay.” Light, this was strange. Wolves changing names and an Aes Sedai staying with Wolfbrothers?! It was time to go to the Tower and get some answers.

“Silver Serpent,” Darksmoon called. “Please direct Young Bull here to Yveva. He would like to accompany her on her trip home.”

As he followed Silver Serpent to Yveva Sedai, Perrin could not shake off the feeling that something was seriously wrong.

“Get your hands off me, right now!” Nynaeve slapped the black-clothed man. Come to think of it, all the man here were wearing black.

He touched his cheek. “Now, there’s no need to get feisty! Just let go of the Source and we’ll take you to an Asha’man on duty to report you in. It’s our rules.” Another man nodded. “See? Please?” The man half-begged her.

“Okay,” she grumbled. “I just want you to know that I think this is stupid and quite unnecessary! Now take me to your superior, man!”

“If you’ll release the Source…”

“What’s going on here?!” boomed a tall man, a jug of some strong drink in his hand.

“Oh, Asha’man Hawkwing!” The man saluted him hand to heart. “This woman isn’t obeying the rules for visitors from the Tower!”

“Isn’t she?” The man looked down at her. She gulped. Maybe she should have released saidar, regardless of the impossibility of a man knowing that she was holding it. “Well, she doesn’t look that dangerous to me. Let her in.”

“But, sir! She’s still…”

Hawkwing glared at the man. “Did I not just give you an order, Soldier?”

“Yes, Asha’man Hawkwing.” The man saluted, blushing and looking straight ahead.

“Good. Dismissed, Soldier.”

Hawkwing gestured for Nynaeve to follow him. Seeing no other alternative, she followed.

“I apologize for that. We are trying to have a better media image, but change is hard.” He tipped back the jug and swallowed. “You want some?” He offered the jug to her.

She sniffed it carefully. If it tasted as bad as it stunk… Supressing a sigh, she chugged. Her eyes bulged. “Blood and Bloody Ashes!” she whimpered when she could finally speak.

He slapped her back. “Good, no? Here, let me have a drink.” He snatched the jug and drank. “Ah. So what’s your name?”

“Nynaeve,” she smiled. It was hard keeping her usual self-control. “I’m from Edmond’s Field and I’m an Aes Sedai of the Tower!”

“You don’t say, Nyna. What Ajah?” He passed the jug back to her.

“Yellow, of course. I love Healing.” There. That stupid smile again! She drank and passed it back.

“Hmm. Yes. Looking for a Warder?”

Nynaeve thought for a moment. “Yeah, yeah, I am. A big and strong one!”

Hawkwing winked. “Smart and multi-talented as well?”

Nynaeve grinned. “Yeah.”

Hawkwing put an arm around her shoulders. “Then I know some boys who would make wonderful Warders. Best to bond them fast, before Phoenix outlaws Asha’man bonding again! Would you like to try before buying?” he winked again. “Greens do that often.”

“Of course, Master Hawkwing. I am a farmgirl.” Light, why did that sound strange?

Hawkwing laughed. “Come, come. You can try as many as you want until you find the perfect fit for your lifestyle.”

Grinning, Nynaeve let him lead her into what appeared to be a tavern. This was going to be so much fun!

Mat whispered in Nymphia’s ear. “Just one lil’ Gateway and I’ll be finished, ready to start my training as a Warder.”

Nym giggled and fanned herself. “One Gateway and you’ll be mine forever?”

He kissed her fingers. “One Gateway and you’ll make me the happiest man in the world,” he winked. Yes, and far from these Aes Sedai!

Nym giggled some more. “Okay.” She lazily moved her fingers and a Gateway slowly spun out, leading to a desert landscape. Mat smiled and climbed into the driver’s spot on the wagon. Leading the horses through the Gateway, he wiped off sweat. Blood and Bloody Ashes! Aes Sedai would be the death of him; he was certain.

“Excuse me,” the tall man interupted the Aes Sedai watching the Warders on the Practice Field. “Have you seen this woman?” He held up a sketch for the woman to see. It was a rather plain and simple drawing. She studied it. “Nope. Haven’t seen her.” She turned back to her hunting.

Lan sighed. “Okay. Thanks.” He faded into the crowd again.

Rand cautiously crawled out of the bush. That had been close. Two Novices had been walking up the road, one with a patch eye. If they had seen him… If they had known… So many ‘if’s’ and so little time. Dusting himself off, he continued his journey. He feared the White Tower, feared the knowing glances of the Amyrlin and Verin with her bird-like eyes, seeing him only as a tool to be used. Most of all, he feared the Red Ajah. All Aes Sedai were to be feared, yet the Reds were the worst.

Finally, he saw it. His breath caught. It was just like that dream he had had on Winternight so long ago. When Lan and Moiraine had saved his village and his friends from the Trollocs. Saved us for what? he wondered.

The towers burned in the setting sun and bronzy gold glistened on gates. Guards stood straight as they did in the Borderlands. Here was the Watch kept.

Rand entered the city without raising any alarm, just a farmboy seeing a city, seeking shelter for the night. Shelter he did seek, but not in one of the many inns of Tar Valon. His footsteps led him closer and closer to destiny. A shiver made all the hairs on his neck stand up as he crossed into the Tower’s Grounds. He remembered the Fade’s words. ‘This is your destiny. We have been waiting.’

Fear was useless. Rand had a duty to do. He hardened his face and began the slow climb to the the top of the Tower. He dared not touch saidin here. Too near, too close. His breathing became laboured as he climbed the pale stairs. The walls seemed closer… thicker… No! You will not catch me, the Lord of the Morning! Rand blocked Lews Therin’s muttering and the panic did seem to stop as well.

Finally, the stairs ended. Rand smiled. Now to show Siuan who was in charge here! Preparing his speech to her, he opened the door and stepped into the Keeper’s Office. Leane’s eyes had made him stammer in Fal Dara. He vowed that he would not let her see him flustered again.

A woman looked up from papers. “Yes?” she inquired. “You are to see the Amyrlin?” She was wearing the stole and definitely not Leane or her successor; what was her name? That White Sister.

“Yes. I am Rand al’Thor.”

“Okay, Rand. Just wait here.” She got up and entered the next room, the Amyrlin’s Study. Silence. Then she returned. “Come on in. She’ll see you now.”

Giving the Keeper a nod, he entered, preparing himself for the unexpected… “Egwene! What under the Light are you doing?!”

Egwene looked up from a dish in front of her. “Nothing.” She hid the dish behind her.

He smiled. “Egwene, remember what did Nynaeve do to you when you lied about eating your greens?”

“Yes,” she said warily.

“So give me some or I’ll tell the Amyrlin you’re wearing her stole.”

“She knows.” She put a spoon of whatever was in the bowl in her mouth. He glared at him and she giggled. “It’s pudding!” She showed the bowl of a brown semi-liquid to him. “Try some! It’s good!”

Dipping a finger in, he tried it. “Hmm… Not bad. I remember Avi telling me about a Shara dessert called chocolate. This must be it.”

Egwene nodded. “Yes. It’s chocolate pudding. As for why I’m here, the Amyrlin needed a replacement for awhile, so she called for me.” She grinned and licked the spoon.

Rand frowned. “Are you sure? Siuan’s not the type of woman who…” Abruptly, he channeled Air and Spirit at her. “There,” he spoke in tones of great satisfaction. “Got you now, Graendal. Thought I wouldn’t recognize pudding, did you? Wrong, **blank**. I wasn’t named Tamyrlin for nothing.”

Egwene scowled and said nothing. Of course, with Air surrounding her, she had no choice.

Rand smiled, then shook his head suddenly. He seemed to be arguing with himself. Luckily, at that point of time, Kathana came in and mobbed Rand all by herself.

“Raaaaannnddd! I love you!” She threw her arms around him.

“Wha… Who are you? Where am I?”

Kathana smiled. “In the White Tower of an intersecting world called Dragonmount that really doesn’t exist in the Real World except as a bunch of words on a screen.”

Rand took a moment to take that in. “Okay. Lews says that he’s heard of that before.” He tilted his head, obviously listening. “Ah, I see. We’re characters in a book in your world. Legends of a time of myth.” Rand frowned. “You people created Dragonmount to act like us?! Are you people insane? Don’t you have things to do in your own world?”

Kathana hung her head guiltily. “Well, it’s hard to explain. I guess Dragonmount does become a part of our world to us players anyway.”

“So that Phoenix guy is me in this world?” He made a face. “I wouldn’t want to be me. I’d want to be Jain Farstrider and travel the world having adventures,” he smiled. “Definitely not channeling and going mad.”

“Yeah, well, men don’t go insane here. They just get bonded, dear.” She offered an arm. “Now let Egwene go, sweetie and we’ll talk as we walk.”

Rand did as ordered, still amused with this imaginary world.

Yveva handed a book to Perrin to add to the pile. “And this is Shanoutsho’s ‘Dialogue Between Elders’. The Mother will want that,” she spoke as she searched the shelves for more books. He patiently waited for the next book. At least Brown Sisters were familiar.

“Oh, there’s the Mother now.” She gently marked her place on the shelf. “Greetings, Mother. I was chosing some books for the Brown Ajah Book of the Month™ Club. How many I help you?”

Perrin narrowed his eyes. The Amyrlin Seat had ink smudges on her face?

Kathana picked up the book. “Shanoutsho. A good choice. I am actually more interested in your new companion,” she smiled slightly.

“Oh, him? His name is Perrin, but the Wolfbrothers call him Young Bull. He’s a wonderful library helper,” she smiled up to him.

“Really? Well, I need to send Perrin back. He doesn’t belong here.”

Yveva tilted her head. “Why ever not?” It was so hard to find suitable library helpers.

Kathana touched her arm. “I’m sorry, Yveva, but sometimes when you love someone, you have to let them go.”

Yveva nodded and motioned for Perrin to join Kathana. He obeyed her, knowing that resistance was useless against Aes Sedai, especially the Amyrlin Seat herself. The glow in Kathana’s eyes told him that.

“Good boy,” she patted his shoulder. “Come on, we have to find your other friends.”

Perrin trotted obediently after Kathana as she glided out of the library, leaving Yveva wiping the tears in her eyes.

“Thanks Soraya.” He stared deeply into her eyes. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

Her mouth stayed open, charmed by his wink and warm voice. “Oh, Mat,” she heard herself say.

Pressing a necklace into her hand, he smiled and got up off the couch. “Just one lil’ trip to the White Tower and everything will be fine. I promise.”

“Of course.” Hastily, she made a Gateway. Mat grinned and put on his hat. “Good night, Soraya.”

Knowing that he would probably never return, she decided to leave her mark on this heart thob. “Come here, Mat…” Snaking her arms around his shoulders, she made sure that he would remember her forever…

“Psst. Darkseid, I need help.” Hawkwing whispered sharply.

“What?” Darkseid turned to be Hawkwing helping a very giddy woman to walk upright. “Oh Light! Not another drunk Aes Sedai. Honestly, you guys have got to stop them from this,” he frowned.

Hawkwing shrugged. “It was an accident. She grabbed my jug of whiskey before I could stop her.”

He glared at the Asha’man. “You owe me.” Taking a packet out of his pocket, he carefully measured out the leaves. “Put these with some hot water and give it to her. These much will fix Lannie after a sleepover.”

Saluting, Hawkwing made up the remedy as Darkseid (having a lot of experience) held the stumbling Aes Sedai upright. She kept making sexual comments, some which were even new to his ears.

“There you go. Drink up, Nyn!” Hawkwing semi-forced the drink down her throat. She naturally struggled, then gasped, “Oh Blood and Bloody Ashes!” and ran down the hall.

Darkseid and Hawkwing watched, both stunned. That had never happened before. Sharing a glance, they took off after her.

“Have you seen this woman?” Lan pulled over the one-eyed Novice.

“Nope, but I do feel a Foretelling coming on! Oh Light! Oh Bloody Blood Ashes!” With a wail, the Novice took off. Shaking his head, he continued on. Then suddenly, he saw her. “Nynaeve! Nynaeve al’Meara, get over here!”

With a glance at him, her eyes widened and she seemed to bite back a wail. “Oh Lan! Nooo!” She ran off in another direction with two men following her.

Racing after her, he turned the corner. If she was in any danger, no matter the cost… He skidded to a stop. Nynaeve and the men were paused in front of a group of people. His eyes narrowed. Some members of that group looked very familiar.

“Lan! You’re here too? Now all we need to find is Mat,” Rand called down to him.

Lan decided to ask questions later. Apparently all was well fo the moment. Of course, he didn’t lessen his guard. Nynaeve was avoiding his eyes. Well, as the Kandori said, ‘Troubles make for sweet making up.’

“Did someone say my name?” Mat appeared, tucking in his shirt. “I was… delayed by a Green Sister.” All the men suppressed smiles as Egwene and Nynaeve glared at Mat.

“As long as you’re here now.” Rand said calmly.

“Right.” Kathana clasps her hands. “Let’s get to business. We’re ready to open the Gateway using this ter’angreal.” She held up a book-shaped piece of heartstone with the Wheel engraved on it, as well as some words that Lan could not read. Probably some title in the Old Tongue.

“Wait!” A man appeared behind Lan. His sword was out before the sound had died down.

The man was a tall man with dark red hair. An Aiel. Maybe he should out sword, no matter that he was in the Tower.

“I finally figured it out, Kathana! That’s the real Rand!” He pointed at Rand. The man smiled embarassed. “I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you. I mean, you’re not supposed to be in Dragonmount and I… Oh man, you so cool!” The man gushed and clutched pen and paper. “Can I have your autograph? I bet even RJ himself doesn’t have that.”

Rand grinned, really amused. “Of course, Phoenix. It’s no problem; I would think that any man who claimed to be me would be a False Dragon too.” He signed the paper with a flourish. “There. Is there anything else I can do for you? This Dragonmount place is an excellent imitation of our world, I must say.”

Phoenix’s eyes widened. “Really?! That’s… nice. Um, I have so many questions. Um, so which of the girls are you going to marry first?” Rand blushed, but continued to stare at Phoenix. “Well, you are going to marry at least one of them. What’s Avi like? Is Elayne Ilyena Reborn? Is Min better than Avi? Do you think you’re going to face Moridin at the Last Battle? Was my ending theory right?”

All the Randlanders goggled at the onslaughter. Rand cleared his throat. “I have no idea. No comment. Avi is sweet and a great woman. No, not really. She lacks Ilyena’s ability to interogate. No comment. Moridin who? I have no clue.”

Phoenix grinned like a fool. “I knew I was right.” He winked at Rand. “All the right answers. I would say exactly that if I was you. Why have one when you can have three at once, you cunning devil you.” He slapped Rand’s back. “Have a great time, Rand. Do what I would do with the girls.” Finally breaking to the combined glares of Nynaeve, Egwene and Kathana, Phoenix stepped away from Rand and was quiet, though still rolling in the joy of meeting Rand IROL (In Real Online Life).

Rand smiled, more than a little off balance. “Shall we, Kathana?”

Kathana turned off her glare. “Okay. Let me point this ter’angreal thingy straight. Okay, in you go, dears!”

A Gateway slowly plopped into being with dark lines running across it horizonally.

“Cool,” Mat commented.

“Yes, very,” Egwene spoke as she studied the flows.

“Let’s go gang,” Rand moved towards the Gateway. “We have a lot of work ahead to do. Move out!”

Entering the Gateway one by one, they left the World of Dragonmount for the World of Randland. Kathana sighed as the Gateway winked out. “There goes my last batch of chocolate pudding. Alanna!”

Immediately, Alanna hurried in. “Yes, Mother?” she said breathlessly. Kathana noticed that she was wearing a bunny suit, but decided to ignore it. “I am out of pudding. Make me some more,” she commanded.

Alanna sighed. “Very well, Mother. Have you seen a boy named Mat today, Mother?”

“Yes, Daughter. I sent him back to his own world, dear.”

“Drats, Mother.” She made a face. “I was having fun using him.”

An eyebrow rose. “Really? He was playing with Nymphia and Soraya as well.”

“What? A man beat me at my own game? The nerve! I must go to the Warder’s Field and practice some more!”

“After making my pudding, you mean!”

“Oh, yes, Mother.” She nodded and scurried to the kitchens. Kathana smiled. At least things would be getting back to normal. Oh, <b>they</b> were still here. Best to send them along.

Phoenix giggled at the signature. “I can’t believe this! I have to show Glenn and Robert and that Shadowkiller guy at PoP… I have to! Another reason why Dragonmount is the best Wheel of Time site there is!” With that statement of fact, he ran off.

Hawkwing pulled Darkseid aside. “You know that Nynaeve bird?”

“Yeah, the braided, drunken wonder.”

Hawkwing reached into his coat pocket. “Well, me and the boys took some pictures…” He handed a handful of pictures to Darkseid.

Darkseid’s eye bugged out as he saw the polaroids. “Oh Light! Oh Bloody Buttered Socks! Oh Light!” he muttered feverishly and stuffed the photos back into Hawkwing’s coat. “Here, you take them. Lannie would kill me if she knew I had seen another woman’s…”

“Really? Then I take she doesn’t know about…”

Darkseid’s eyes flashed. “No. And she will not.”

Hawkwing gave him a puzzled look. “What about Fires_Child then? Surely, you must have. I mean, she is your wife!”

Darkseid spoke with a tightened voice. “As my friend, I ask that you stop pursuing that line of questioning.”

Hawkwing frowned. “S’okay. But as your friend, I’m worried when a man…”

Their conversation faded as they left down the hall.

Kathana gave a relieved sigh. It had been a most unusual day, but now everything was back to normal and no furniture broken… Smash! The sound of a vase.

“Where’s Mat? I know you were talking with him, Soraya. Don’t even try to elude the truth this time.”

“Why should I lie, Nymphia? I have nothing to hide. Mat is mine, as he wanted to be. He told me so.”

“Excuse me?! Mat told me that I was the only woman for him to be bonded to. I had him right in the palm of my hand!”

“Puhleez! You couldn’t land a man if you were the most beautifuliest woman…”

Kathana felt it was time. “Excuse me, but did I hear a vase break?”

Two gasps simultaniously. “No, Mother.” Soraya called.

“It was possibly a Novice dropping a cup. No need to worry, Mother. I’ll see to it myself.” Nymphia gathered her skirts and ran off rather quickly for an Aes Sedai.

“I’ll help. Wait, Nym!” Soraya called and hurried after the other Green.

Kathana smiled. A most unusual day. Joe felt like he had been injured, except that was impossible; he was one of the best, if not the best of the best. No one thrashed Joe in the Yard. She walked to the Yard, knowing that if it had been life-threatening, he would have been dead by now anyway. That was excellent Brown logic there.

The Yard was littered with Aes Sedai Healing their warders, lucky Greens Healing possible warders. Joe saw Kathana first and ran up to her wearing a newly acquired black eye. “Kathana! You would never believe the swordskill of the man who had past through her looking for some babe named Nynaeve! He must have been a veteran Jedi Knight player!” He winced as Kathana touched his black eye.

“No, that was Lan,” she told him absently as she Healed.

“What? You mean the sun-bathing, French Lan?”

“No, the real Randland Lan. Close your mouth. That’s how you choke on flies.”

“But… How?” he wailed. “I should have done a sketch! The WoT Alliance of Artists will kill me! Dragonluv is going to give me the beats! Not to mention Darkhound, Waffleboy, Lews Therin…” He rambled on. Kathana slapped him.

“Stop it! That gives me the creeps when you start talking like a WoT artist instead of a warder!”

He rubbed his cheek. “Sorry. It’s a bad habit.”

“Anyway, he’s gone now. Back to wherever they had come from.”

“Oh.” Joe pouted a little, then brighted. “May I make a sketch now? I think I can remember how he looked before I was knocked unconscious.”

She smiled. “That’s okay. Dismissed.” He bowed and ran off towards his rooms.

Watching him leave, she wondered just what the Randland people had been doing before all of this had happened.

“Rand, pass me the sunscreen.”

“Lazy chit,” Rand muttered as he reached down into Egwene’s beach bag. “You’re not the Amyrlin yet.”

Raising an eyebrow, Egwene said nothing, but motioned for him to rub it on her back as she read over the script for next week’s episode. He obeyed, reluctantly. “I don’t know why I always listen to you. I mean, I’m the star of the show. It should be the other way around, you playing second fiddle to me.”

“Rand, shut up and put it on my shoulders. You have all the best lines. I don’t. I just play the silly Compelled idiot.”

“I know, I know, but still…”

“Heya Rand,” Nynaeve walked up to them holding a beach ball and wearing her itsy-bitsy black bikini. “Perrin, Lan and I are going to play volley-ball. Wanna join?” she winked seductively at him.

He grinned back. “Um, I guess so.” He looked to Egwene. She made a shooing motion. “Go, go! I’ve just put on sunscreen; if I play now, I’ll have sand stuck in God only knows where!”

They all laughed. “So true, Egwene.” Nynaeve smiled. “Come, Rand. Perrin and Lan are waiting!”

“Okay, okay! Just let me get my shoes on!”

“Why do you need shoes for?” She wiggled her bare toes. “They’ll only trip you up.”

He glared at her. “I don’t want to get black feet from the parking lot. These feet are worth money.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Really? And these are not?” She gestured towards her bikini top. Rand blushed. “I hate it when you two do that. I swear you’re all in a conspiracy to make me blush 24-7,” he complained.

“Of course we are,” Nynaeve smiled sweetly. “Now move your ass.”

Muttering about the general attitudes of women, Rand finally got his shoes on and join Perrin and Lan, both muscular and well-tanned, for a game of volley-ball. Mat eventually caught up to them, two ladies generously endowned by both Nature and Man by his side. Egwene also came down to the beach, making the game a wild three-on-three with two spectators rooting for Mat. Such was the life for the main cast members of the #1 soap opera in the world, ‘As The Wheel Turns’.

~The End~

“Hmmm… One from Blackthorne… Let’s see… What?! She’s leaving for the summer?! She can’t!! She’s too addicted to the ‘Net! It would be like eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the peanut butter… Hmmm…”

He pauses, fingering his chin. “Somehow, that doesn’t sound right. Then again, this whole situation is so crazy and unrealistic that analogy perhaps does work… Hmmm… I’ll have to ask Sera about that.” He reaches for the ever-present Post-it notes by the computer and writes down to discuss that, along with a reminder to leave the computer to fix some dinner, maybe some nachos and a Pepsi. Yeah, that sounds good.

A sound of a door opening breaks his careful and uncluttered early morning thinking. Quickly he clicks on his AIM to check who’s on first. It’s Blackie!!! He sends her greetings and a request for an explanation of why she was leaving for the summer. Was it the expense of a provider or time or her parents or hardware or… Perish the thought, but had she been infected with that virus and had everything on her computer wiped out? He mentally cringed at the loss of all those songs and Final Fantasy video clips. Sitting back in his chair, he awaited a reply and some information from one of his new net friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blackthorne grinned her usual *grin*. It was good to be home. Well, home and online, to be technical. Opening AIM and Icq and her various email programs, she cringed at the amount of messages, especially old and very outdated ones reappearing again.

Click. Another mass messages. Click. Another URL forward. Click. She wished that Icq had a vacation function or maybe a screening system for mass messages and URL forward. Oh, there was one from Jon’atha. Too bad she had just missed him the last time she was online; he sounded a little… frantic. Well, she was sure that he could take care of DM during the summer and still stay sane. After all, DM would surely get slower while the college kids were all away from campus.

Finally done the emails. She looked at her watch. Wow, already time to clock out for the day. With a sigh, she closed down the connection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mmmmm…. Hawaii… He suddenly woke up. Oh my gosh! It was 2 o’clock! He had been asleep for 10 minutes! He blushed and rubbed his red-rimmed eyes. He prayed that no one had noticed. Well, maybe not. Some of his co-workers grinned at him as he got up and walked down the hall to get a Mars bar. He shook some hair out of face. He hadn’t had much free time lately. All of his spare time was for DM, fixing the message boards and re-working some of the pages.

Pausing, he looked out a window. It seemed ages since he had last seen the sky. Today it was a deep blue, not a cloud drifting on the canopy of the world. He sighed. He had to get away from the computers soon. But there was so much work to do…

Mentally grimacing, he returned to his seat, prize in hand. Somehow, a Pepsi had come along with the chocolate bar. He was beginning to suspect that he was developing a Pepsi addiction. Idly typing as he munched, he checked his Socks email. Oh, email from Yveva. That was nice. He deleted the Xoom emails without opening them. Another email? From Blackthorne? But I thought… He opened it as he opened the can of pop.

He paused after reading the message about three times; his attention span was really short lately. Should he reply to her email here or at home, where he could think more clearly? No, at home would be best. Besides, he was 10 minutes behind on work. He made a Post-it note to write to Blackie.

Stretching, he absently scratched his stomach and forced himself to look at his work. Now, what was the code for that bit again? Was it… ? No, that was… Mmmm…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yveva Sedai, or rather the One known as Yveva Sedai tried to not get angry. She had sent out the email to Everyone@dragonmount.zzn.com and not a single person had replied yet. Light, it *was* at least an hour ago! Oh wait, Jon’atha had replied! She stifled a giggle and opened it with eager haste. Oh yes! He had sent his biography too! A giggle slipped out as she added his bio to the page. There. That made twenty now. Twenty out of 400+ wasn’t that bad and there had to be some other people sending their bios in.

She made a sighing, tisk noise. It was all Phoenix’s fault. He *told* her that she could make a biography page for their characters at DM, she *humbled* herself to make one and now she had *deserted* her without doing one promo for the site! It was so… unfair.

What was Jon’atha’s bio like anyway? She scanned the page. There were so many spelling errors. She couldn’t resist the temptation. She opened the page and starting to proof the bio. She was more than a little Brown in real life.

As she progressed, a frown appeared. How could he misspell ‘people’? Yet there it was, peepel. She was certain that he had attended college. He had been under stress lately, but didn’t he have Ben to help him at DM? Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen him for the longest time. Not since his exams at least.

With that thought, she quickly ran off a quick email to Ben. If he was helping out at DM during the summer, it was only logical that he should have internet access at home. Logical? Light, she was becoming a White! She had to return to Canada soon. America was beginning to taint her with cool and calm reasoning. Soon she would value her computer over her books. Now that was a purely evil thought, she shivered.

At least she would get to visit Toronto later this year and Sam d’ma Shadar/Anakin Cawthon/ Andrew and maybe go to Kingston and visit Blackthorne/ Rose_Crimsonthorne/ What-was-her-name-again? Yeah. She smiled. That would be great.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He listened for the slightest sound. Nope, nothing. Not a sound. He grinned. Still, he tip-toed across the floor and down the stairs to the computer. He really didn’t have to tip-toe; he was pretty sure that he was home alone, but he had a reputation as the head of Warders to live up to.

With Mission Impossible/Improbable skills, he carefully started up the computer, crawling onto the chair as well as one of such long leggishness and armishness could. Good. Excellent. The screen flickered as he started up the connection. Wow, so many ‘where are you?’ emails. Cool. He grinned. He then sighed and made a wish that his parents would let him use the computer more often. He replied with a mass message of ‘I am well’ and went onto the complaint emails. He made a second wish: for Phoenix to reappear and demand all of his duties back, but Ben had little hope in that wish coming true.

It seemed seconds later when he heard the sound of a car driving up the driveway. With his Warder-enhanced abilities, he closed all programs, connections, ran into the kitchen and swept the floor, all before the door opened. He grinned as he said hello and made a third wish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phoenix, the Dragon Reborn and all, cracked his fingers. He hid a smile as a row of people looked up and frowned at him, then returned to their work. It was great working here, but sometimes he wished… Nah, he needed a break. Besides, new custom license plates would be expensive.

He idly wondered how Jon’atha and Ben were doing at DM. Probably quite well, he thought realistically. But there was a part of him that secretly hoped/thought/believed that DM would wither/decay/die without him to carefully tend it. After all, only a Creator could truly understand his creation. He frowned and touched his head. Those two thoughts had seemed to come from two parts of his mind. Like… Oh, never mind. He sensed his boss coming in and quickly took a posture that made it look like he was actually working. They don’t make bosses like they used to, he cackled. Shut up Loony Perrin. The other voice laughed harder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blackthorne finally found the time to go visit DM and read the boards. Except it looked like the boards were… down again. Going to the Bravenet board (she was irritated by the fact that the Bravenet board was working fine; the reason why DM wasn’t using it anymore), she read that instead. Lots of new things once by-passing the usual complaints. New bonds, new people, new silly stories (why didn’t no one tell me?!) and spiders. Spiders?! She quickly read that thread. Hmmm… Looks like Moggy was stepping out of line with the Dark One on vacation with the other Incarnies.

She made a couple of replies and made a mental reminder to ask Jon’atha or Ben about all this chaos. There were some errors regarding her email addy as well. She looked at the clock. Almost time for Jon’atha to come online. Hand posed on his name, she waited like a Green in the Warder Yard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lanfir made a face. No one she liked to talk to was online. Sathy was online, but he was the one who had given her advice to cut her hair short. She played with a piece by her ear. Still, the green dye was a good idea, she smiled.

Icq blinked and Nym was online! She quickly typed her greetings, although she wondered why she was online. Nym only ever talked with her and joined mass chats when on icq. Her computer ‘oh-oh-ed’ and the reply only had two words, but they were such powerful words.

Mint tea.

Lannie overpowered the shock and managed with some dignity to ask where, how much and when we are going to buy some. Nym within seconds gave her directions and price estimates. It was a little expensive, but at least it was legit and easier than going into the pub and stealing some bags.

Turning her Icq to ‘away’, she wrote a simple yet clear message.

‘Gone to buy mint tea. Be back tomorrow or whenever. Leave a message and I’ll answer you eventually. Love Lanfir. DB, stop laughing at me. You too Darkseid. Good thing Ash is better trained. What? You too? Bah, at least Fremen isn’t. Stop tickling me! Argh! DB, stop it! I have work to do! I have a very important mission to undertake with Nym… Oh my… I suppose it can wait an hour or two or three…’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, Jon’atha was online. He was late.

“Hi.” She knew that would get his attention.

“Blackie?! Hello!” She could feel the smile from California. She grinned.

“So what’s up at DM? The boards especially. Is that your work?” She added a smile so it wouldn’t sound like she was criticizing him.

“No. Phoenix wanted to see the new things that I added and the changes. He accidently…” There was no need to finish that sentence. She could hear his weariness.

“Oh no… He didn’t…?! I mean, he’s got to be smarter than that. He knows which buttons you shouldn’t push.”

“Yeah, well, people make mistakes. We’re working hard to get them back up, but it’s hard. I only have so much time.” A space. “Am I being a whiner?”

She smiled. “Nope. Just a tired guy. You need a break from computers. Why don’t you go out to a fast food place for dinner? You could work on those letters that you owe.”

He smiled. “That sounds great. Yes, I think I’ll do that. Maybe I’ll write a little. I haven’t done that in a *very* long time.”

“Good. I worry for you. Too much work kills. Take it from an expert.” She added a grin.

Laughter. “So how are you and…”

Both were talking like old friends, the problem of DM’s boards forgotten. For now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phoenix warily went online to check his email, dreading email from Jon’atha. He would kill him. Jon’atha had told him repeatedly that he wasn’t going to kill him, but Phoenix knew. He had played enough RPGs to know when someone wanted your blood. Even Loony Perrin agreed with him on that point.

There was no email from Jon’atha. That worried him more; did he not want his opinion regarding how the boards should look like? Was Connor helping him? The evidence seemed to be amounting for Connor being a Darkfriend, a Black Brother to be exact. Or he could be one of the Forsaken. He should ask one of the Incarnies or Jon’atha or Ben about that. Wait a minute! DM was *his* site! He could check it himself! Well, he really didn’t have to. He already had all the evidence needed. Connor had once let something slip about a ‘duel’ in that he should have thought of ‘tossing a rock earlier’. That definitely made Connor’s true identity as Dem. There was no question.

Without moving his eyes from the screen, he ordered the Aes Sedai at his feet to make a note for him to email Demmy, demanding that he come clean. She didn’t answer. Maarin hadn’t talked in a long time. He guessed that Aes Sedai yoga took a lot of concentration. He envied how still she could be when meditating.

When had he been last to DM? Ah yes, when he was checking out the secrets that traitor he had once called his friend had been installing on *his* server. Well, one button had fixed all that. Now only he had the magic password to heal DM. He smiled, remembering the Breaking. Now that had been great. All of DM had been forced to kneel and accept him as the Dragon Reborn as they signed up. No one read the little, invisible print at the bottom of the forms.

He yawned. Protecting the world was tiring. Where’s the pizza? Loony Perrin asked urgently. I’m hungry. “Not here, Loony Perrin. The battle never ends.” You sure? “Yeah, so shut up. I need to think. Right, Maarin?” She nodded, a puppet with strings of saidin. Loony Perrin muttered and ran off to consult with someone who could stop this madness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What?! That’s crazy. Go away. I’m busy with Mike…er, Lone Wolf. My warder?! Never!!!! I’d go crazy bonded to him! Well, worse then. Mary, tell Loony where he can go. I’m not going to start a mutiny against the Lord Dragon, the Light bless his name.”

Mike…er, Lone Wolf looked up from Jen…er, Kathana’s feet. His back hurt. He never knew that painting toenails hurt so much. It was silver polish today; last time he had painted them chocolate pudding brown, Copper Moon actually and both Mary and him had caught her trying to lick and bite her toes. It was disgusting, especially when she tried to stick both her feet in her mouth.

Jen noticed his pause and smacked the back of his head. “Get back to work, or I won’t…” Mike immediately resumed his bi-weekly duty.

Mary…er, what’s-her-name? frowned. “Well, Fire Boy has been acting strangely lately. I mean, breaking all the boards is out of character for him. He would sooner declare himself a non-Star Wars friend than destroy a piece of DM.”

Jen nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, I guess you have a point, but go to Serinia’s Study when you’re finished at work. You spoke out of turn there. Remember,” she smiled smugly. “I am the Amyrlin.”

Mary made a face and sat down on a nearby chair. “So what do we do? Form a committee or a commando squad?”

“If I may suggest something?” Mike spoke without ceasing, painting the last coat, but he waited for someone to nod before speaking. Luckily, Mary was listening to Loony Perrin and nodded to something Loony was saying. “We should all get together in a chat, all of DM I mean and decide what we should do.”

“Yeah.” Jen fanned herself. “That sounds good. Icq?”

“Um, that wouldn’t be good. That means Jon’atha, Matalina and a lot of other people couldn’t take part.”

Her eyes flashed. “I am the Amyrlin! Do you think we run a democracy here? What I say, goes!”

“Yes, Mother. May I kiss your ring for forgiveness, Mother?” He said automatically. Naturally, Jen already had her hand thrusted in his face. He kissed it quickly.

“Now, the Spring of Morning can’t be used because half of DM can’t get in there. So I guess we’re stuck with mass messages.” She sighed. “The Hall has forced me into this position.” Mary giggled, but didn’t comment.

Mike gasped. “Mass messages?! Aldazar will kill you! Is the situation dire enough for that?”

Jen nodded and closed her eyes. “Mary, start up the computer. The sooner it’s done, the better.”

Mary did as commanded and stole one of Jen’s socks on the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew rubbed his eyes. Finally the computer was fixed. It had at least been… three weeks. All sorts of problems had come up. Episode One was a major one. So little time, so many theatres to see it in. He sighed happily. Then he needed to get a provider and reinstall all the programs and rebuilt his icq list… Oh the struggles of life. At least he could play his fav games now. He grinned. X-Wing fighters, look out!

Ah. A message from Kathana. At least someone had missed him. He grinned; the cute ones always missed him. DM boards down again? Phoenix going insane? Nah, the boards had been doing that since DM began. Kathana was just being crazy again. Still, no boards was a pain. He was in a RP mood and had a great idea for an adventure for Sam d’ma Shadar. He closed the message.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben quieted down everyone in the mass chat with a grin. “Okay, now that everyone is here, let’s begin. Jon’atha and Matalina will communicate to us all through me. My bondholder, Sera will preside at this meeting to discuss what to do about Phoenix.” Sera, Ben, Mary, Mike…er Lone Wolf and Darksmoon were sitting at the front of the audience, with an empty chair beside Darks.

Arik tossed a chicken off his lap and raised his hand. “So what exactly did Phoenix do? I think I missed that part.”

“That and other questions will be answered soon, Arik.” Sera replied. “We will tell you only what you need to know.” The audience gave her blank looks. “It is manditory in the ‘Aes Sedai Guide to Town Hall Meetings’ and you all know very well that I am not one for breaking the rules.” There was general muttering among the SG, Asha’man and WolfBrothers’ sections, but no individual issued a vocal complaint.

“Right then, shall we get to business? Ben, get Jon’atha to tell us in his words exactly what happened to the DM boards.”

“Sure.” He grinned and cut and pasted pages as they appeared on his table in front of him. His grin began to slip as the pages went on and on and on. “Jon’atha, we really don’t need the technical information. Just plain talk.” The pages stopped and some of them actually began to disappear.

Darksmoon stretched and smiled his devilish grin. “While we’re waiting for Ben and Jon’atha, why don’t some of our lovely ladies present as a sign of their affection…” Glares around the room stopped him. “Well, it was *only* a suggestion.” he muttered, disappointed.

Suddenly the door opened and three figures marched in.

“Sorry I’m late everyone,” Lanfir puffed. “I got caught up in… traffic. Yes, in traffic.” She sat down beside Darksmoon as Dark Blight and Darkseid took up positions behind her, one on each side. Nym Sedai shook her head from her seat near the front. Darksmoon perked up visibly as his former bondholder smiled a greeting at him.

Sera gave her a frosty look. “Just as long as you are here now.” Lanfir glared and looked ready to correct this Brown sister talking down to the Head of the Green Ajah and a living Oldie Legend, one of the very first Aes Sedai at DM. She was in charge at the moment but that did not make her the superior. In fact… She noticed her arm shaking. “Is Morgan Sedai present?”

“Of course not. She’s away this summer working in real life.”

“Oh.” Lanfir managed to avoid swearing. It would be bad for her image.

Darkseid whispered in her ear. “Morgan’s sister, Silver might know how to make tea.” Smiling gratefully at her gaidin, she turned to speak to the crowd, but then Dark Blight whispered in her other ear. “Silver is a Blue sister. Morgan wouldn’t break the code and give her the recipe. Besides,” he snorted with contempt, “Would you trust a woman who thinks she can fly?”

Lanfir nodded. What would she do without her warders? she thought fondly to herself.

Suddenly Dalinarious appeared. “I hope you aren’t insulting my Silver?” He looked at DB menancingly, hand on hip.

Dark Blight drew himself up sternly. “Are you accusing me, Solider?”

Lanfir sighed. This was one of the problems with Asha’man warders; where did the line between Asha’man and Warder lie?

Happily, Dalinarious backed down. Somewhat. “No, just warning you. Good night, Asha’man.” He nodded his head and went back into the audience. DB frowned, but said nothing. He was concentrating on a shooter on the table in front of him, determined to beat Blackthorne’s record.

Nym suddenly appeared beside Darkseid, holding a large mug. “Hey Lannie, I’ve got a cup of Morgan’s tea for you. I forgot she left in the kitchen prepared packets of tea for all of the Green sisters.”

“Oh, thank god.” Lanfir muttered passionately, reaching for the mug.

Ben grinned. “Okay, has everyone a copy of what Jon’atha said? Does everyone understand it? If not, we can all go through it line by line.”

Someone groaned.

Aldiran raised a hand. “How come there are no representatives of the Band on your head committee?”

Thom piped up. “Yes, where are the Freelanders?”

“Asha’man?” Shadowkiller looked up from his brewski.

“Aiel as well.” Slaughterville rattled his spears.

Sera coughed. “We had a hard time finding members of your orgs at the time we were preparing this brief meeting. But we are all DM members first and orgs should not matter in this affair.”

Aldiran frowned, but since he wanted to get out of this chat room as soon as possible, he didn’t argue.

Ben whispered in Sera’s ear. “The testamony…”

Sera brightened quickly. “Ah yes, so you have all read or looked at Jon’atha’s testamony. There is no doubt. Phoenix is guilty of deliberately destroying the boards at DM. Unlike the Breaking, which was a systematic updating of the whole site, this was willful damage.”

She stood up and began to pace.

“The question I ask you, fellow DM members is this: is Phoenix responsible for his actions? Was he insane? Is he still insane? Loony Perrin would have us believe that Phoenix is a very dangerous man. To us all.” She cut those last words off like grapes on a vine into an Asha’man’s mouth.

Therva stood up. “May I make a suggestion? Phoenix is obviously a sick man. Someone, maybe some people have to go and see how sick he is and cure him. He is rarely online, so the people have to be the best of the best at DM, our home-grown specialists.” There was much humming and hawing at her suggestion.

Sera nodded. “Any other ideas?”

Mike…er, Lone Wolf raised a hand. “Jen, I mean the Mother told me to tell you that we should trick Phoenix with something he likes and make him fix the boards. Er, is that okay?” He looked around. “Everyone?” Mary got up and smacked him on the back of the head, then resumed her seat.

Silence.

“Phoenix likes Green sisters, doesn’t he?” Alanna fluttered her eyelashes, innocently breaking twelve warder bonds, twenty-six hearts and setting Sera’s hair on fire. “I could, well, you know, do a book Alanna thing with him. I’m willing to sacrifice myself for the DM community.”

There was an absolute uproar among the male population, telling her that she should *never* put herself in danger, that they were quite willing to die before that happened. Luckily, no one saw Sera’s sudden smile or heard her say: “That is such a lovely suggestion, Alanna dear.”

When everyone calmed down, Arik spoke. “What about a cookie? Kath…the Mother feeds Phoenix those in her silly stories and they seem to work.”

Connor scratched his chin. “Dragonmount does work on cookies.”

Ben turned to Lone Wolf. “Got any cookies? Or can Katha…the Mother make some?”

“Nope and maybe. I’ll ask her.” He tilted his head and muttered quietly for a minute, then turned to Ben. “Okay, the Mother is willing to, provided that all Asha’man sign a treaty of non-bondage unless the girls want it.” Lanfir brightened visibly.

Ben paused. “Okay. That may help in the attack we all seem to be pushing for. Let’s vote. All for Alanna’s plan?” No hands, though Sera’s arm was raised as she scratched her elbow. “For Therva’s plan, augmented by Kathana… the Mother’s plan?” All hands were raised.

“Okay, we’re decided then.” Sera templed her fingers. “I suggest that the party include the two best of each of the orgs. I recommend Therva Sedai as one of the Aes Sedai.”

Lanfir smiled. “I nominate myself for the second position. I have four warders and I am not unskilled in Healing. Plus,” she smiled sweetly. “Phoenix knows me well. We go back.”

Sera glared at her, but nodded agreement. “Very well. Unfortunately, Therva and Lanfir’s warders fill the Warder positions.” Sympathy touched her eyes as she patted Ben’s arm. Ben grinned and shrugged.

Aldiran stood up. “I nominate myself and Assatur.”

Darksmoon smiled in a canine manner. “Myself and Aldazar will come.”

Thom piped in. “Me and Uno.”

“Julia and Slaughterville.”

Suddenly, all the lights were out, except those shining on Demandred. “Ishy and myself will accompany you. Of course, we merely have common interests as you in this affair. Don’t count on us to help you if you get into a little trouble.”

Incognito smiled. “Can I represent the non-org people?”

Demandred’s eyes widened. Ben spoke. “I’m afraid that you can’t. Since you haven’t been around lately and you weren’t here in the beginning, plus you’re now one of the Band, we really can’t…” He put on a sad grin. “Sorry.”

“Drat.” Incoggy smiled at Demmy’s discomfort. “I guess I will leave now.” He faded out.

“Will someone turn on the lights? Someone is kissing my… Oh my!” The lights came back to expose Chissa’s hand being kissed passionately by Ender Wiggin.

Ender’s eyes widened. “Oh… I never meant… Oh my… I have to go… Must…” He wailed as he made a Gateway to an undisclosed beachfront location with women wearing various types of sparse body clothing. One of the new Reds gasped as Francesca shook her head. “How does he do that? If I did that, I’d even up somewhere cold in Norway or Sweden. Wait a moment, they have nice guys and isolated cabins.” A grin spread on her face as she made a Gateway and left for an undisclosed mountainous location somewhere in the northern latitudes.

Ben looked down on his papers. “Is there any Seanchan members here? No? Okay, Blackie and Sam are the non-org reps of the team.” He tilted his head. “Oh, so the meeting’s finished? Matalina’s computer is on the verge of crashing again.”

Lanfir and Sera nodded at him. Ben grinned. “So the members of Mission Desert Radish will meet here at 2 pm EST and then proceed to Phoenix’s remote lair in Real Life.”

Mary raised an eyebrow. “Mission Desert Radish? I haven’t read that far in the books, I know, but…”

Lanfir grinned, her smile slightly askew due to Mint Tea. “It would take too long to explain about Radish.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll just bug Mike and Jen later then. So everyone! Dismissed!” She grinned. “I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Everyone got up and left the chat room, leaving DM’s bravest of the online brave to prepare for the assault on the Dragon’s Lair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s two thirty. Where are they?”

Sam lounged on a chat room sofa. “I don’t know. We wait ten minutes, then go home.”

Blackthorne muttered something under her breath about Lightfriends and played with her knives for a little bit. Finally some of the others arrived.

“Pourquoi tu es tard, Therva?”

Therva aranged her skirts. “Je veux avoir tous de mes medicins avec moi.” She patted the many pockets on her long coat. “Je n’avais jamais l’opportunite d’etudier un homme qui est… malade.” She smiled gracefully.

Blackthorne shivered, not only because of the lack of accents in her French and the fact it was written ’sans dictionnaire’, but also because of the fact that no one had a clue of what they were running up against. She also had a sneaky suspicion that ‘medicins’ meant ‘doctors’ and not ‘medicines’.

Lanfir walked stately in, surrounded by the meanest of mean warders. Mean hungover warders in particular.

“Hi everyone,” she waved. “I woke up late. Sorry.” Walking towards Therva, she whispered to her. “Can you Heal my headache and my warders’ too?” Therva frowned at her, but placed her hands on Lanfir’s head anyway. Lanfir shivered and then gestured to Dark Blight, who seemed to be the worst of the warders.

“Hi Blackie. Kisses?” Darksmoon snuck up behind her.

“No, not today. Where’s Aldazar?”

“Uh oh.” He grimaced. “I knew there was something I was missing.”

Aldiran and Assatur strode in business-like. “Are we in time?”

Sam eyed him. “Yeah, just in time. At least you got your partner with you. Unlike some Org Leaders.” Blackthorne sniffed at him as Darks looked at his feet and whistled.

“I see you, Lanfir Sedai and Therva Sedai.” Slaughterville walked in with a wildcat’s grace. “You have no warder, Therva Sedai?”

“No, SV. Not since Nordan died before the Breaking.” Her face tightened at the memory.

“Not to worry, Therva Sedai. My spears will protect you.”

Therva smiled. “Thank you, SV. I am honoured. But where is Julia?”

Slaughterville frowned. “I told Corindha, who told Stone Dog who told… I don’t know, Therva Sedai. She should have gotten the message by now.”

“I see, SV. No problem. I am certain that you will represent DM Aiel well.” She patted his arm encouragingly. Slaughterville suddenly looked like a man about to swim naked across Ama’zon River. Particularly strange for an Aielman.

“Okay, enough of the cute stuff!” Ishy spoke as he and Demmy slowly materialized in front of the group. Dem merely posed dramatically in his black trench coat.

“Ah, good. We were counting on you two to get us to Phoenix’s hideout. After all, you are the only West Coast people, so I believe.” Therva scanned the group for confirmation.

“Of course. You Lightfools would be absolutely useless without us.” Ishy stated that plainly as a fact of nature. “Shall be begin?”

“Okay.” Sam looked at his watch. “Although we’re missing Thom and Uno. I guess Thom got caught up in a conversation with that daisychick chick again.”

“It is of no importance.” Dem waved his hand dismissively. “Do we have Kathana’s cookies?”

“Right here.” Darksmoon reverently held the bag of Chips Ahoy! Cookies in front of himself, awed by the power of chocolate.

Blackthorne suddenly spoke up. “Wait a minute! Something’s wrong! Sathy hasn’t appeared in this story yet! Oh, this doesn’t look good.”

Everyone else looked at her strangely.

“Why?” Lanfir wanted to know.

“Lannie, Sathinar is insane.” Lanfir nodded. “Phoenix is insane. See a pattern?” Lanfir frowned. “Maybe Sath is our real enemy, not the Taint or Phoenix’s mind. Sath’s insanity is infectious, so…”

“That’s just nutso, Jan…er, Blackie.” Sam broke in. “Let’s go.”

Blackthorne sighed and concluded that the blindness of the books’ characters was beginning to affect DM’s characters.

“Lock and load, ladies and gents.” Aldiran readied his crossbow before the Gateway to Travel to Phoenix’s world. “It’s going to be a crazy ride.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phoenix giggled a little as the figure on the screen rotated. How long had it been since he had last had the time and energy? He frowned. What was I doing? He looked at the picture closely. Ah yes, designing a toliet for Maarin. She would be so pleased.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise of someone knocking on the door. No one ever knocked on his door; only telemarketers did. Rising to shoo them away using Fire and Air, he was amazed to find a group of various people in his living room. As he paused to ask them for dinner (Maarin was making spaghetti tonight), one of the women channeled. The last thing he remembered was thinking: “Hmm, Chips Ahoy!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what’s wrong with him? Is Maarin dead-dead?”

Therva shook her head and continued to hum with her eyes closed, hands on Phoenix’s temples. Phoenix himself seemed to be in a deep sleep.

“Lannie?” Darksmoon turned to Lanfir, who was hovering over Maarin’s slumped body.

“She seems to be in some sort of suspended animation. She sleeps deeply and her heart and breathing is very slow. I think she’s trapped in T’A'R’.” Lanfir sighed. “That is the fate of many Dreamers. To think that we blamed the Shadow for her disappearance. We should have considered who her warder was.”

Dem bowed with a smile. “We were quite honoured to be blamed for such a dark deed without lifting a finger.”

“Therva?” Blackthorne stood by Therva. “How is he?”

“Hmmm? Oh, him.” She stood up, wiping her hands on her manditory skirts. “Well, it’s a combination of things really.”

Blackthorne gestured for her to continue, but Therva shook her head. “It is best for us all to hear it together.”

Lanfir caught the unspoken clue and walked with her warders to Therva, the others trailing her.

“Well, as I said, it is many things. Many mental and physical pressures. A real list. Now, how should I begin? Well, young Blackthorne was right about Sathinar; Saths is influencing him from afar.”

“I knew it!” She shouted, indulging in a couple of grins.

“Um, Blackthorne…” Aldiran whispered in her ear. “Aren’t you dead? You know, you killing yourself…”

“Well, I’m technically Rose Crimsonthorne, Warder student now. But I shall always remain Blackthorne on email and icq and AIM.”

“Oh, but that is confusing. You know, newbies won’t understand.”

“Well, they’ll just have to learn.”

“If I may continue?” Therva glared at the both of them. “Now, that is only one factor. There is also the Taint-induced madness, which is only natural. I mean, he *did* use a lot of saidin to Break DM a couple of times, not counting Bravenet episodes.” Everyone nodded at that; it was expected.

“Then there is Real Life pressures. Work I feel is the main one. If temporarily relieved of such pressures, he will recover. That is Phoenix’s problem.”

Everyone looked around at each other.

“So that’s it. Okay, let’s go home.” Sam turned around to face the door.

“No way!” Lanfir showed her usual fiery Green temperament. “We came here to help him! We have to do something!”

“Okay, so let’s divide up. One group will find Sathinar and make him stop, another talk with the Dark One or prolly any one of the Incarnies and someone talk to Phoenix’s Real Life boss and get him a paid vacation.”

Therva pursed her lips. “Someone needs to stay here and tend Phoenix as well.”

“Well, that makes it simple then. Therva will stay here and I will go with my warders to deal with Sathinar.” Lanfir smiled tightly. “I haven’t visited him in a long time.”

Therva sighed. Dem turned to Lanfir. “There is no way that I am going to ask the Great Lord to release Phoenix from the Taint. I’m not that stupid!”

Lanfir smiled a Green smile. “Then what will you do?”

He looked at her straight in the eyes. “I will stay here and keep Phoenix sane. Ishamael knows the weaves to temporarily Heal him. I will supervise.”

Lanfir rolled her eyes. “Very well. The boss?”

Aldiran raised a hand. “My man Assatur and myself will speak with him. I found the number and address in the Lord Dragon’s wallet and on his fridge.”

“Okay. Guess that leaves Sam, Blackie and Slaughterville to deal with the Dark One or the first Incarnation you find.” Lanfir patted Blackie’s shoulder and hugged Sam. “Good luck! You have the most important job of us all. Bye!” Lanfir waved the group of three out the door. The other groups vanished quickly.

Ishamael eyed Phoenix warily. “What do we do when he awaken?”

“Feed him Kathana’s cookies. If he doesn’t choke and die, keep feeding him.”

Darksmoon walked up to Lanfir. “Hey, what’s up? I went to the bathroom and…”

Lanfir glared at him. “Not now, Darks! If you need a job, stuff cookies down Phoenix’s throat!” She stalked off, warders following her.

“Well, if that’s the way it is, I will!” He stomped off and grabbed the cookie bag and sniffed him. “Hmmm… That smells good!” He popped a cookie into his mouth and immediately fell into a Cookie High, making him utterly useless in the case of an emergency. (Public Warning: Cookies can be hazardous to your health. Use with caution! Know where your cookies have been! Know the symptoms of chocolate poisoning! Only you can stop Mama from baking!)

Therva sighed. “Now I know why he has been bonded twice and let go of that bond both times!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Here Sathy, Sathy. Lannie has a gift for you.” Lanfir stalked with an eager smile, her slim hands around the necks of a couple of chickens. They didn’t have pigeons here in the supermarkets, but chicken would do.

“What is it?” Sathinar ran up to her. “Is it something I can wear? You’re not still angry with me? Is Ciara with you?”

Lanfir forced a pleasant smile on her face. “No, I am not and Ciara is in the White Tower. Here. It’s a gift from a friend to a friend.”

He eyed her suspiciously and took a chicken, promptly tossing it over his shoulder. “It’s not pigeon.” He walked off.

“No, stop! It is pigeon, a special type of pigeon. They’re… um, genetically altered pigeons that taste better than ordinary ones.”

“So? I like them alive so I can hunt them down. You know, the thrill of the chase. Sorry, Lannie.”

She stamped her feet. “Sathinar, you have to take these chickens! If you don’t,” she gulped, “Mother will kill me!”

“Oh, if that’s the way it is… Okay.” He took the other chicken and sniffed it. “Smells good. Tastes good too.” He bent down on the ground for the other bird.

Lanfir whinced. “Sathinar, I need your help.”

“I knew there was a reason! Why?”

“Because you are an expert on insanity.”

He smiled smugly, mouth full of meat. “I know. Took me a long time to get my degree.”

“Well, Phoenix has contracted your madness. You need to fix Phoenix.”

“Why? There’s nothing wrong with insanity. That’s a common misconception.”

“It is wrong in this case. Phoenix is… you know, Phoenix. If he falls, DM falls. Please,” Lanfir attempted the Moiraine pose on her knees, “you must… I ask you…humbly…” All her warders looked stunned at her.

Sathinar smiled. “I always wanted to see one of you guys do that. Okay, I’ll stop influencing Phoenix, but,” he raised his hand, “I have my price. Two thousand pigeons!”

Lanfir gasped. Dark Blight was the first to speak. “No, you cannot have that many! You’ll wiped out the entire White Tower pigeon species!” Ash nodded and whipped out a visual prop, showing the White Tower species of pigeons to be estimated at exactly two thousand.

Fremen grabbed Sathinar by the lapels. “You don’t understand what you’re asking! There will be no more pigeons in stories at all in DM!”

Sath grinned. “I don’t care. I just want easy tv dinners.”

Darkseid just glared at him and muttered, “Eco-terrorist!” under his breath.

Lanfir stood up slowly, clearly thinking carefully. “Very well, you’ll get your two thousand pigeons. Are we agreed?” She held out her hand.

“Yes, we are.” They shook hands. The warders stared at the both of them, appalled.

“Of course, you do realize that you didn’t specify what condition the pigeons arrive to you as. They will all be pluck and headless.” Sathinar’s look turned to one of anger, but he knew that she was telling the truth and there was nothing he could do. She was Aes Sedai after all.

“We will deliver them to you over a week period, starting Monday.”

He nodded. “Not what I wanted exactly, but it will do. For now. Bye bye Lannie and thanks for lunch!” He giggled and ran off, feeling very happy with his trading. She was Aes Sedai, but he *was* a peddler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Commander, are you sure about this place?”

“Yep. 152 East Sunrise Street, number 401.”

They stood in front of a run down building, cracks winding through the walls. Assatur looked at Aldiran worriedly, but said nothing.

“Come. Let’s go in and find Phoenix’s boss.”

They entered the squeaky door and slowly climbed to the fourth floor, both reluctant yet eager to leave this place, especially after seeing the cockroaches on the walls.

“Fourth floor, sir.”

They stood in front of the door in the stairway. Assatur pushed it open with a shoulder and both rushed in, then stopped, amazed.

Clean white desks filled the room, tastefully decorated. A woman in a skirt greeted them.

Aldiran closed his mouth. “I was told that a man named…” he checked the name, “Joe Trimarchi works here.”

The lady nodded. “Oh yes, he does. Do you have a meeting with Mr. Trimarchi?”

“Um, no. Can I speak with him for a couple of minutes? I won’t be long.”

“Well, I’ll see. Stay here.” She gestured and went back into the office to talk with a man in an office of his own. Aldiran couldn’t see much of him because of the blinds on his office door. Finally, the lady returned.

“Mr. Trimarchi will see you now. Follow me.”

She immediately took off, leaving them no choice. She led them into the office and quickly left them alone with Mr. Trimarchi. He was on the phone, back to them. There was a sign on his desk: ‘Asha’man rules.’ Aldiran had a Brown temptation to cross out the ’s’ and change ‘man’ to ‘men’, but he crossed his arms and took a deep breath instead. Then Assatur gasped and pointed to the monitor. Aldiran looked and did a double take. That was the first nude of Min he had ever seen. No wonder Rand liked her best in the books if she looked like that. Mr. Trimarchi had finished his call and was now watching. Suddenly he figured out the rest behind his guests’ blushes.

“Er… It’s a study for my ‘Far Snows: The Sun Throne Room’ scene.” He blushed. “No, it’s purely artistic! You know, to get the female bodies right.” The other men grinned. Mr. Trimarchi threw up his hands. “I give up! So who are you people?”

Aldiran explained quickly, aided greatly by the fact that Mr. Trimarchi was an avid WoT fan and artiste.

“Hmmm… Well, I was just about to fire Phoenix. He hasn’t showed up in three weeks. But I’ll give him a break. Holiday pay until he returns. Which I trust will be soon?” He questioned them.

“Oh yes. Therva Sedai, a Yellow is working on it. He should be back in a week. Just make sure that he doesn’t work too hard. Therva ordered little stress for him.”

Mr. Trimarchi muttered something under his breath, but nodded. “Okay. He can supervise for a month.”

“Well Mr. Trimarchi, I think that is everything. Thank you very much.” Aldiran shook his hand.

“No problem. Later!” The phone rang and Aldiran and Assatur escorted themselves out of the office. They hurried back to Phoenix’s hideout with their great news. The lady at the desk muttered something after them as they left, something about ‘crazy WoT kids.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So where do we start?” Sam said as they walked.

“Well, where are the Incarnies usually?”

“I don’t know… I guess the RPG board at DM.”

Slaughtville shook his head. “The Incarnations are on vacation. They could be anywhere.”

Blackthorne pursed her lips. “Let me think. When we usually need them, we email them.”

“Yeah, except we haven’t got time to do that.” Sam spoke to her, more than a little exasperated.

“Be quiet. I’m thinking.” She placed a finger on her lips. “Can we find out where they pick up their email, thus learning their location?”

“That is very hard to track. Even for someone like me.” Slaughterville admitted.

“Jan… Blackthorne, you’re thinking too sanely and logically. This is a silly story, silly.” She glared at him and resumed her brain-storming.

“Sam? You feel saidin right? Can you talk to him while holding the One Power?”

“I can try.” He suddenly concentrated. “I think I’ve got it… Wait, no. Just a vacation answering machine system.”

Blackthorne frowned. “I wish I could channel saidar.” Suddenly, her eyes widened. “Hey! What’s this light thing? Saidar, can you hear me? I need… Damn, another messaging thingy! Sorry guys.”

Slaughterville tried to stop fingering his spears, directed at Blackthorne.

“Well, there’s only one place for us to go to. It’s our last chance. Go to Shayol Ghul and talk to Sightblinder.”

Both Blackthorne and Sam nodded.

“Yet both Saidar and Saidin have to have similar places in the world where people can commune with them like they do with the Dark One.” Blackthorne mused. “Somewhere where living things grow in abundance and there is no death and darkness. Somewhere that the Shadow fears to enter.”

“Sounds like a stedding.” Slaughterville suggested. “We could go to one and ask the Ogier to help us talk with the Powers That Be.”

Sam nodded. “Yeppers. Sounds good.”

“I don’t know guys; it sounds risky. I mean, you can’t channel in a stedding and both of them have their vacation messages on. They might not be there at all. At least we know that the Dark One is really there.”

They all stood around for a minute. Finally Sam spoke. “Fine. You go to Shayol Ghul and deal with the Dark One and we’ll go to Stedding Oreo. Deal?”

Slaughterville sputtered wordlessly.

“Deal. See you later.”

He nodded. “Later.” He turned and gestured for Slaughterville to follow him.

“Oh, could one of you guys open a Gateway for me to go to Shayol Ghul?”

“Certainly, Celeste Blackthorne.” Slaughterville gestured and a saidin-induced Gateway appeared into existence.

“Thanks.” She disappeared through it without a good-bye.

“Come on, SV. We have a long trip to make to Stedding Oreo.” He opened a Gateway as he spoke.

“Not long for me, Sam d’ma Shadar.” Slaughterville grinned and ran through the Gateway. Sam sighed and the Gateway closed after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Therva frowned.

“Any change, Therva?” Ishamael yelled from the other room. Dem and him were playing Grand Auto Theft on Phoenix’s computer.

“Well, I think he’ll wake up soon and the madness seems a little weaker. I guess Lanfir convinced Sathinar to stop. Darksmoon is still looking in the mirror.” Darks was posed motionless in front of the bathroom mirror, his face amazed.

Suddenly, Phoenix’s eyelids fluttered and opened.

“Maarin? Where am I? You!! ARGH!!!” He stood up and faced the two Forsaken, his face a mixture of steel and sponge. “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ll protect you.” He patted Therva’s shoulder.

“The cookies!” Therva hissed. Dem dashed for them as Ishy slowly walked forward, hands raised in front of himself. “Now Phoenix, we don’t want anyone to get hurt…”

“Yeah right!” Phoenix half-laughed, half-snarled. “Oh, I *know* you, Betrayer of Hope. I know your tricks and half-lies. Don’t think you can fool me!” Ishamael eyed Dem quickly; he had a cookie in his hand.

“Now Phoenix,” he advanced. “Every man has the right to defend himself. Even one like me. Would you like a cookie? Kathana made them for you.”

“Cookie…” Phoenix licked his lips. “Okay.”

Dem gave him the cookie and watched him eat it intently. So did Therva and Ishamael. Suddenly, Phoenix sat down on the couch and stayed there, silent and motionless.

Therva drew a relieved breath. “Good. May the Light make that the last time he is so awake and alert.”

“Yeah,” Ishy looked worriedly. “For a second there, I wasn’t sure.”

“How long do those things act for?” Dem asked.

As if in answer, Darksmoon walked out of the bathroom leaning on the wall.

“Oh, you will not believe what happened to me! I ate one of those cookies and…”

“An hour, Dem.”

Darks looked at Therva. “Can’t I tell my story?” He whined plantitively.

“Sure, Darksmoon.” She patted his arm.

“Okay.” He brightened. “So I ate the cookie and suddenly…”

A crash announced Lanfir’s arrival and her warders.

“Oh Therva, you will not believe it! I solved Phoenix and the Black Tower’s problems at the same time!” Dark Blight looked proudly at her, he just a little more than his brother warders.

“Really? How?”

Darksmoon made a face in frustration.

“In exchange for Phoenix’s sanity, two thousand pigeons.” Lanfir grinned.

Therva was confused. “I don’t understand. How do pigeons? Oh.” Understanding bloomed. She smiled as pleased as Lanfir. “Good job, Lanfir.”

Dem tapped a foot. “Explain.”

“Oh, Sathinar thinks chickens are special pigeons. Sathinar will eat up the Black Tower’s surplus of chickens created by Arik’s silly stories.” Therva frowned. “The only problem I see is that no chickens means that the spiders will be free to reproduce and possibly rule DM in a couple of months. Oh well, that’s someone else’s problem, not ours.” Lanfir nodded in agreement.

Aldiran and his man Assatur ran into the room. “We’ve got Phoenix vacation pay while he was insane and supervising people for a month when he returns to work.” Both men were pleased with their bargaining.

“That’s great! Now all we need is for Blackthorne, Sam and SV to do their stuff and Phoenix will recover!”

Lanfir indulged in a little pre-celebratory dance. They had to succeed. Only a sane Phoenix was worth two thousand chickens and a future spider cult problem. He had to get better. Wot.com had fallen; something had to stand and hold. Something. She stopped to think a little prayer for Blackie and the boyz. Everything was in their hands now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did that sign back there say left or right? I forgot.” Sam mopped the sweat of his forehead with his sleeve. Slaughterville did not sweat at all.

“Right. We are going the right way, Sam d’ma Shadar.” SV scanned ahead.

“I hope we find this stedding soon. The sun is baking! Wheh!”

Slaughterville didn’t answer; he was looking at a spot in the hills.

“Sam d’ma Shadar, would that be the stedding in the wetlands? It resembles one in the Three-fold Land.” He pointed to the point that seemed carved into the hillside.

“Hmmm, could be, could be. Only one way to find out. Let’s go.”

They walked at a faster pace towards the possible stedding and possible answer to their prayers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alrighty then. Almost there.”

Blackthorne crawled across the black marble floor. Those Light-blinded men had made a Gateway straight into Rahvin’s rooms. It had not been pleasant. Now all of the Forsaken wanted to play Hide and Seek and Tag with her. Still, it did give her access to the Forsaken’s secret private entrance into the Pit. Funny that, she touched her head. Now how did she know that?

“Never mind that now. Just through that doorway and I’m there.” She muttered, listening for footsteps, breathing, anything that showed her to be in company. The doorway in question was just a plain ordinary door. All the reason why it was so hush-hush and unknown. It had been added when the Elder Forsaken had been sealed for about a thousand years, much more convienant and stylish for the elite of the elite. Shaking her head, she quickly ran to the door, opened it and ran through, closing it on her heels. They mustn’t suspect her true intentions. All the Forsaken were positive that all Blackie wanted was their autographs, especially Slayer and Mor’dib.

The Pit was… a pit, a cavern of rock at the bottom of a volcano. Not that impressive if you had seen the bottom of a volcano before; all bottoms of volcanoes tended to be similar. The heat was nice. Blackthorne stretched and untucked her shirt before going on; why hurry now when she was almost done?

She walked towards the fiery magma and the Bore fearless. It was not like she hadn’t taken this trip before. Deciding that her memory was quite corrupt, Blackthorne gave up trying to understand what her mind was conjuring up. Must be a mind trick by the Dark One to make her join the Dark Side.

So finally she was there. Time to save Phoenix from getting his feathers too burnt.

“Hello?!”

HELLO BLACKTHORNE.

“Um… Hi Dark One. How are you today?”

VERY WELL. MY CHOSEN DRAW EVER CLOSER TO GETTING ME FREE. I TAKE IT THAT THIS IS NO PLEASURE VISIT. YOU NEVER VISIT ME SINCE YOU LEFT THE SHADOW.

Was that a sulking tone?! By the Dark One?

“Um… No, sir.” She drew a deep breath. “Lord Phoenix, the Dragon, your enemy has been taken by the taint on saidin and has fallen into insanity. I have come to ask you to free him of his insanity and stop the taint from affecting him again.”

There was a long pause.

SO? THAT IS GREAT NEWS YOU BEAR. WHY SHOULD I HEAL HIM AND REMOVE THE TAINT?

She swallowed. “Um… Because you want to play fair?”

A long pause. Blackthorne searched franticly for additional reasons.

WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKET?

“Er, this?” She removed a chocolate bar.

GIVE IT TO ME.

She threw the bar out into the Pit, where it suddenly lifted into the Bore and disappeared in the sound of great devouring.

YOU HAVE MORE. GIVE IT TO ME.

She suddenly was angry. “No way! That’s my last Oh Henry! Bar! Go to Hell!”

I WANT IT. GIVE IT TO ME. He stubbornly repeated.

Blackthorne suddenly grinned. The Dark One should have given up there, but the Dark One had a character flaw. He couldn’t say no and look bad in front of a mortal.

“Okay, I will. But I have my conditions…”

WHAT CONDITIONS, MORTAL?

“You heal Phoenix and remove the taint on saidin for it.”

NO. GIVE IT TO ME.

“I will throw in a whole box of pure Swiss chocolate bars.” Her voice took on a sly tone. “Just think of that much chocolate, free for the consumption.”

Silence.

OKAY. DEAL.

She crossed her arms. “You first and show me proof.”

VERY WELL.

A bubble rose from the magma and slowly rotated in the air, showing a scene of the Black Tower, men running around laughing and crying, kissing Aes Sedai and just holding the Source.

THE DRAGON WILL RECOVER SOON. KATHANA’S COOKIES ARE STILL AFFECTING HIS BODY.

Blackthorne didn’t want to trust the Dark One, but she had no choice. “Okay, here’s your reward as promised!”

She tossed the box and it rose more quickly this time, sounds of great joy and gluttonous happiness emitting from the Bore. She swore she heard the squeal of a child as she left the Pit, but maybe it was her imagination. After all, why would Phoenix choose a child under 12 to be an Incarnation? She shivered; thoughts like that were dangerous. Time to go home, back to Phoenix to be exact and see if trusting the Dark One was a wise thing to do and not a waste of Swiss chocolate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Ogier were a race of thinkers, not doers, Sam reminded himself. Yet they had to hurry. Kathana’s cookies wouldn’t last *that* long. At least, SV and him had learned where the Incarnation contact places were. The Ogier trusted that they would wait until the Council gave them permission to use them. Fat chance of that.

“Slaughterville, you take the pond. I’ll run to the glade.” He nodded and disappeared. Sam took off into the trees to have a talk with Saidin.

Happily, Saidin was home. Funny, he had never imagined Saidin to be a withered, bent-with-the-cares-of-the-world man.

“Hi Sam.” Saidin grimaced as he stood, scars mapping his bare arms.

“Hi Saidin. Let’s keep this quick. Can you fix up Phoenix?”

“Nope, sorry boy. Only young Shay Tan can do that and he’ll prolly not help you there.”

“Damn. Not even if you and Saidar worked together?”

He shook his head. “I hope for DM’s sake that Blackthorne is successful, ‘though I doubt it. Nothing else to say. See you later, Sam.”

Saidin picked up a hoe and starting weeding and planting in his garden, obviously a dismissal. Sam sighed worriedly and took off to find Slaughterville. He found Sam first.

“Sam, you would not believe what Saidar looks like! She’s so beautiful and…” He made a cupping gesture with his hands in front of his breasts.

“Really? Saidin is this really old man. He said that the only one who can help us is the Dark One.”

Slaughterville nodded. “I know. Let us return to Phoenix’s roof. Celeste Blackthorne has either failed or succeeded by now.”

Sam nodded and eyed the glade mournfully. Why had she demanded to take a box of Swiss chocolate bars with her, the full box, leaving him without a chocolate bar? His stomach grumbled in agreement. Phoenix should have some food at home. SV waved at him and Sam ran to catch up. Funny, he felt strange all of a sudden. Also, he could have sworn that he had heard a yell from the glade, or was it the pond, or both? Ah, never mind. She was a strange one, that Blackthorne woman and he would never understand her, not for anything at all. Darksmoon seemed to understand women; maybe he would ask him. Yeah, that sounded good. Resolved, he ran with the Aiel California-bound.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, he’s waking up! Lanfir, get the cookies ready and feed him quickly if I tell you!”

Phoenix flickered his eyes opened as a cool wave of saidar washed over him.

“Hey Therva! Stop that!”

The coldness stopped suddenly as he rubbed his eyes. How long had he been asleep?

“Phoenix?! You’re okay!” Lanfir tackled him in a hug. He was afraid of her bonding him, so he gently set her aside. “So what has been happening lately to everyone? Why are you all here in my living room? And when was I not okay?”

Aldiran and Assatur walked into the room. “Good news everyone! I talked with his boss and…” Aldiran’s eyes brightened. “Lord Dragon! You’re back!” He shook Phoenix’s hand hard.

Phoenix nodded and muttered under his breath. “I should have stamped that Lord Dragon stuff out earlier.”

Therva straightened her skirts and quickly wiped a tear from her eye. “You were ill. Insane for about a week. But you have fully recovered. You have given so many hope for the future.” She trailed off and blew her nose.

“Did I hurt anyone?” Phoenix asked quietly.

“Oh my! Where’s Maarin?” Lanfir ran out into the kitchen, just as Maarin walked into the doorway.

“Maarin!!! You’re okay too!” Lanfir hugged her tightly. “You’re out of your coma!”

“Yes… Hi Lanfir.” Maarin hugged her back weakly, obviously confused.

Phoenix shook his head and demanded a full explanation, which they were only willing to give.

“…So that’s what we did.” Aldiran finished his part of their adventures.

Phoenix frowned and rubbed his chin. “Hmmm… A month of supervising. Not bad at all.” He suddenly smiled. “Thanks.”

“Er… No problem, Lord Dragon.”

“So what about Sam, Blackthorne and Slaughterville? Where are they?”

“That’s what we are wondering too.” Therva touched his shoulder. “I only hope that they didn’t do anything foolish. Still, they must have succeeded, because you are well.” Maarin made a growling noise. Therva immediately stepped away from Phoenix.

“Hi sisters and brothers! We’re home!” Sam slammed the door open, followed by a worried-looking Slaughterville. “How’s Fire Boy? Oh.” He caught Phoenix’s glare. “Well, we went to Stedding Oreo, and…”

Lanfir looked at him strangely. “Where’s Blackie?”

“Oh, she went to Shayol Ghul to talk with Dark One. We told her that it was a stupid idea, but you know her. She insisted. She even won’t let us have some of her Swiss chocolate. But I guess that was good that she went there, because at Stedding Oreo we learned that He’s the only one who can fix Phoenix up. I mean going to see the Dark One, not the chocolates.” He looked around. “Why are you all looking at me strangely?”

Darksmoon bowed his head. “Blackthorne made the ultimate sacrifice for DM. Let us honour her memory.” The others all bowed their heads. Sam was still trying to figure it out.

There was a squeak on the stairs.

“Hello everyone. I got back early; Lanfear send me straight here from Shayol Ghul. So I took a shower to freshen up.” Blackthorne ran a hand through her damp hair. “Phoenix, can I borrow a comb?”

Dem shook his head. “Unauthorized channeling… I’ll have to talk to Lanfear about that.” Ishamael smiled (slightly) at the thought of Lanfear being in Dem’s bad books.

Lanfir immediately hugged Blackie, ignoring the wet hair. “Oh, everyone is alright and safe! This requires a drink! Dark Blight, get the bottles out of my baggage and Darkseid, make us some Green Tea! You know, the good stuff!” Both warders ran off smiling like boys in a candy store holding an all-you-can-eat sale.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone drank. Everyone ate the burgers, little egg roll thingies and the shrimp rings. Everyone had a good time. The next afternoon, Phoenix’s guests had to leave and return to their offline duties, because it was Sunday, technically Monday in some locations. First the non-North Americans left.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Lanfir?” Ash, one of her warders, asked concerned.

Lanfir nodded. She was being held up by Darkseid and Fremen. Dark Blight was talking with the pilot, getting a deal for him to be dropped off in Australia.

Blackthorne walked up to Dark Blight and asked the same question to him.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Dust Beastie?”

The reason why she asked him that was because he had to get back home as soon as possible. He had a final exam on Tuesday.

“Oh, sure. Bobbing Tigress, I’m used to no-studying now. I’ll do fine! All I need are a couple of shooters and I’m fine! Later, Back Tipper.” He kissed her on the cheek and hurried off while he was still winning in the name-calling contest that they had going perpetually on icq. Lannie eyed Blackthorne strangely, but said nothing as they went onboard, warders and all.

“Later, Diving Boat, Lannie and all the rest of you guys!”

Blackthorne swore she heard DB curse as the plane door closed and she giggled.

Darksmoon smiled and leaned over to her. “How ’bout a kiss now? Wasn’t I a hero back there?”

She blinked. “Back where? I beat the Dark One with my own brains.”

“Oh. No, I meant somewhere else. Let’s see…” He scratched his head. “Last week? No? Oh, was it the week before that?”

Blackthorne figured that it was about time someone took pity on Darksmoon’s character flaw, so she immediately wrote in Darksmoon being taken home by a pack of beautiful Wolfsisters eager for their leader to return. The Wolfsisters appeared on cue and stole Darks away into the forests of Virginia. He didn’t even look back. What an ungrateful guy! she smiled.

Ash left for wherever he lived. Michigan, Blackthorne believed. Slaughterville ran off into the west to his home, Mi’souri Hold. Was he one of the Jenn Aiel? No, they lived in Georgia. Ah well.

Maarin had decided to stay with her warder to make sure he was completely well. She didn’t blame her for wanting to keep an eye on someone who had made her into a living sock puppet.

Sam had just left for his home in the Great North, escorting Therva Sedai. Phoenix had shown rare wisdom; he had not asking the obvious question. Now that only left Ishy and Demmy, Aldiran and Assatur and herself.

“Well, my honourable opponent, I fear we must return to Washington, as terrible as that sounds. Fare well, until I get to toss a boulder at you on IRC again.” Demandred shook hands civilly with Phoenix and Ishamael joined him as they left through a Gateway. Aldiran made a small whining sound.

“Yes, Aldiran?” Phoenix turned to him, one arm around Maarin’s waist.

“Um, sir. I need a Gateway back to my home and one to my man’s. Assatur is from New Mexico.”

Phoenix sighed elaborately. “All you people need to do is ask! Very well.” He pointed and two Gateways appeared. “Right is to New Mexico, left is to Missouri.”

“Thanks, Lord Dragon.” The two men hurried to their destinations.

“Hey Aldiran,” Blackie asked. “Why didn’t you go with Slaughterville?”

He snorted. “Do I look like an Aiel? There’s no way I’m walking home when I can get a free ride!”

Blackthorne shook her head. Men could be so strange sometimes.

Now there was only her left of the rescue squad.

“Blackthorne,” Maarin asked. “Do you require transportation as well?”

“Nope, I’m waiting for my ride out of here. Why don’t you two go home now? I’ll be fine.” She forced a grin on her face and tried to not look at the phone booth.

“Of course not! There’s no way that I’m going to let you stay here alone. You might get hurt or kidnapped by someone.” Phoenix crossed his arms. “And that’s that.”

Blackthorne sighed. “Well, if that’s how you feel, then you leave me no choice.” She wiggled her fingers and Phoenix and Maarin immediately appeared at Phoenix’s Lair, forgetting all about Blackthorne.

Blackthorne giggled. Suddenly the phone in the phone booth rang. With no hurry, she walked up to the phone booth and picked up the phone. Within seconds, she had simply disappeared from the Real World.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a shout, Jonathan Jackson woke up. Wildly, he looked around the room. Drats, he had fallen asleep at the computer again. Good thing he had unlimited access. He rubbed the crink in his neck. Light, so many people had sent him messages while he was asleep.

What a dream, he thought as he clicked through the streams of messages for Jon’atha Sarcorhein. It had seemed so real. Absently, he read ‘boards down…simply missing the page…bad links…’ but it didn’t really register. Not until Phoenix’s ‘I am sooo sorry; you’re going to kill me’ email came in his box. Then it hit him.

“Noooooo!!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deep voiced Host: In the Beginning, there was a dream. It was a good dream. Ah yes, it was a good dream. (smiles in memory; an aid runs up to him) What? Oh, we’re not talking about that dream? Oh, that other one? Oh. Okay. (coughs) It was the dream of the man once known and is still know as Phoenix. Let’s turn back the pages of time and see the dream for ourselves. Because…

Audience: (shouts together) This Is Your Life!!!

(Cheesy music starts up as Alanna in a revealing evening dress touches the television screen a la Vanna White and it starts to show a movie of Phoenix’s Dream)

(Dream sequence music)

Phoenix: (looks around in his Heron Marked™ pajamas) Woah! What is this?!

(He’s standing in the middle of a typical suburban street, in front of two large houses, one painted black, the other white)

Phoenix: White Tower and Black Tower? Well, they are three story houses, but personally, I wouldn’t call them Towers…

(He looks around)

Phoenix: Well, this looks like a nice neighborhood. Nice wooded lot behind the houses, a big park and playground for the kids to play ‘Darth Vader’ in. Hehehe. I wonder why I’m dreaming this.

(Ciara suddenly appears with neon pink ribbons in her hair)

Ciara: Hi Uncle Phoenix!

(She runs past him and goes into the ‘White Tower’ house)

Phoenix: Er…This dream is weird. (grins) No more cheese puffs for me.

(He walks up to the ‘White Tower’ house’s yard, as a group of boys on BMX bikes ride up to the ‘Black Tower’ house’s yard and get off their bikes, leaving them in the middle of the yard)

The__Dragon: So what’s for dinner?

Kagato: I don’t know. (makes a face) I hope it’s not the Heron Marked™ fish sticks again. I hate those!

The__Dragon: Hey! I like fish sticks! Especially the way Dad fries them!

Dramon: You’re both weird. But it smells like he’s doing Shake ‘n Bake™ chicken. BBQ, I’d say.

Kagato: Really? Oh boy!

(The three of them fight to get into the ‘Black Tower’ first)

Phoenix: Oh boy…I hope this isn’t one of those prophetic dreams. Because I hope I never have kids like that. Besides, (makes a face) I hate Shake ‘n Bake Country style BBQ flavour.

(Suddenly, there’s a cat call from above in the ‘Black Tower’)

Shadowkiller: Hey, Ilyena… Nice shirt.

(A voice yells from the opposite window in the ‘White Tower’)

Voice: Hey!!! What are you looking at?

Shadowkiller: (shrugs with a grin) Nothing.

Voice: Ohmy!!! You’re terrible!!

(Shadowkiller laughs)

Voice: Tell your brother Hawkwing to stop smoking by the windows. The ash is getting on the window and Mother is making us clean them.

Shadowkiller: Okay. Will do. And Ilyena… Are you doing anything this Saturday?

Voice: (hesistates) No… Not really.

Shadowkiller: Well… Um, you and me… could go out and see a …um, movie?

Voice: That would be nice. Eight?

Shadowkiller: Yeah, sure.

(Phoenix just shakes his head, puzzled. A young man runs up of the ‘Black Tower’, seemingly in a rush. Phoenix stops him.)

Phoenix: Excuse me, but where am I?

Man: (looks at him strangely) This is Dragonmount, of course. Didn’t you read the banners or the URL?

Phoenix: Um… No, I’m new here. (thinks: Boy, now I’m dreaming I’m in a web page? Cool!!!)

Man: Oh, well. I haven’t got time to show you around, newbie. I’ve got to go and fetch some grapes for Narell. (frees himself and runs off)

Phoenix: Wait! Tell me your name at least!

Man: (stops) Oh, my name’s Ender. Ender Wiggin. Asha’man of the Black Tower. (resumes running)

Phoenix: Why would I think up a strange name like that? And what’s with the Asha’man bit? I suppose it’s like a wizard or some magic user.

(Phoenix walks up to the ‘Black Tower’s’ front door and knocks)

Voice2: Come on in! The door’s always open. If you enter your password correctly, that is!

(General laughter from inside. Phoenix tries to open the screen door; it won’t budge)

Voice2: Register a password if you don’t have one yet.

(Phoenix notices a touch pad on the handle of the door. Covering the pad, he quickly types in ‘TooMuchCheese’ as his password. The door opens freely.)

Voice2: Thought you weren’t going to make it. I guess this is your first visit. (The Voice becomes a Man with a Loud Voice) My name’s Mazrim Taim, but the boys here call me ‘Dad’. (Taim is sitting at a large table with guys of all ages around him)

Phoenix: Er…Hi. My name’s (thinks: I can’t use my real name or my real alias name! Think! Think! Think! Oh, I got it!) …Jarron.

Taim: Nice to meet you. Joining the Tower?

Phoenix: Which one?

(Everyone else laughs)

Taim: (recovering) Not like you have much of a choice unless you start wearing a dress and channeling saidar!

Phoenix: Oh, I get it. The ‘Black Tower’ is for men and the ‘White Tower’ is for the ladies. Kind of discriminatory, but I guess all that’s important is that it works.

Taim: Oh yeah, yeah. It works. Do you want me to add your name to the roster, Jarron? (points to a chalkboard where all the names, ranks, email and icq numbers are listed rather messily)

Phoenix: Nah…I’m just looking.

Taim: Suit yourself. We’re always open for men who want to learn to channel or have the spark inborn.

Phoenix: Right… I’ll be going now. Bye. (thinks: No commitments!)

(They waves bye to him as Phoenix eagerly and with great haste, leaves the ‘Black Tower’)

Phoenix: Whew! I don’t know what I’ve been eating or breathing, but this…

(Suddenly, a person/animal/??? jumps out of the bushes and knocks him to the ground, pinning him down)

Phoenix: What?

???: Shh! You have been chosen for a great task. That is why you were brought here, to see what must happen.

Phoenix: Who the hell are you and what are you talking about?

(??? lets him get up. He sees that it’s a rather short woman in a black leather catsuit)

???: I’m Blackthorne. Come. We’ll talk as we walk.

(They walk across the street to the empty playground and park. Suddenly, about 50 children (mostly boys, although there were a couple of girls) are there, play-fighting with each other until the eyes of two older boys, one tall with glasses, the other a little shorter and broader in frame. There are also ‘White Tower’ girls in their ‘White Tower’ school uniforms (kilt sewn and rolled up high and dress shirt partly unbuttoned for some of the older girls) watching the older boys, winking and giggling now and again.)

Phoenix: Will you explain clearly to me what’s going on? Why am I having such a messed dream?

Blackthorne: This is Dragonmount. (she gestured widely) A virtual community that you will create. It is composed of dedicated WoT fans and will become the largest of the organized WoT internet communities. In time, others will copy you and thus creating a new revolution in online fan-based communities.

Phoenix: What? What is WoT? (Blackthorne starts to explain, but he cuts her off) I’m not that great! I haven’t got the time to do that or the resources! Besides, (blushes) me make a fan site for whatever WoT is… No… That’s not me.

Blackthorne: Phoenix, listen to me. Taim will guide you. Mandarb will bring you graphics. Your Black Sun friends can help you. If you built it and advertise on Yahoo, they will come.

Phoenix: Wait a minute! I’m arguing with a figment of my imagination! This is crazy! This is my dream! I can control it!

(Blackthorne sighs and patiently crosses her arms as Phoenix closes his eyes tightly)

Phoenix: (mutters feverantly) I want to be safe at home in my own bed. I want to be safe at home in my own bed. (opens his eyes) Damn. You’re not going to let me go easy, will you? (starts to do his classic Phoenix Pout™)

Blackthorne: Stop that. You should know by now that the Pout™ doesn’t work on me.

Phoenix: Alright. (stops pouting) So why does this Dragon-whatchamacallit look so dorky?

Blackthorne: (explaining too patiently) Because you haven’t read the books yet; your mind cannot even imagine the grandeur of the White Tower, the Black Tower with its chickens, Shayol Ghul…

Phoenix: Hey, that’s a cool-sounding place. Where’s that?

(She points to a giant teepee on an escarpment to the north of the park; smoke trails out of the top of it constantly)

Blackthorne: (sighs) Your mental image of Shayol Ghul is really killing the other Chosen. Sammy was choking and Dem dripping of sweat last time I went in there. Men! (sniff) Too damn stubborn for their own good.

Phoenix: Oh, sorry. (shuffles his feet) So who are the Chosen?

Blackthorne: The Chosen are the bad guys. They consist of Dem, Sammy, Ishy and I.

Phoenix: Oh, okay. I suppose that bad guys are necessary for a well-rounded community. But why are you telling me all this? What do you get?

Blackthorne: (smiles) Oh, that’s the good ol’ Phoenix we know! Well, if you don’t build it, none of this will exist. I will have never existed, except on icq and the wheeloftime.org and .com message boards. (pauses) And my icq contact list would have been much smaller. I don’t want to die; that’s why I joined the bad guys.

Phoenix: Oh. (pause) Doesn’t anyone else care? (thinks: Great. What sort of people are they?) Blackthorne: (purses her lips) Well… The Asha’man are already half-crazy, so they’re… occupied. Kathana’s busy eating all the chocolate puddings and jellybeans she can find in Dragonmount. The Warders just practice for the Aes Sedai all-day and the Aes Sedai watch the Warders and Asha’men all-day, looking for some easy bonding prey or just looking. Well, feeding the occasional one grapes and wearing flimsy dresses as well. Us evil people threaten people and attack people all-day and the Wolfbrothers are busy hunting or getting accidentally mistaken for being an Asha’man or Warder and coming home bonded.

Phoenix: (really overwhelmed) Kathana? Aes Sedai? Wolfbrothers? (thinks: Please, wake up now!)

Blackthorne: (pats his arm) There, there. You have only yourself to blame for the complexity of the orgs. But it will all come clear in time. Hopefully.

Phoenix: (sighs) Why? Why me? (thinks: Definitely making Wolfbrothers non-applicable for Warders)

Blackthorne: Because you have a neat-sounding alias.

(At this time, there is a howling from the mini woods and a bunch of men come out.)

‘White Tower’ girl: Whitewolf!

Whitewolf: Nynaeve!

(They hug and run off to the playground together)

‘White Tower’ young woman: Darks! Come here! Supper’s ready!

Darksmoon: Okay, be right there, Chissa! (turns to the other men, sans Whitewolf) Okay, remember that we are Wolfbrothers first and Warders second! We must remain free and runs wild in the forests, beside our brothers and sisters, protecting Nature and trees and…

Chissa: Darks, if you don’t come now, I won’t let you go outside tomorrow!

Darksmoon: Sorry guys. I have to go. (runs towards Chissa)

Phoenix: Why does that look wrong to me?

Blackthorne: (shrugs) I don’t know. Whatever works. It’s good as long as Chissa and Darks are happy.

(Phoenix frowns. thinks: Ohmygod! I operate a dating service?!)

Darksmoon: Oh Blackie! Will you run with me in the forest tomorrow?

Blackthorne: Sorry Darksmoon. I’m busy tomorrow trying to rule the world.

(Darksmoon pouts outrageously; she blows a kiss to him. It lands with a SMACK! on his nose.)

Darksmoon: Thanks! (grins) If you stopped giving me kisses, I think I’d have to start begging every girl in Dragonmount for kisses!

(At Chissa’s glare, he runs to catch up with her)

Phoenix: (frowns) I’m not too sure I want to run a place like this…

Blackthorne: Oh Phoenix, don’t be silly. DM runs itself like an engine. Well, it does require the odd amount of greasy complaint email though.

Phoenix: Really? Why am I not surprised? (thinks: Boy, that must have been some old cheese puffs.)

(Blackthorne frowns when the earth starts to heave)

Blackthorne: Oh you nit-wit! You just had to do that, didn’t you?

Phoenix: Me?

Blackthorne: Yes, you! When you lose faith in Dragonmount, Dragonmount starts to disappear. First the chickens vanished, then the flimsy dresses. I bet the chocolate pudding is probably gone by now too. (Shrieks of outrage are heard) Yup. You really did it this time. Good thing the Hall thought ahead and hog-tied her in Roland’s room. He’ll take good care of her. But I’m disgressing; this is only a dream. But reality sometimes can be a dream and dreams can sometimes become reality.

Voice3: The ShadowSouled one speaks truth.

(Standing behind them is your typical Aiel Clan Chief)

Voice3: I thought you would forget to show him our Clan.

Blackthorne: Drats! I knew I was forgetting someone. Phoenix this is the dream manifestation of Mandarb, the Paint Shop God and Clan Chief of the Dragonmount Aiel.

(They exchange greetings)

Mandarb: Would you care to visit the Waste? It’s just two miles to the east. (points with his spear)

Phoenix: (thinks: Okay, I’m out of here! And I don’t care if I dream of pink elephants and purple turtles all night long) Um… Not really. I’m starting to get tired of this dream. I mean, dreams are supposed to last for 3 minutes to 10 minutes. This must be at least a half hour one. I have other dreams to dream and people to see. Bye! Nice meeting you both! (runs for his life)

Nordan: (on the front porch of the ‘Black Tower’ with Therva) There goes one messed-up Dragon Reborn and Creator.

Therva: Yeah. I always thought there was something funny about him. I guess I should have tried to Heal him or had Blackthorne do some Complusion on him to make him believe.

Nordan: Wouldn’t Lanfir’s Warder Trick™ or Narell’s Grape Twist™ work just as well.

Therva: Nah, he’s a just-about-taken man. Too strong-willed and committed to fall for those.

Nordan: Oh.

Kathana: (yells from the window) No, Phoenix, no!!! Come back! I can’t hold off Roland any longer! I need my pudding and jellybeans! You flagstaff you!!! (sticks her tongue out)

Blackthorne: (sighs) Well, it’s time for the secret weapon. (nods to a ‘White Tower’ young woman in a white dress) You know what you have to do. All of Dragonmount depends on you. Go. (kisses the other woman on the brow) If you fail, all is lost.

(The other woman nods and makes a gateway to a dark place)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Phoenix suddenly appears in a devoid place with the night sky alone as a backdrop)

Phoenix: Well, at least I’m away from those crazy people and that crazy dream.

Voice4: Phoenix…

(A beautiful woman in a white dress slowly materializes, bathed in a soft white light)

Phoenix: (mesmorized) Who are you?

White Lady: Dragonmount is now gone. All that is left is this empty void where once a whole world of rich characters once lived. (sadly sighs) And me. I am the only left now, a memory of a dream.

Phoenix: Well, what can I do?

White Lady: Well, you can start by naming me. Then you must re-create Dragonmount again. Imagine every detail, every taste and smell. I believe in you. Why won’t you believe in yourself?

Phoenix: I don’t know… Hey! What’s that ring on your hand? (She blushes and hides her hands behind her back) Hey! That’s… MAAA RIIINNN!!!

(A sudden burst of light blinds Phoenix)

Phoenix: AARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

(Phoenix wakes up, panting and dripping with sweat)

Phoenix: Where is she? …Oh. Wow, that was some dream. (gets up and throws the half-empty cheese puff bag in the garbage) Hehehe… Good riddance. But if I ever want a cheap hallucination again, I’ll remember to buy that brand. (goes back to bed) Hey… wait a moment… Where’s my ring? Oh no… I must have lost it… She’s gonna kill me. (groans) So that was what the dream was about. Yeah, I better work hard and buy a new one similar to it before she notices it gone.

(Phoenix has troubled sleep (well, with such a crisis, did you expect him to sleep well?) and gets up to go to work. As he arrives…)

Friendly Co-worker: (looks up from his computer) Hey… Did you lose a ring? The boss found one on the carpet of his office yesterday. He didn’t want the janitors to have it, so he kept it himself.

Phoenix: (thinks: I must have been tinkering with it as I discussed payment with him…) Yeah, it’s probably mine. Is he in?

Friendly Co-Worker: (resumes his browsing) Yup. Just got in.

Phoenix: Great! Oh, what are you looking at?

Friendly Co-Worker: Oh, at Amazon. They have Robert Jordan’s WoT series on sale.

Phoenix: What?!

Friendly Co-Worker: No, not ‘what’; W-o-T. Short for Wheel of Time.

Phoenix: Oh. (feels like an idiot) So, what’s it about?

Friendly Co-Worker: Don’t know; never read it. But it’s highly recommended, by the number of comments on the page.

Phoenix: Really? Well, maybe I should check it out. You know, something to do in between Star Wars books. (Boss steps out of his office; Phoenix suddenly remembers the dream) Ohmygoodness… It’s… Him… Taim.

Boss: You. (points to Phoenix) Is this your ring?

Phoenix: Um… Yes, sir. I think I dropped it in your office when…

Boss: …Ah, yes. Payment. We never did make a final agreement, did we? Let’s settle it now that I have some free time.

Phoenix: (gulps; thinks: Ohmygod! The DREAM!!!) Sure.

(The video sputters to an ending, flashing stills as the Host speaks)

Host: Ah, yes, that was Phoenix’s Dream. He was quite kind to allow us this opportunity to see the Beginning of Dragonmount from his POV. (camera turns to Phoenix, smiling and waving from a electrical chair-looking thingy with a big hand-painted sign that says: ‘Mind Reading Machine! Caution: Female Operators on Males Only! Machine will not operate under any other conditions!’ Alanna smiles glamorously from behind him. Audience applauds.)

Host: So to summarize from then on: Taim gave him the support and supplies to start building Dragonmount. Mandarb and Demandred also aided him.

(Snapshot of Phoenix hammering and putting up a large Chalkboard titled: The Main Board (in small print: subject to frequent Bravenet crashes. Use at your own risk!); Taim smiles and holds the ladder Phoenix is on. Then one of Demandred supervising the placement of Shayol Ghul; he motions to the left, the mountain moves right. Dem makes an ‘okay’ sign. Then one of Mandarb cutting paperback WoT covers and pasting the small images on a piece of paper and sticking big letters on top of it)

Host: Then Phoenix advertised on Yahoo. (Snapshot of Phoenix giving a briefcase to an undisclosed Yahoo employee)

Audience Member: Hey! That’s my Uncle John! No wonder he retired and went to Florida! (The rest of the audience shushes the member)

Host: Then the people came.

(Many quick snapshots: Lanfir posing with her Warders (veery happily); Kathana caught with the Spoon in her mouth and pudding cup in one hand; Narell in a flimsy dress (audience males ahhing); Ender being …pampered; Sathinar posing in a pigeon-infested town square (smiling happily); Hawkwing as he wakes up in the morning; Dark Blight sulking with hair in braids; Blackthorne in her Inn_Keeper phase; Morgan with Ranges and a pot of Mint Tea™; Darksmoon caught without his yellow contact lenses; Ben posing heroically as Serafelle looks on (quite amused and thinking up ways for him to heroically carry books) and last, but never least, a group shot of all the Oldies, without anyone being harmed)

Host: Oh yes, the people came. The original ones were the pioneers, they found a niche and made it their own. They brought the WT, BT, Forest of Wolves Message Boards, Blackthorne’s Tavern/chat room ‘The Spring of Morning’, the trend of character pics and title-inventing. Oh yes, and the Breaking. Now Phoenix has created a Role Playing Game. Who knows what lies in store for the future of this online community that is growing by leaps and bounds?

FLICK. FLICK.

“And the news tonight, a bombing…”

FLICK.

“You never listen! I..”

FLICK.

“Stay bright! Stay right! With Star-Light in your wash! Now in Mint Flavour!”

FLICK. FLICK.

“Oh, bugger it all. There’s nothing on tonight and I don’t feel like studying.”

BEEP.

(Irritating boat horn sound)

UH-OH.

“Eh? It’s Blackie… She’s writing another story? Brill, I like her stories.”

Typity, typity, typity, type

UH-OH.

“‘Hawkwing, you only have a minor role this time and I’m picking on Lanfir and Dark Blight less this time. I’m trying to even out the roles, but Phoenix is the principal guy.’ Oh, drats. I was looking forward to seeing myself.”

(Drinking noises)

“Well, if she’s not going to be ready until tomorrow, I won’t stay home waiting. Me mates await.”

BEEP.

BLINK.

Scene 1

(The usual scene at The Spring of Morning; Alardin, Ishamael, Lanfir, Morgan, Yveva, Leane and Toman are in the Tavern, drinking their respectable drinks, when a Tall and Ta’veren-ish Visitor enters.)

TTV: (walks to the bar) I’d like some milk. (ignores Lanfir and Morgan’s mint tea induced laughter)

The_Innkeeper: Um, sure hun. Drink that up and you’ll grow big and…tall as an Aiel.

(à Corß looks up from her seat on the pillows)

à Corß : Blackthorne, you require my services to make this TTC, er, TTV grow taller? (suddenly laughs) Did I ever tell you this joke about the Roof Mistress and the copper snake? One day…

The_Innkeeper: (quickly) I think you did. Thank you, right arrow-Cor-left arrow, but I can handle this TTV myself. (turning to the TTV) So what brings a man such as yourself to an Tavern in the middle of Nowhere?

TTV: /w The_Innkeeper Actually, I suddenly remembered that I’ve never been here before and it’s on my own site.

The_Innkeeper: /w TTV (sighs) That’s not good. You have to keep on top of these things, Phoenix. (grins)

TTV: /w The_Innkeeper I know, but I’ve been busy lately with real life stuff. And with the Breaking.

TTV: Oh, I’ve been busy chasing an item stolen from Fal Dara. (leans closely) Have you heard about any Shadowspawn in the area? Or a man with a dagger named Sathinar?

(Alardin and Ishamael stare at each other)

(Leane and Toman stare at each other for another reason)

(Morgan and Lanfir speak Dutch to each other* and Lanfir falls off her chair, giggling

*see the abilities given to mass consumers of Mint Tea? Mind you, Lanfir could do that already quite well.)

(Garatt_Jax bursts into the room)

Garatt_Jax: I’ve finally found you!

TTV: Um, really?

Garatt_Jax: Oh, Shadar isn’t in here? Drats.

à Corß : I see you, Garatt Jax.

Morgan and Lanfir: Hej Garatt!* (*Lanfir and Morgan have evolved to the next level of Mint Tea mass consumption: speaking fluent Swedish)

Garatt_Jax: No you don’t. I’m wearing a Warder’s cloak. I’m invisible.

Alardin: Why?

Garatt_Jax: Haven’t you read my stories? They’re at www.something.com (no addies named to protect people’s identities).

Alardin: No.

Garatt_Jax: (dramatic sigh) You people…No courtesy at all. I wear a Warder’s cloak because I was nearly eaten by Trollorcs and a Warder saved me! Why won’t you people understand?

Alardin: (shrugs) Sorry. (orders a beer; The_Innkeeper asks for some id)

The_Innkeeper: Chill, my good man. Have a sandwich.

Garatt_Jax: No. I’m not hungry.

The_Innkeeper: (glares at Jax) Eat.

(Ishamael takes the time to poison the rats in the garbage behind the Tavern for No Particular Reason)

(Lanfir and Morgan giggle and draw pictures with the mint tea leaves)

(The_Innkeeper finally convinces Garatt_Jax to take a bagged lunch on his way out into the Real World)

(Arik_Korpin enters the Tavern)

Arik_Korpin: Hi everyone!

Lanfir and Morgan: Hej Arik!

Arik_Korpin: Du tala Svenskt? Vad har du varit dricka?* (*translation: You speak Swedish? What have you been drinking?) Hey, wait a moment. I’m from Norway. I’m not supposed to understand this. (eyes the Mint Tea carefully) Ciara didn’t tell me this was what we had at breakfast.

(Lanfir and Morgan grins up at him)

(Arik sighs and sit down by Alardin, away from the ladies)

(Leane and Toman are still rapt with each other)

Ishamael: (stands up) I proclaim this here Tavern to be my own!

(Everyone ignores him)

Ishamael: What? No challengers? Drat. (sits back down)

(Jon’atha totters down the stairs to the Common Room)

Jon’atha: The Light bless you all!

(Everyone ignores him, except Lanfir and Morgan)

Lanfir and Morgan: Og du for, Fader Jon’atha*. (translation: And you too, Father Jon’atha. Yes, this is Danish. Lanfir and Morgan are slowly working back up to Dutch and English. Withdrawal from Mint Tea is a slow process)

(à Corß looks at the Aes Sedai’s strange reference to 24’s, then shrugs and resumes her mental practice of Aiel jokes for the next gleeman that comes by the Tavern)

(Alardin looks up because his mug is empty and he wants to know where the Fade is or why Jon’atha is a Fade)

(The TTV decides to leave)

TTV: Sorry everyone. It’s my birthday today. (Hehehehe) I have some important business to do…I’m going to Taco Bell.

Everyone, including Leane and Toman: What?

The_Innkeeper: /w TTV Is it really, Phoenix? Why didn’t you tell me?! I would have sent a card!

TTV: /w The_Innkeeper Yup. (Hehehehe) I didn’t want my email account to get stuffed.

The_Innkeeper: /w TTV I could have sent one via snail mail, you know. I still have your address.

TTV: /w The_Innkeeper No, that’s okay. (Hehehe)(mental note to self: Move soon. Explain to girlfriend that a psycho from DM has my address and wants to kill me)

The_Innkeeper: /w TTV If you say so. What’s so special about Taco Bell, anyway? (mental note to self: Tell everyone to send Phoenix b-day cards. When it’s my b-day, tell everyone to send me cards. Email ones though; some psycho in California already has my real life addy)

TTV: (forgets to whisper) Nothing at all. Forget that I mentioned it.

(Ishamael gets a keg of Vodka for himself)

(Leane and Toman disappear into Real Life)

Jon’atha: Did I mention I had the strangest dream?

The_Innkeeper: No, you didn’t. Do tell.

Jon’atha: I kept dreaming that Square made a Wheel of Time rpg. Phoenix had spiky hair and carried this big sword, Maarin wore this pink outfit and her hair had this white ribbon in it with a pale green rock, Dem had white hair and Darksmoon was smoking cigarettes and swearing like there was no tomorrow!

The_Innkeeper: Wasn’t I in it? (pouts and sulks)

Jon’atha: Yes, you were in fact. You ran a bar called the Seventh Heaven and wore… (blushes)

The_Innkeeper: Nice clothes?

Jon’atha: Hmmm? Oh, yes. There were quite…nice. (has a quick sip of his drink)

The_Innkeeper: Anything else? I mean, no crystals or airships or chocobos or moogles?

Jon’atha: (eyes glazing over) Yes…Crystals to seal the Dark One, Zeromus…Phoenix and Maarin and Darks and you traveled to the Last Battle in an airship called The Big Highwind Blackjack Falcon-Whale…Chocobos were these Aiel Waste and Blight birdies and the moogles…(drools)…I never knew…in steddings…

The_Innkeeper: Last call before the Tavern closes for the night!

Morgan: (lifts a finger delicately) I would like a pot of Mint Tea please.

Lanfir: Me too! All the bags I stole from my fav café are gone!

(Note: Morgan and Lanfir have recovered enough from their daily massive Mint Tea intake to speak English until their next hit, er, cup, pot, whatever)

Ishamael: I wonder where they went off to, hmm? Remember, resistance to the Shadow has its price. (poses in grand Ishy style)

Lanfir and Morgan: You! You’re the one who sank the Sea Folk ships that supply the Green Ajah so we have to drink the Shayol Ghul blend!

Serafelle: (sips daintly from her cup of jolly ol’Earl Grey in the corner) Of course. It only makes sense from the evidence.

Lanfir: (glares at Serafelle) You’ve been drinking too much of that Grey tea the White(s) like so much! Go read a book and regain your Brown fogginess!

(Note: See what Mint Tea Withdrawal™ does to the usually polite and friendly Lanfir! Know the dangers! Learn the signs! Talk to your Accepted about it! If you or a channeling friend is developing these signs, go talk to your Mother or an adult mentor or any adult that you trust! Brought to you by the Aes sedai and Gaidin and Extras Learning to Exist and Survive Successfully Not Eating Such Substances (AGELESSNESS))

Serafelle: Well! I’ll never…If that’s what you think, I’ll…I’ll study Dark Prophecies and tell you about the future of your warders. Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot you lost one of your three ‘Darks’. (Aes Sedai sneer) And you know what? I might even decide to become the Aes Sedai Saruman! I’ll become Evil Sera! Mwa hahaha!

(Serafelle runs out of the Tavern cackling in Sathinar style)

Ranges: (taking a sip) That’s one strange sister, sister. Sitter. (looks at his drink intently; apparently the Mint Tea is still affecting him through the bond with Morgan, or maybe it’s a Dutch reaction to Mint Tea thing)

Ranges: (stands up) Hark! I hear wolves!

(Everyone looks at Ranges strangely)

Ranges: Er…Sorry. False alarm. (sits down; stands up) No, there they are again! Nope, they’re gone…(sits down, then stands) Aha! It’s not wolves! It’s Darksmoon!

(Darksmoon runs in and shuts the door behind him, looking frantic)

Darksmoon: Somebody hide me! She’s after me!

The_Innkeeper: (brings him a brandy) Calm down. Who’s after you?

Darksmoon: (gulps down the brandy and coughs) Her…Chissa! She’s brought the entire Tower with her to capture me! She says that I ran away from the bond!

Morgan: (sniffs) Did you?

Darksmoon: No…Not really. I left an email. (ignores the gasps and looks of ‘You Idiot!’ from everyone else) What? I explained everything.

Lanfir: So I bonded a bonded man?

Darksmoon: (shuffles his feet) Yeah…technically. But my heart will always be with you.

Everyone: Aw…

(Chissa bursts into the room)

Chissa: Where’s my Darks? Ah, there you are!

Lanfir: Stand back! He’s my Darks now! I need him for my collection, er, for my protection! (stands between Darksmoon and Chissa)

Chissa: Lanfir, you dare to disobey the Keeper of the Chocolate Pudding?

Lanfir: (sneers) I never liked your pudding anyway! It had too many lumpy bits!

Jon’atha: (recovers from his emotional dream) Sisters, peace. Let’s not fight over one measly man.

Chissa: You’re right. We’ll fight over all our Warders. Winner takes all the bonds.

Lanfir: Deal!

(They shakes hands)

Darksmoon: Um…How are you going to fight over me?

Lanfir: Isn’t it obvious?! Paper, rock, scissors!

Chissa: (nods) The best of three. Innkeeper, please ref.

(Everyone crowds around the ladies and watches, Jarron_al_Tanin walks in unnoticed, with a bruise on his face)

The_Innkeeper: /w Jarron_al_Tanin What happened to you, Phoenix?

Jarron_al_Tanin: /w The_Innkeeper That little dog at Taco Bell packs a mean punch. Please, that’s all I’m willing to tell.

The_Innkeeper: /w Jarron_al_Tanin (lol) You wimp!

Jarron_al_Tanin: (groans)

The_Innkeeper: Ready? One, two, three!

(Chissa and Lanfir both have rock)

The_Innkeeper: One, two, three!

(Both have paper)

The_Innkeeper: One, two, three!

(Both have scissors)

Chissa: Urgh! This is impossible!

Lanfir: Why don’t we just share him?

Chissa: Hmmm…That is the only logical thing to do. Shall we?

Lanfir: Let’s.

(Smiling, they take each of Darksmoon’s arms and lead him upstairs)

Darksmoon: (whispers, grinning as he passes Alardin) 2cst.

(Alardin stamps his feet in frustration)

The_Innkeeper: (shakes her head) You don’t see that every day. Okay, it’s closing time!

(Sam_d_ma_Shadar appears for the sole purpose of going upstairs to Blackthorne’s room)

The_Innkeeper: Bye! (leaves)

Morgan: /w Ranges You think she’ll ever write about this?

Ranges: /w Morgan Probably. Hopefully, I’ll be wandering somewhere in Europe and I’ll never know.

Morgan: /w Ranges You’re so lucky.

Ranges: /w Morgan (grins) I know. (has a cup of Mint Tea)

Scene 2

(The White Tower that night)

Sathinar: Teehee! With all the Aes Sedai knocked out with Mint Tea or asleep in the Spring of Morning, Kathana’s totally unprotected. Now’s my chance to start a role-playing thread by kidnapping Kathana!

(Sathinar climbs the Tower walls)

Sathinar: Boy! This is a lot of work! There’s got to be an easier way!

(He sees the pudding dummy lift)

Sathinar: Teehee! I’ll climb in there and have Kathana do all the work!

(He gets into the lift and rings the bell, signaling a pudding delivery for the Mother. Unbeknownest to Sathinar, Kathana has a bad habit of sleep walking)

Kathana: Mommy…I want some more pudding…Bad girl, Kathana…But I like chocolate…(snarf)(snap)(starts pulling up the lift in her sleep)

Sathinar: Teehee! It’s working!

(The lift rumbles slowly up to the Mother’s room)

Kathana: Mmmm…Thank you…I like caramel too…(she opens the lift doors and takes one of Sathinar’s fingers and bites it)

Sathinar: Ouch! Wake up, you silly pudding pusher! I’m no Gollum! (nurses his finger protectively)

Kathana: (wakes up) What are you thinking, waking a sleep walking woman?! Are you mad? Oh, I forgot. Sorry. Mmmm…I had a tasty dream…

Sathinar: (waves his finger) I know. (pouts)

Kathana: Anyway, what are you doing here?

Sathinar: Well, I came to kidnap you to start an RP thread.

Kathana: Really? That’s so sweet! Why me?

Sathinar: (cough) Well, you are the Amyrlin Seat. Lots of sisters would have to post if I took off with you.

Kathana: Hmmm…That is true. Come in.

(They enter her study)

Kathana: Okay, you can kidnap me. But I have conditions. One is that we have to leave smart and cunning clues everywhere to people to find us. Two, we have to hide in the last place for anyone to suspect, in the Ways…

Sahtinar: Hmmm, I was thinking on a Sea Folk ship myself, but the Ways will do.

Kathana: (ignoring Sathinar) And three, we whine whenever people start to lose interest in getting me back. Because I’m afraid that they might not rescue me, preferring to elect a new Amyrlin instead.

Sathinar: (nods) Yes, that’s always a problem. But what should I kidnap you for?

Kathana: (trying to be helpful) A truckload of Magic Moments™? The ter’angreal that makes pudding? I’ll split the reward with you.

Sathinar: Naw, that’s too easy. (thinks) Teehee! I have it! All the ter’angreal, sa’angreal and angreal in the Tower!

Kathana: (pouts) You sure you don’t want the pudding?

Sathinar: Yes. Besides, the Tower doesn’t carry low-fat pudding.

Kathana: (eyes narrow) What do you mean by that?

Sathinar: Um…nothing. Shall we leave a note and leave for the Land of Madmen? No sense going into the Ways when no one’s going to be rescuing you yet. We can get a tan and play under the tropical sun. (smiles) Or watch the Warders practicing in the Yard, so beautiful in her forms…

Kathana: Sure. (mutters something about Warders being too much trouble and scribbles a letter to Chissa quickly) Okay! The letter’s done!

Sathinar: ‘To Chissa’? That girl’s not going to see that letter for at least a week! She’s far too occupied in seeing that Lanfir and her share Darks equally.

Kathana: (grins) I know. More time for me to relax in the Real World.

Sathinar: (sighs) You’re one f*cked-up and intelligent and pudding-loving woman, Seat.

Kathana: Thanks Chair. Let’s go! I need an escape from the Georgian sunshine!

(Kathana and Sathinar leave for Washington, where Sathinar gets his swimsuit and camera, and then they go the Land of Madmen (Australia and New Zealand) for a vacation)

Scene 3

(At Shayol Ghul. Demandred is speaking with his people)

Demandred: (on his cell phone) Lanfear honey, we know you hate this work-with-Aes-Sedai deal, but please, do it for me, baby. I’ll negotiate a new deal tomorrow, I promise. Have I ever lied to you? But…Yes, but…Lanfear, as Nae’blis I order you! What? You don’t care?! That’s coming straight out of your pay, missy! Watch your mouth! I…Okay. Bye! Damned Chosen today, demanding too much of a cut on raiding trips these days. Why, when Blackthorne was here, we had the Aes Sedai looking over their shoulders all the time. (laughs) It was cool! Now look what I’ve got! Prima donnas and no-shows! (sighs) Being Nae’blis is hard on a man.

(The phone rings) What?! This is great! I’ll send them over, right away! (quickly dials a number) Ishamael, Lanfear, get here right now! Kathana’s been kidnapped, all the Aes Sedai are either hung over with Mint Tea or stuck at Blackthorne’s Inn, Phoenix is nursing a bad encounter with a little dog and tacos and Blackthorne herself is unguarded! We can get the good guys for once! (clicks the phone off) (grins) This is so cool!

(Demandred and his imaginary army of Shadowspawn arrive at the Tower. Lanfear and Ishamael show up late because they want to show Dem that they won’t be pushed around)

Demandred: Okay, just open the gates. I know it’s just women and Warders in there.

Matalina: (whispers to Ben) How does he know that?

Ben: (grins) I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?

(Tari hides her cell phone in her pouch and shrugs when Matalina looks at her bondholder)

Matalina: Here me, Demandred! As a vocal member of the Warders’ Org, I hereby declare you as a bad guy and will kick your behind because I’m a good guy. You have one minute to put down your phone and take your invisible army back with you! (to Ben) Was that good?

Ben: (grins) Yeah, but next time, add in something about the Calvary.

Matalina: What Calvary?

Ben: (grins) You know, Dem’s alter-ego, Serak’s Calvary.

Matalina: Oh, yeah. Gee, this is going to be fun to see Dem’s shadowspawn and his Calvary going up against each other. (grins)

Ben: (grins) I know. I guess we’ll stand here and watch while Dem’s personalities battle it out. Oh, and for dramatic purposes, I’ll get myself cut and have a fever. You know, fever meaning love symbolically. Sera can ‘heal’ me of my fever. Get it?

Matalina: In all due respect, sir, you’re crazy.

Ben: (grins) Thank you, Mata. You’re the first DM person to say that to me, face to face.

(Everyone FIGHTS. Some people get injured. Ender loses an eye, Blackthorne loses her memory, Narell loses the One Power, Yveva loses some One Power Items)

Demandred: (on his cell phone) What? Lanfear and Ishamael got written in as captured by the White Tower? Darksmoon came back and has gained the ability to negate Power weaves from Mint Tea consumption and a Jedi Mind trick? (looks at his watch) Drat! I have an essay to write and we’re losing! Okay everyone! This war never happened! I balefired the war out of existence! Except that Blackthorne lost her memory and I stole this Indigo watch. (he plays with the light)

Blackthorne: Cool. (resumes her recovering sleep to gain Sam’s pity and love)

Narell: For Christ’s sake! Forget it! I want to remain severed! And Ender will keep his missing eye! (grins fondly) I like him better this way and Francesca stays away from him too.

Ender: (grins from his seat, surrounded by giggling Accepted and Green and Yellow sisters, who are watching him purely to check how his eye is healing. Honest.) Plus, I get to ogle at women all day long without punishment! Oh, can I remain a prisoner? This is fun. I don’t want to go back to the Black Tower. Free beer isn’t worth no chicks.

Tari: What?! I betrayed my sisters and Mother for nothing?! Er…You didn’t hear that. (tosses the cell phone into a well)

Demandred: Well, that’s life. I can’t unbalefire time. Bye all. No hard feelings.

(A letter floats down from the heavens)

Ben: (reads it outloud) ‘You silly Children! Why won’t you rescue me? Oh, the pain! Oh, the suffering! I’m in a place with flowers and a lovely tropical climate. I go swimming every day. Oh, don’t you people Walk in the Light? Can’t you see what he’s putting me through? Lots of love, Kathana, who is still Amyrlin Seat, because Lanfir and Kaleyra’s elections are illegal. P.S. Why didn’t you just toss Blackthorne to Demandred? That was the sensible thing to do. (sigh) Oh the silly things you people do when I’m away! Send more pudding, Chissa. Sathinar keeps stealing the low-fat vanilla ones.’

Matalina: Now that Dem’s gone back to Shayol Ghul, does anyone want to go and save her? (dead silence) Anyone?

(Darksmoon emerges from the Tower, tucking in his shirt)

Darksmoon: Hej! Vad gjorde JAG missa? (realizing everyone’s looking at him strangely, he repeats himself) Hey! What did I miss?

Ben: (grins) Well, quite a bit. Read this.

(Darksmoon reads the letter)

Darksmoon: So? She’s in the Ways near Shadar Logoth.

Serafelle: Um, how do you figure that.

Darksmoon: Simple. It has flowers and that’s the place that Sathinar would take her to. (grins at his solution)

Serafelle: And the swimming part?

Darksmoon: (looks at Serafelle strangely) Swimming in air when Sathinar drops her off the bridges, of course. Anyone want to join Lanfir and me in looking for her in the Ways?

(All silent, except for Ciara)

Ciara: Me! Me! I’ve never seen the Ways before! And that yucky Black Wind!

Darksmoon: Okay, you can come. Just promise to not sing unless I give you the signal.

Ciara: Okay. What’s the signal!

Darksmoon: When I throw this kipper off the bridge.

Laurelann: Did someone say kippers? I like those. Too many bloody bones though.

(Her head pops in through a Gateway from Real Life briefly)

Okralord: Howdy! Laurelann, when will I see you again?

Laurelann: Hopefully sometime before the end of the year. It’s so hard, finding net access and time. (looks at her watch) Oh! Got to push off! See you all some time in the future! Farewell my Gaidin.

(Laurelann fades out)

Okralord: (sobs) Don’t go! Don’t leave me alone!

Darksmoon: (pats Okralord on the shoulder) There, there. I’m sort of an expert on Aes Sedai. She’s English and you’re a Texan. It was never meant to be.

(Okralord trembles and hurries to the little Warder’s room before he cries over the loss of his bondholder (again))

Lanfir: (sighs) Damn. Another good Warder bites the dust. (brightens up) Maybe I can take him under my wing?! (hurries after Okralord)

Darksmoon: Okay, let’s go. Um, Lanfir? We’re leaving!

Lanfir: (muffled) I’m coming! Just wait one more minute!

Darksmoon: (rolls his eyes) Are you bonding him or not?

Lanfir: (loud whisper) No! Don’t say the b-word! You might upset him and spoil seconds of work!

(Lanfir emerges, wiping her hands)

Lanfir: There! He’s all set for some caring, loving and responsible sister to pick up!

Yveva: You bonded another one?

Lanfir: No…I tied him up.

(Lanfir, Darksmoon and Ciara finally go and save Kathana. Peace is restored to the Tower. Pudding is ate and much celebrating is done by all. This would be a happy ending except for…)

Scene 4

(A Bonfire outside of the Black Tower)

Kagato: (roasting a hot dog) How come we weren’t invited to the big party at Kathana’s house?

Taimandred: (making s’mores) Because we didn’t help out at the Battle or try to save Kathana.

Kagato: Oh yeah. M’Hael forbid us to. (his hot dog is on fire) Light! NO!!! (hurries to channel the fire out) Whoo! That was close. Sparky, here’s a hot dog.

(Sparky the Taco Bell dog barks and eats the blackened hot dog. However, since he dared to attack the Lord Dragon, he will tomorrow be sent by the Black Tower to forage at the back of a Chinese restaurant in the Real World. Such things happen as the Wheel Turns)

Dark Blight: (has a drink from his mysterious clear liquid bottle) Hmp! I wasn’t even there to miss it! It’s not fair! (pouts outrageously)

Shadowkiller: (holding his beer can) Yeah, same here.

Hawkwing: (with two bottle at his feet) Ditto.

Dramon: Why are we complaining? We have lots of good stuff here! There’s free beer, lots of friends to hang out with, we can watch sports all day long…We don’t need to go to the Aes Sedai parties!

(All the others stare at him)

Dramon: What?

(Connor joins the bonfire group; all say hi, except the ones bonded to Green sisters; they say, ‘Hej!’)

Slaughterville: (from the shadows) I see you, Connor Bored-Message-Board-Creator

Taimandred: Hey! What did you just call Connor?

Slaughterville: (blinks) Connor Bored-Message-Board-Creator.

Taimandred: Is this true, Connor? You make message boards?

Connor: Well…I wouldn’t call myself a creator, too pompous that, but yes, I can make them.

Taimandred: (rubbing his hands together) I have an idea.

Hawkwing: What?

Taimandred: Why don’t you offer your services to Phoenix? Then you can rig the message boards so that they only work well for all the Black Tower Org members! It’s the perfect revenge!

Connor: (scratches his head) I don’t know about that…There are a lot of innocent bystanders involved.

Dark Blight: (stands up, wavering a little) Connor, as the most superior Asha’man present, I order you to do this.

Connor: (saluts) Yes, sir!

(Connor leaves to create the message boards. You all know the rest of the story. Connor forgot about the minor not-to-affect-the-BT-members detail and thus put everyone on equal ground.)

(Later that month)

Dark Blight: (click)(click) Why won’t this bloody thing work?! ARGH!!! I’m complaining to Phoenix and Connor. Something has to be done.

~The End?~