by Little Miss

Welcome to the section where you can get your monthly fill of:

“I can’t believe they just said that!” to the “LMAO! Now that was funny!” And let’s not forget the lovely ones that make you want to add, “That’s what she said…”

Now Ladies and Gentleman, please enjoy the random, nonsensical, and utterly delightful quotes of the month!

Quote from U4ea:
*laughs* Please tell me you’re legal…

Quote from mmeeshal:
The teenage girl in me just wants to say:

INORITE? LIKE O MY GAWSH.

Quote from Al Jenn Mael:

Question: What is your favorite word?

Quote from Elgee:
here’syourcoffee

Quote from Naeann:
Boopsy… I know Lily is a green.. but where are her pants?

Quote from Barmacral:

Done better, done worse.

Quote from Barmacral:
Thats what she said.

Quote from Rasheta Ardashir:
I”m actually all in black today…my mom just wandered through and was like. “You know you should be wearing more color. I was like uhh why its Vday.” She sighed deeply. LOL

Quote from Elgee:
I’m pretty sure I’ve developed calluses on my butt from all the spankings from my Warders.

Hello and Welcome All to the interview of the Wonderful Kathana! In this month’s issue of Casefiles, we will press Kathana in hopes to see if perhaps she knows who killed Our Beloved Asmo… *shifty Eyes*

——

Pacing back and forth, novice skirt swishing slightly, Limi waited outside of Kathana’s Special Projects Manager Office. Sweat rolled down her face as stress racked her nerves at meeting such an esteemed member of Dragonmount, and the Amyrlin Emeritus no less. Hearing a rather pleasant sounding “Come in”, Limi stops her incessant pacing, takes a deep breath, and enters the office never retur– I mean… enters and takes a seat in front of the large cherry wood desk adorning the room. Chatting over some tea and mini sandwiches, the investigation interview got under way……

——-

Taking a small turkey sandwich, I rearrange my skirts to balance the small plate and note pad before beginning.

“Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule for us, we know you are a busy lady who does much to keep DM up and running. Now why don’t we start the questions? Tell me, do you have a favorite anniversary to celebrate?”

Taking a sip of her tea, she answered with a contemplative tone, “I suppose my wedding anniversary. I’m terrible at remembering dates, but my husband makes sure I know this one is coming and keeps my schedule clear.”

Nodding quickly and jotting it down, I press on. “Since your husband has to remind you of your anniversary, are you good at remembering any special or important days?”

She glances at what looks like an upside down desk calendar with a grimace on her face and says: “Me and the calendar aren’t usually on speaking terms, so no”.

Intrigued by the fact that there must be a certain date she doesn’t want to remember, I resist the urge to try and take a peak. Coughing and clear my throat, I try a different question. “So, since you have been with DM a while, what is your favorite past time on DM?”

She smiles at this and replies, “Currently, it’s lurking on the book discussion forums and getting an idea of what might be included in the WoT FAQ”.

Smiling back, I make a mental note to see what the facts on the killer of Asmodean were, before bouncing to the next question, “Now tell me, do you have one day do you wish people remembered more?” Looking around, what looks to be a little nervously, she pauses before answering me. “I really have no idea how to answer this one.”

Keeping my composure the best I can, I nod and try not to fidget from the billion other accusing questions burning to be asked. Instead, I take another sip of my tea and ask, “So, do you have a favorite thing you like to receive for remembrance? (I.e. getting a rose on your “such and such” every year, or some certain item every year)?” She points to and looks lovingly to an elegant vase on her desk and replies, “My husband is pretty good about surprising me with flowers for Valentines every year. It seems like I turn around and there are roses on the table that weren’t there before.” Pausing to think she adds, “The only other thing I can think of that qualifies would be that I make an effort to get my nails done before a convention. I find it very soothing. “

Trying not to mutter about how cool and calm this woman was, I bring up the next question I have jotted down. “If you could move a holiday to a different season of the year which would you move and why?”

She smiles and says, “Not a holiday per say, but I’d move Dragon*Con to a summer month so I’m not working the week before it. It would make my life so much easier.”

I take another sandwich while I peruse my list, and peg one that may give me another hint. “So, what days have special meaning for you?”

She promptly replies, “Fridays. Those are activity days at school, so I always have a good time. We played Quidditch this week.”

Trying to cover my grimace of disappointment, I try another way, “Are there any places have special meaning for you?” *cough-Caemlyn-cough*

She gives me a funny look before answering, “I feel a strong attachment to any hotel I’ve been in for a convention. The Hyatt Regency in Atlanta especially feels like a second home to me.”

I stifle a sigh and end the conversation on a happier note, “Alright, last question, what foods have special memories for you?”

A happy smile blossoms across her face and she says, “Chocolate pudding”.

Running out of question, I finish up the interview, and thank her again while giving her a curtsie and scurry off to finish my novice duties.

Well Folks, looks like the “obvious” suspect in Asmodean’s death has yet to be discovered… Stay tuned next month to find out more!

Nurit: Good evening, everybody. I am here once again, to open your eyes to the real and exciting world of the WoT characters. Who did what? Who said what? Who farted and let Lan take the blame? Let me open the skeleton closet and smack you with some pelvic bones. Now, please, welcome our one and only, our very own, Perrin Golden Eyes!

*Perrin comes onto the stage and sits down*

Perrin: That was quite a speech, Nurit. Oh, and Lord.

Nurit: Lord what?

Perrin: Lord Perrin Golden Eyes. God would be nice too, but I guess compromise is the way of life.

Nurit: Well, aren’t we the confident ones. What brought up this personality change, Perrin?

Perrin: I finally grew a pair, that’s what.

Nurit: Yes. I’m trying to think about something cruder, but yeah…nothing comes to mind. So, I’ll just let it slide and move on. So, how did it feel the first time you realized you were…different?

Perrin: It was hard. I suddenly realized that I was going through some changes. I had different urges, different cravings. But there was no turning back. I couldn’t resist it. I had to admit to myself that I’m….attracted to men.

Nurit: You’re what?!?!

Perrin: Why do you look so surprised? You asked about it, so I assumed you knew.

Nurit: I was talking about you being able to talk to wolves O_O

Perrin: Oh, that! Just woke up one day and, surprise! yellow uber cool eyes. Plus I get to eavesdrop on wolfie love conversations. They are a horny bunch.

Nurit: How did Faile take up the news about you being…gay?

Perrin: Faile?

Nurit: Yes, Faile. Your wife. She was kidnapped and you gathered an army to rescue her, remember?

Perrin: Oh, that. I was going through a phase. Done now *smiles*

Nurit: So, you’re going to leave her to her fate?

Perrin: *looks at his notebook* Yes.

Nurit: What is that notebook?

Perrin: Oh, this is my answer notebook. Sometimes I get blackouts and slow thinking so I have some general responses written down to help me in times of crisis.

Nurit: What kind of responses?

Perrin: Oh, the usual. Yes, no, perhaps, moo.

Nurit: *raises an eyebrow* Moo?

Perrin: *LMAO* people always fall for that.

Nurit: *Readjusts her glasses* What’s with WoT characters and lame jokes? *shakes head* So, how did you first realize you were attracted to men?

Perrin: Pfft… have you seen any sane woman in the whole WoT series?

Nurit: Good point.

Perrin: Yes, and unless your true and most deep desire is to become a butt monkey, by all means, date one of those creepy women.

Nurit: Is that written in your note book?

Perrin: *half grin* Yes.

Nurit: Do you miss your old days as a blacksmith?

Perrin: At times.

Nurit: Do you wish you never met Rand? That way you wouldn’t be involved in all of this?

Perrin: Are you kidding me? Did you see that red sexy hot momma…. He can be my dragon reborn any day, if you know what I mean.

Nurit: Well, I’m working on repressing that right now, so I’ll get back to you on that.

Perrin: Perfect!

Nurit: Do you have any comments about Berelain perhaps?

Perrin: That little saucy wench. Now that’s a woman who doesn’t know the meaning of no. Dig her outfits, though. I bet that white fluffy number would look great on me.

Nurit: I’m sure it would. *shudders*

Perrin: A shiver of excitement, Nurit? I’m sorry, I’m spoken for. Javier gets extremely jealous. He loves it when I put on my speedos and smack his…

Nurit: Would you look at that, we’re out of time! Thank you for coming, Perrin. It’s okay, we won’t make that mistake again.

Perrin: Oh, it’s quite all right. And next time you interview Randy poo please let me know. *purrs*

Nurit: O_O Not seeing that happening any time soon, but sure thing.

Perrin: Goodnight everyone! *sends a kiss to Javier and smacks his ass*

Nurit: Until next time, everyone *wink*

Nyn

Intro:Who doesn’t love gossip?  Who done what, with whom, and when did they do it?  We’ve got all the dirt at the Gossip Corner; we’re even better than Perez Hilton! This month, we bring you the latest in bondings, and staff torture!

The Blue and Yellow auction results came in this month, and they were staggering.
(See the original thread HERE )

Elgee, our very own Keeper, was won by Nynaeve, and became Santa Claus for the week, and went around granting everyone’s “wishes”. See the display of holiday spirit  HERE

Mystica won our very own Mother Ducker. The winning bid: she had to make a sensible duck reference everytime she posted. Unfortunately,  our precious MotherDucker and her family were out most of the week due to flu. We’re just glad she didn’t turn into a pig on us! Glad you’re back, Mother, dearest!

Barmacral was won by Nynaeve as well, and had to post in movie quotes only. He hasn’t been around much lately. We’re keeping our eyes open!

Lor, our favorite MoN, was won by Naeann, and became a novice for the week. See some of the mayhem she wraught HERE

Verbal was also won by Naeann, and had to PUBLICLY renounce his love for Angelina Jolie, as well as explaining why he has switched his affections.  He also renewed his affections for Bob, your favorite Moat Monster and mine.  See the sad story of love and loss HERE. Also, click HERE to see Verb’s reunion with Bob. At least the public part!

Mystica also won our own Blue Ajah head, Daruya. She had to tell us all about her imaginary friend, Henry. It was very frustrating for her when no one else could see him! See her grand introduction thread HERE

Mystica was on a roll, as she also won Twinflower, the lovely head of the Whites. Twinny had to post a different pair of socks and explain how they fit in with her post. Unfortunately, Twinny has also been absent this week. Wherever you are, Twinny, we hope you can come back to us soon!

Nynaeve also won the lovely Cairos, but his bid was all for himself: really!
He got to cook a huge feast, and all of it was for himself. Believe me, dear reader, there was biting, and snatching. And a few vampires were created. See the bloodbath HERE

Nynaeve, that feisty Yellow Head, was won by the equally fiery Mystica. She had to tell “random people how much that she likes them”
But Nyn has been curiously absent for a few days- maybe she’s been silently stalking?

On the other hand, Mystica, our delightful Red Ajah Head, was won by Taymist,  and here it is folks: SHE HAD TO WEAR PINK. FOR A WEEK. As well as assorted other pink to-do items. See the new PINK lounge.

Nynaeve also won Kara, the Battle-General of the Green Ajah. Kara developed Multiple Personality Disorder: Half the time, she was a lovely, lovely queen, regal and polished. The other half of the time, well, lets just say that a snobby little princess doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Finally, Vanion was won by Nynaeve. And Vanion, our Ren’Shai Disc Leader, became a thirteen year old girl complete with all the fussy trappings. See his advice column HERE

That about covers it for the latest! Thanks for dropping by. We’ll see you next month!

by Little Miss

Welcome to the section where you can get your monthly fill of:

“I can’t believe they just said that!” to the “LMAO!  Now that was funny!”  And let’s not forget the lovely ones that make you want to add, “That’s what she said…”

Now Ladies and Gentleman, please enjoy the random, nonsensical, and utterly delightful quotes of the month!

Quote from LilyElizabeth:

Contrary to popular opinion, it’s been some time since Lor actually ate a novice. You can ask her anything, really, hon. She’s very nice.

Quote from Elgee:

Oh yeah remember to keep a look out for my Dick – Kara sent it to me, and she’ll have your hide if you lose it 

Quote from Bryguy299’s Signature:

“How many Red Ajah does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

Answer from Miya:

Quote from Miya:

Ps:  In answer to your signature.  15.  13 to shield the male channeler who burnt out the last one.  One to distract the busy body blue who thinks the bulb should be left well enough alone and another to order a novice to change the bulb now or report to the mistress of novices immediately for penance.

Quote from Wayward_fool:

Niiiiceee… tell me more… Like why did he pull off Set’s testicle? I always thought that was rather strange.

Quote from Mystica:

but… but….. you think these curves just happen by themselves? They take a lot of work! And padding…

Quote from Raijin:

Yeah…toying with Elgee is like seasoning yourself, then baiting a tiger with your own body :-\

Quote from charis sedai:

Lol, and I thought everyone wanted to be inside Kara’s undies  ;D

Quote from Ireond:

As my Auntie used to say  “Well, Butter my bum and call me a biscuit.”

Quote from Wayward_fool:

*eyes Cairos standing over a tied down Horus*

Umm… I’m interrupting something ain’t I?

Ookiee… *goes hang out with other people*

Quote from: Tynaal Consen

BRONTOSAURUSISES!!

Quote from Verbal32:

Hehehehe….novice Lor.  Remember that pony you wanted when you were a novice?  Well I’ve been waitin’ for a time like this!

*opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony falls out*

Oh, oh god, that’s right…..ponies………ponies like food.  :-\

Quote from OptimusPrime’s Siggy:

God: Can I allow Light?

Chuck Norris: Can He allow Light?

Bela: Tell Him to say please

Quote from ConQuest:

*pulls out a walki talki*

Come in Alpha base, do you read Alpha base….

Requesting back up

No im not faking aga… yes this time…. no i didnt mean to blow up the…

Yes sir, your right sir….

*throws down walki-talki* this would be much more fun if it had batteries in it

If you have a quote you believe deserves to be on our list, please email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org to let us know about it!  We’ll do our best to include it, but we make no guarantees!

This is issue we highlight the possibilities that JASON DENZEL: Creator, Founder and ALL ROUND NICE GUY of Dragonmount, could be a suspect. Insanity? The Taint? Too much deviant se- computer games? That’s what our investigator for the week, Charis Jr, is trying to find out.

by Torrie Sedai

I have been called upon to examine and observe the mighty Disciplines in the area. There has been talk that these rough and tumble Warders and Warders-to-be have a soft side that shows through. At this point I am skeptical. Observation and interaction are required to determine if these creatures are tame or wild. I will put myself at risk and enter the Warders Guild to determine if the stories are true.

There seems to be three different packs in the Guilds. Hierarchy, I am sure, is determined in a way that is secret and we may not be able to find out this secret. I will start first in the Cuen’d’eren. I have learned that a Warder named Ireond is the head of this pack, also known as the Sword Commander.

As I diverge into the Cuen’d’eren common room there are students studying under the careful eye of fully trained Warders. It appears that the fighting style is a two handed one that requires full balance.  As I watch, Ireond quickly dispatches 3 students that thought they could get the better of him. As he lectures the students on their ineffective moves he refers constantly to a motto: “Two hands are better than one.”

As I make my way around the common area I spy an area that is covered with Red Aes Sedai. Are they looking for men that can channel? Are they trying to bring this rowdy group under their firm hand of control? No! They are being served drinks and working on sword play. How interesting.

There is also a group of students that are discussing Aes Sedai handling. Hummmm. Seems as if the Aes Sedai need to catch up on their Warder handling. There is also a group of Novices and Algai who are huddling close together while being lead by an experienced Accepted. They look a little frightened by the sword play and brutishness of the men and women of the Cuen’d’eren.

Just as I am about to conclude my observations for the day, I see an explosion of purple sparkles followed by balloon throwing.  Is this the proof that I need to show the soft side of the Warders?

Stay tuned as I investigate further into the Cuen’d’eren and the other Warder groups. We will find an answer.

If you have something to submit to Discipline Update, please email it to me at daesdaemar@whitetower.org with “Discipline Update” in the subject.

Welcome to the Voice!

Narrator: Today, we live in a world where Aes Sedai and Warders run about doing their own business. We have Aes Sedai from the seven different Ajahs and also bustling Novices and Accepted in the White Tower Halls. Today we are going to jump into the mind of Cairos Sedai, the new Gray Ajah Head. He recently became the new Head after Mendorah Sedai stepped down. Cairos Sedai, can you tell us something about the 7 different Ajahs that are in the White Tower, starting with yours?

Cairos: Sure Mr. Narrator. *Cairos chuckles to himself* The Gray Ajah is a small one. Despite that, it is very unique and different in many ways. The Gray Ajah has many interests, of which the major ones are cooking, gardening, various forms of crafting and volunteering. *Cairos puts on a Chef’s hat* Many members come to the Grays in search of recipes or help with cooking. The Gray is also about community and helping out in any way we can. I can also make a mean chocolate chip cookie if you decide to stop by. *Cairos starts grinning*

Narrator: Thank you Cairos Sedai, for telling us what the Gray Ajah is about. Now, since you are bonded to a few people that are from other Ajahs, can you tell us what the other Ajahs are like and what they are about? Let’s start with the Red Ajah, since you are bonded to a Red–a Red that became Keeper.

Cairos: No problem, Mr. Narrator. The Red Ajah is lovely and amazing, with a really mixed group of members. The head of the Red Ajah is Mystica Sedai. All the Reds give a mean snugglebiting to everybody. The Red Ajah is about individuality and equality. They are a strong-willed group. They can be serious at times, but they also can be a fun group to be around. Just be careful of their teeth. *To show the Narrator what he means, Cairos snugglebites the Narrator*

Narrator: *Enjoys the snugglebites* Thank you for telling us what the Red Ajah is about. What about the Yellow Ajah, since you have a brother who is one of their members?

Cairos: The Yellow Ajah has a wonderful Head leading them. Her name is Nynaeve Sedai. She is the high mighty yellow of all yellows.  The Yellow Ajah is less focused on healing of the body, and more on healing of the mind and heart. They are welcoming to everybody in the White Tower, and they provide a fun and crazy atmosphere. They also have floor boards and are the only Ajah that spanks people with them. *Gets a hidden floor board and spanks the Narrator*

Narrator: *Is surprised by the spanking* Who else are you connected to? Let’s see–you have a sister in the Blue Ajah. Tell us about the Blue Ajah.

Cairos: The Blue Ajah….Hmmmm…..What can I say about them? They are a great bunch. Did I mention there is this blue brother in the Ajah? His name is Boopsy aka Wayward Fool. He is sometimes crazy, but crazy in a good way. *Smiles* The Blue Ajah Head is Daruya Sedai. She is a wonderful lady with crazy blueberry muffins. They are deadly. The thing that the Blues love the most besides blueberry muffins is HARRY POTTER. *Cairos starts screaming like a little girl* YES ITS HARRY POTTER!!! Who doesn’t like Harry Potter. *Cairos thinks he better not hear anybody say anything bad about Harry Potter*

Narrator: Sounds to me like they are a great bunch who are Harry Potter Fanatics. *Narrator gets hit by a bludger* Ouch. It seems I shouldn’t have said that. Onwards…. Tell us about the Green Ajah, since you are bonded to a green.

Cairos: Hmmmmm….The Greens…The Battle Ajah…They are lead by a fierce and strong leader. Her name is (wait for it….wait for it…wait for it….) Kara J Sedai. The Green Ajah is another great bunch. They are a close knit group. They are an Ajah about family. All of them care a great deal about each other. They are fierce in what they believe in. *Whispers in the Narrator’s ear* They are the wielders of the WHIPS. Yes, WHIPS!!! So you better be careful.*Cairos takes shiny green whip and whips the Narrator*

Narrator: Again I got hit by a weapon from an Ajah. *Starts to giggle* Let’s talk about the Whites and the Browns.

Cairos: Well, the Whites and the Browns are small Ajahs too. They both also got new heads this fall. The White Ajah Head is Twinflower Sedai, and the Brown Ajah Head is Karana Sedai. The White Ajah is about logic and puzzles and the Brown Ajah is about knowledge and learning. What else can I say about them??? OH, YEAH!!! The Browns make wonderful delicious brownies. They are known for that. The Whites are known for their wonderful discussions.

Narrator: Cairos Sedai, thank you for spending time with me and with telling us about the different Ajahs in the White Tower. Stay tuned for the next article called “Living in the Ajah Houses.”
*Narrator takes all the special gifts and tries them out*

TRAGEDY HAS OCCURRED!! Asmodean, the cute lil’ harp player, who just HAPPENS to be a Forsaken, was found dead. DEAD! Such travesty! How did it happen? Who would want this sweet lil’ man, who JUST happens to have tortured and killed many other innocents, dead?

Follow our two investigators, Charis Jr. and Little Miss, as they go around torturing interrogating interviewing the key suspects at DM. Every few months, we will feature a brand new mystery. Each issue, we will let you know of the next witness and you will get to submit a question, and the top 1 to 2 questions will be featured in the issue. And at the end of it, YOU will get to vote as to who committed the crime.

Needless to say, punishments will follow. Hands cuffed, feet tickled, much torturing and rejoicing all around. It will be a party! A CASEFILES party! So, let’s start this week with the 2 people who were closest to the scene of the crime. Our Keeper of the Chronicles and Editor in Chief, Elgee, and her right-hand man(A very dodgy job title, if you ask me) Boopsy Sedai(Also a very dodgy name, if you ask me)!

Elgee’s Holiday Interrogation:

Hello folks!  *cue spot light, on occupied comfy chair* Crystal Lynn reporting here, to bring you the most informing, most exciting, and most action-packed peek into our esteemed and beloved Keeper’s Holiday Social Life!

Knocking on the door to the Keeper’s study I wait for an answer; after not receiving an answer I shrug and figure that I might as well let myself in and take a seat while waiting for her eventual return.  Glancing around I notice two things immediately, one is the very large amount of red colored furnishings and the second being that the poor woman’s desk was covered in mounds of paper work.  Only seeing one chair in front of her desk and deciding that it looks extremely hard and uncomfortable, I pass it up in favor of pacing the otherwise homey office.

Walking past the desk, I know not to go through her paper work… but somehow I still manage to get a tiny glimpse of a paper with the words “whip, paddle, whipped cream, and rum” jotted on it…Going red faced I decided it’s in my health’s better interest to not stay by that side of the room.  After a few more minutes, Elgee walks in and we sit down and have some tea before getting down….. to business that is.

Taking a sip of tea, I ask an age-old question,

Q. So Miss Elgee, Holiday Fruit Cake or Not to Holiday Fruit Cake?

Her prompt reply was:

A. I’m an all-year-round Fruit Cake.

Shuddering with disgust and internally cringing, I immediately ask the next question.

Q. If you could design one cheesy Christmas sweater, how would you describe it?

Deciding that as the Keeper, she was too good for the likes of ‘cheesy’ and was a sensible woman with ‘tastes’ (Like fruitcake -_-), she says:

A. I don’t do cheesy … lol

Sighing over the not-so-exciting answer, I decided to press the issue a little more.

Q. So just go with it for a moment and pretend that you had made one, kk?  Who would you make wear the atrocity sweater?

She thinks for all of two seconds, before her superimposed horns stick out and replies:

A. Kara, for sure *grins evilly*

We both giggle till we’re out of breath before getting back on track.

Q. So there are plenty of holiday traditions in the world, like decorating a Christmas tree, “The Santa Clause” and such; what holiday tradition do you feel you most resemble?

She eyes the top drawer of her desk (no doubt where the aforementioned rum is held) while pretending to think, and answers with a big grin:

A. Probably the hangover.

Ahhhh!  Now it all makes sense…the whip…the rum…  I mean…  Anyways…  Let’s move to the final question shall we?

Q. All righty Elgee!  This is the last question for the interview so really give it to us!    What wintertime holiday do you celebrate, and what is the most important/fun/meaningful part?

Smiling and taking a moment to compose her last answer she replies:

A. I’m in the southern hemisphere – we don’t really have holidays in winter.  But I LOVE winter, so I think the whole of it should be a holiday *nods*. If you are referring to the Funny Season: we don’t really celebrate, just get together as a family and stuff our faces.

“Stuffing our faces.”  Spoken like a true woman who knows how to celebrate right!  Never mind the rum!  It’s the food that’s the important part!  ^^

As I walked over to the quarters of Boopsy Sedai, something smacked me RIGHT IN THE BRAIN. I had utterly forgotten to ask Elgee about Asmodean! Light, what a brain fart. It was the rum. IT WAS THE RUM. As I squatted in a corner clutching my head, and ignoring the looks of passing Novices, I mumbled the various curses against all alcohol in general. Then when I decided enough time had passed, I stood up and continued my skipping over to Boopsy’s quaint little palace room, tra-la-laing as I went along. I was NOT disappointed to see the moat, tall towers rising to the sky and his gorgeous garden. These facts all announced one fact– announced it as well as trumpet fanfares could as I approached.

I knew I had reached the Quarters of Boopsy Sedai.

Boopsy’s Tell All Exclusive!

Well now!  Fancy meeting you here!  I thought you’d NEVER show up…  So I guess you being here means that you want the down and dirty facts on the ever infamous and ever lovable Boopsy Kins right? Right?! *narrows eyes* -_- Great!

Now…let’s get to why you came!

This was the day… the BIG day…the one where the horrific honest truth would come out on our dear Blue Aes Sedai.

I knew I had reached the quarters of Boopsy Sedai when I find it decked out in various hues of tastefully matching blues… although the dead giveaway way was the silk pillows strewn over the place…with the occasional fluffy one as well…Poking around a little, I find my victim interviewee sprawled on an overly large pile of cushions while some poor novice (who’s name will not be mentioned for the sake of privacy) fanning him.

I coughed to announce myself, which sent the frightened little novice scurrying away while me and Boopsy Kins sat down over coffee and cookies.

Q. Good afternoon, Boopsy Sedai; thank you so much for humbling our newspaper with an exclusive tell-all. Now, let’s begin. One of the most-asked questions about your most personal life and routine has to be, do your ears hang low?

Boopsy immediately sits up from his sprawl and vehemently replies:

A. Hang low? Like Mistletoe? ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF KISSING NOVICES AGAIN? I thought we got over that. I was not kissing you! I was… LIES, ALL LIES!

By the time he has finished, foam has gathered at the edges of his mouth and a wild look has entered his eyes… I decide that if I want to leave these quarters alive and not be stuck licking shoe polish for the rest of my immortal Novice life, that it would be a really good idea to move onto another subject. Poring over the noted questions, I find a fairly safe one to ask.

Q. SSssoooo… um… how about this one? If the WT could have one pet other than Bob? What would it be and why?

Switching gears quicker than I could blink, he immediately was bouncing up and down like a little puppy at the idea of this and answered:

A. I would love an ickle Novice as a pet to fetch my slippers, to feed my fish, to entertain me once in a while, to lick my- Whoa, sorry. Drifted away there. *misty eyed*

I fight to maintain my cool Aes Sedai mask of serenity as well as having to forcibly swallow down the bile that had risen in my throat.  Glancing at my notepad again, I decide it’s time to get to the tougher questions… and AWAY from anything that can even remotely involve Novices…..

Q. Tell me, oh wise and all-knowledgeable Boopsy– Bela: Creator? Darkfriend, or just a Two Rivers pony?

Glancing sideways towards a large walk-in closet, that apparently has blue satin curtains instead of doors, he quickly says:

A. I’m going to go for Creator.

Yet my sharp reporter ears picked up quick muttered prayer of “hopes no one found my Bela shrine yet.”  Jotting this down as little tidbit as innocently as possible, I quickly change tactics and hit with curveball.

Q. Now that the Bela mystery is solved… What’s your view on Asmodean’s betrayal to the Forsaken? Cowardly? Brilliant?

Even though Boopsy eventually chose the Blue Ajah, the Brown Ajah has always been a second home to him, and as such, any prospect of something new or an interesting topic as intrigued him. He took his time and formed his answer:

A. Absolutely brilliant! Actually, I always wanted a harp playing pet. You think I could get him onboard?

I interrupt him at this point adding, “Boopsy Kins… He’s dead. Gone. Vanished. Murdered.”

A. He’s dead? Sorry? When did THAT happen? I ummm… never knew.

Now, take note of the shifty eyes, people… and the supposed innocence here. Now why would one who LOVES knowledge NOT know that Asmo had been offed?  Perhaps there is more going on than we all thought…

Q. Final question for the day…(for now) So… How do you do with the guilt?

Faking an obvious look of surprise at this question he stammers for a second and says:

A. Guilt? What guilt? I DID NOT KISS THE NOVICES DANG IT! *sulks* Oh, Asmodean again. What’s with this chick anyway? How’d he die?

Yeah. Right. Likely story. Take a good look at that question, my lovelies. I was just asking about how he dealt with guilt in general… nothing to do with Asmodean… perhaps shock at finding out about his death? or Something else?

Stay tuned for more intrigue, interrogations, blackmail, and juicy details in the next issue of Daes Dae’mar!  Our next subject of interview will be Jason (Dragonmount site owner and erstwhile Dragon Reborn).  If you would like to submit a question for him, please email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org with the subject line “Casefiles”.  Be sure to include who your question is for!

Crystal Lynn – Signing off <3

Sometimes in life, we seem to exhaust our supply of books, music and movies. This is a great shame, as these are things which most people find important. So, in an attempt to help you out of that rut you may find yourself in, this column is dedicated to Recommended Reading/Watching/Listening.

I will do my best to bring you great books, movies, TV shows and music for your personal enjoyment!

Recommended Reading

Books by H.P Lovecraft

• The Alchemist (1908)
• The Call of Cthulhu (1926)

Books by Steven Erikson

• Gardens of the Moon (1999)
• Deadhouse Gates (2000)

I don’t want to overload you with books to read just yet, so I will leave it there for now! The reasons for my recommendations here are simple. H.P Lovecraft was an author before his time. His grasp of modern horror is what sparked Steven King to become a modern horror writer, and Lovecraft’s work is simply amazing, when considering the time he was writing in. He creates a spin on the modern pathos of evil that has survived to this day.

Now, Steven Erikson… I cannot say enough good things about this man. The character rich world this man creates will always leave you satisfied. You’ll be on the edge of your seat the entire time, never able to put his books down. With plot twists in what is already a masterfully planned work will see you rooting for a wide range of characters, both good and evil.

Recommended Watching

Television Series

• Bones
• House
• Dexter
• Sons of Anarchy
• One Tree Hill (My wife insists that this be added…)
• SG:Universe

Movies

• Avatar
• The Boondock Saints
• Shooter
• 300
• V for Vendetta
• The Last Samurai

Anime Series (For You Anime Lovers!)

• Vampire Knight
• Rurouni Kenshin
• RahXephon
• Witchblade
• Darker Than Black
• Code Geass

Well, that should give you quite a bit to watch for now. Believe me, this is by no means a complete list of what I would recommend. These are simply shows and movies off the top of my head. Hopefully, you will enjoy them. If it’s not to your taste, well, be sure you check out next month’s column and you may just find something you’ll enjoy!

Recommended Listening

Now then, music is always a touchy subject, as there is a very wide range of genres out there. My musical taste is pretty varied, but I will tell you this straight out… the chances of you finding any rap, hip hop and such on these lists… is extremely slim. It’s not a genre I personally enjoy. Except for old school hip hop. That stuff just has rhythm anyone can enjoy.

Now, just so you know, my band lists will include some classics, which you should already know.. if not though, have no fear! You are about to get a taste of greatness! Also, as a point, I will try to include some lesser known bands which I think you should take a chance on. This is the point in your life where you can break free of the mainstream, corporate trash that being fed to the masses.

So, on to the list!

Metal Bands

• Metallica
• Iron Maiden
• Slayer
• Pantera
• 36 Crazyfists
• Fireball Ministry

This list could go on and on. I am a big metal fan, and there are many metal genres, so make sure you check out next month’s list for metal, as I will have more metal bands for your enjoyment. These metal bands have hard hitting hooks and riffs, combined with lyrics that you’ll love.

Now then, let us continue!

Rock/Alternative

• Flyleaf
• Jack’s Mannequin
• 12 Stones
• Halestorm
• Dropping Daylight
• Story of the Year
• Theory of a Deadman
• Nazareth
• Eddie and the Cruisers

I could list a hundred more bands, but this will get you started. You no doubt see some band names in there you’ve never heard of before. Give them a chance. You may not like them, but then again, they just may change your life. I like these bands not only for their instrumental greatness, but their lyrics are simply something I can identify with, whatever my mood happens to be.

Punk Rock

• Dead Kennedys
• Bad Religion
• The Clash
• Dropkick Murphys
• Flogging Molly
• Stiff Little Fingers
• Streetlight Manifesto

More than enough for your listening pleasure. All are great bands if you like Punk Rock or Ska. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Now, I am gong to drop a final list under Blues. If you don’t like Blues, you just haven’t been listening to the right stuff! As a guitarist, I simply love the Blues. I always figured when I picked up a guitar for the first time, that once I got real good, I would shred. Metal solo’s all day, every day! Face melting, ear murdering awesome. Was I ever wrong. When I am sitting around and I start playing for myself, I always end up playing Blues. I chalk this up to a good friend of mine who I’ve known for about 19 years now. He was my inspiration, and when he played the Blues, he did it from the heart and soul.

On to the list.

Blues

• Robert Johnson
• B.B King
• Albert King
• John William Coltrane
• Muddy Waters

I’ll not create a huge list here for Blues, as not many people are fans of this genre.

Ladies and gentlemen, this will conclude this month’s Recommended Reading/Watching/Listening column! I encourage you all to expand your taste in music, movies and tv shows. Try something new once in a while. Who knows, you make be thankful you did!